Please Pray or Send Positive Thoughts

I don't know the following blogger, what I do know is that she is a Mom to 3 young children, has a husband, family and many friends who love her. Who want her to get better...

She recently suffered a very severe stroke and is hospitalized. I have seen the power of prayer and how when enough people come together for a common goal it can be accomplished. So pray...pray hard and long. Pray that this young woman comes back to her family, pray for her family and friends so that they may have the strength needed to endure this difficult time. Pray that her babies don't have to know life without Mommy.

Here is a link to AimingLow, a blog she is part of:

http://aiminglow.com

and her blog:

http://freeanissa.com

My prayers are being offered up for her recovery, please join me.

How High are the bubbles Momma.... 10 ft high and risin'...

Last week I went to my Brother's house to watch his children while he and his wife went to Vegas. I was thrilled to be asked and looked forward to the trip.

My Brother does well and I am very proud of the life that he and his lovely wife have created for themselves, they have 3 well-behaved, beautiful children, a wonderful home, complete with requisite dog.

I had much fun playing with the kids and doing what needed done. On my last night there I thought I'd treat myself to a bubble bath in the en suite. Now, before we go any further, let me just say that I have a jet tub in my house and I always use bubbles with no adverse effects!

I wanted to have the fireplace on while I soaked, YES I said fireplace, but the pilot light was not lit and I figured I'd best leave well enough alone...so no fire. No worries!! The tub was huge and inviting. Three bottles of bubble bath lined the ledge around the tub. Aha!!!! I'll try this pomegranate/vanilla one!

So as the tub was filling I drizzled in a small amount of bubble bath. I was giddy with anticipation!!! Tea...check...book....check...towel...check. I couldn't wait to sink into that bad boy and turn the jets on.

I checked on the children, all was well. I got my daughter all settled in and entered the en suite ready to relax.

I stripped out of my clothing, piled my hair into a messy bun and stepped into the tub.

Aaahhhhhh ....that was the sound of the sigh escaping my lips as I lowered myself into the water, run to the perfect temperature. The decadent scent of the lovely bubbles wafted upward. Then I had to figure out how to turn the jets on. My tub has a switch on the wall, yeppers, oooold school...this tub was electronic with a touch pad. After much derision (I was scared I'd wreck something) I figured it out and the jets were away!

What I didn't realize is that this tub isn't really jets per say, but a whole lot of tiny little holes that blow air in the water. As I was settled back reading my book I failed to notice the rising level of the bubbles. When they began to overtake my face and my hands I realized that something was amiss. I looked up from the text in horror!

The bubbles were higher than I was in the tub. I had visions of them spilling over everywhere, I didn't know what to do. So I pressed the off button. And I sat there...pondering. I thought, well, surely they can't go any higher, so I turned it on and once again settled back with my book. Yeeeeaaahhh, I was a wee bit wrong on that thought. Higher they went. I turned it off. Slumped back, tossed my book over the side, picked up my tea and had a sip then gnawed on a nail. What the eff was I going to do... had I done something wrong... had I *gasp* wrecked something. Then I started to do what I do when I'm confronted with an uncomfortable thought... I began to giggle and then laugh at the absurdity of the situation. I called my daughter in to see. She walked in, stopped dead and said "what the....?" After shared laughter she walked out.

I got out of the tub and dried off. I drained the water. I looked at the tub still filled to half with bubbles and began to panic. Crap, crap ... CRAP!!!! Thankfully there was a retractable shower nozzle by the tub faucet (thank you whoever designed this!) so I ran cold water through the nozzle and began spraying the bubbles. They didn't seem to be shrinking. I kept spraying. They were STILL there. Suddenly a horrific noise filled the en suite and bubbles flew up and out of the tub.... I was stunned. What was going on??? Then I looked at the touch screen and saw the words "drying cycle"... are you kidding me!!!! I found the off button and shut it down... but drying cycle was still blinking. Man, this process best hurry up I thought as I wiped the sweat from my brow. Finally after what seemed like hours the bubbles were gone, the tub was clean.

Let the drying process begin!!!

I cleaned up the rest of the mess and went to bed.

Next time I'll light the pilot light!!

I broke it :o((

Last Friday I was making calls to arrange the transfer of my utilities for when we move (downsizing to a smaller, cheaper place ... moving sucks!!). I went to stand up, slipped and landed with my hand on the right hand corner of my laptop....HARD... right where the hard drive is housed.

It froze. It won't turn on.

I took it to a computer shop, they say the hard drive is fubar'd. When I took it to them it wouldn't do anything, when I brought it home it will turn on enough to tell me that a kernel file ( I wrote down the file name) is missing or corrupt. I want my files from the My Documents folder. I have tons of stuff, mainly photos that I stupidly did not back up *cry*. I have a buddy in Edmonton who says that he has a friend who does data recovery for a living and that he might be able to help me... I certainly hope so. However, I have to wait until I get to Edmonton at some point or until the dude comes down this way... and let me tell you patience is not my strong point!!

I didn't realize how very attached I had become to my laptop until I found myself chained to the PC again. Ohhhh Laptop... how I miss thee!!! Since I have been out of work since the end of June I don't foresee a new laptop anytime in my immediate future, and since the original plan for me was to buy a mac book the next time I purchased a laptop, I envision myself waiting even longer. *sigh*

Unless of course, some big apple exec reads this and decides to take pity on me ... it's my birthday soon ... I'd sure like a mac book!!!

NEVER FORGET

Today I am reflecting...remembering the fallen...343 FDNY Firefighters, 37 Port Authority, 23 NYPD Officers, those at the Pentagon and the passengers and crew aboard United 93.

May those who were left behind have a day in which they are able to remember the good times with those they lost on that fateful day.

I still remember where I was and the horror I felt on that day. I can still feel that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Never forget 9/11.

Change

Change is supposed to be good, but when several changes are thrown our way all in a short period of time it can throw your equilibrium off. I find myself in this position as of late. This is why I haven't been blogging, my frame of mind hasn't been right.

I am struggling to find my center, my balance. I have been grappling with a lot of "why am I here?", "what is my purpose?", "what am I meant to be doing?". Slowly I am climbing from the abyss I've been in back to the real world... but it's been a journey.

As I face more change I brace myself. I pray for inner peace and sanctity within my life. I pray for direction, the knowledge to take the right path, the ability to discern what is right for my family and I.

For all those going through difficult transitions within their lives... I wish you strength, and courage to persevere. I wish you peace of mind and a happy heart.

Life's Little Lessons Sometimes Harsh Lessons

Yesterday my teenage daughter's best friend's Mom passed away. L's primary cancer was cervical, it is a cancer no woman should ever die of. It is one of the most curable cancers there is, but for whatever reason L is gone because of it.

My heart broke for S (16), her sisters (18, 13 & 11) and her Dad, not to mention the rest of the family and friends. I know how hard it was to lose my Mom when I was 35, I can't imagine losing a Mother at such a tender age.

I do know, however, how an illness such as this can force you to grow up a whole lot faster than was ever intended. I was ten when my Mom fought her first battle with brain cancer, fortunately she survived, but it left scars on us still. Just knowing that there is a chance that your Mom could die forces a child to come to many scary realizations. I had horrible, recurring nightmares during this dark time (interestingly the same nightmares plagued me in my adult years the next two times my Mom battled this disease, even though I was grown up with children of my own), and the fears were debilitating. I sit here with a heavy heart and can only imagine what L's daughters must be feeling, their fears; the feelings of a loss too big for words.

S, the 16 y/o and K her younger sister who is 11 both hang around with my daughters. The girls spend much time between the 2 homes. My oldest daughter spent countless hours at the hospital with S and her family, visiting with L and offering emotional support to her friend. Yesterday my daughter phoned me at work to say that S had called and L had passed away; she was calm and composed. When I asked her if she was ok (she had been quite close to L) she said she was, she reminded me that this had been expected. I smiled inwardly at her adult take on the situation.

I am proud of my daughters, they have a healthy outlook, they realize people die and it's a part of life, a sad part, but one we must all come to accept at some point. I once worked in a position where I did first removals (when people passed on I picked them up and took them to the funeral home) as well as a paramedic so my kids were exposed to many a story, usually with the intent to show how fragile life is. They have lost family members and childhood friends. Perhaps they've been exposed to death more than the average child, but I view that as a positive rather than a negative. It has given them strength. Strength that they can draw on to be there for others in their times of need. Strength to help them deal with whatever curve ball life may throw their way.

Last night was the final soccer game for my youngest. While there we talked a bit about the loss of L, and I asked her how K was. She said she didn't know. When I suggested she call K she said, "Mom I don't want to." I was taken aback, I wondered aloud why would she not want to call her friend. She told me that she didn't know what to say. How often do we as adults avoid the same type of situations for the same reasons?

I put my arm around her and looked her in the eye and told her, there is no "right" thing to say, there is nothing you can say that will take the pain of this day away, BUT you can be her friend, and right now that's all she needs... to know that her friend is there for her. You don't even have to talk, just listen... sit in companionable silence... but just be there.

She understood and felt better about not knowing what to say.

It would be nice if kids didn't have to know these sorts of things, it would be nice if we could live a Utopian existence where it was always sunshine and smiles, but reality is what it is and we can't. We can only do our best to ensure our children are as equipped as possible to handle the world.

I urge all my female readers to please PLEASE ensure you get your yearly check-up. If something doesn't feel right, get a check-up. If you think your doctor is wrong push harder for answers, get second opinions. We must look out for our best interests.

RIP L .... you will be dearly missed.

Opportunity Knocked and I Answered...Will You?

Recently a friend of mine and I were talking, she was telling me about this new venture she had found and how after only 3 months she was making enough to be able to quit her job (where she was not happy) and be at home with her son. I admit to being intrigued, I don't want to quit my job, but I sure would like extra income.

So I went over and looked at what she was doing and found myself impressed. Impressed enough to sign up and become a part of what she was doing.

She can go and work a farmer's market for one day and make $1000, so in essence if she wanted to she only has to "work" 4 times a month. She makes up baskets for special occasions and really markets herself well.

The company is called Mia Bella's, Premium Scented Gourmet Candles and Other Fine Gourmet Products. These candles are amazing, they are unlike any other you may have burned in the past. Allow me to show you a comparison:


Mia Bella Candles

Made from 100% vegetable oil, which is a renewable resource. Using renewable resources supports the economy.

Non-toxic and non-carcinogenic. We make one of the healthiest and most environmentally friendly candles available on the market today.

Burns clean, 90% soot FREE and are environmentally friendly.

More costly to manufacture but well worth the added expense.

Biodegradable and water soluble-spills clean up easily with a little soap and hot water.

Burns cooler therefore lasts up to 50% longer!!



Paraffin-Based Candle

Petroleum based by-product of gasoline refining which is manufactured from both foreign and domestic oil.

Emits 13 known toxins and carcinogens into the air while burning.

Emits high quantities of soot into the air that can damage your health and your homes interior.

Large manufacturers have profit motive for continuing to use paraffin-based waxes.

Non-biodegradable and non water-soluble. Spilled paraffin wax is difficult to clean, damaging carpets, clothing, furniture and floors.

Burns much hotter, therefore faster.



Mia Bella Products: Are extremely economical !!

Votive Candles: Average 15 burn hours !!
Jar Candles: Average 140 burn hours !!
Mia Melts: Average 35 fragrance hours !!


Body Care Products are concentrated so a little goes a long way !!!!

Soy Body Bars – Better than ordinary soap! Use to shower, shave and shampoo!! For all skin types. Contains soy proteins to protect the skin’s natural moisture barrier, repair the collagen and restore elasticity to mature skin. A must for travel !!

Bella Hand Wash - Contains white tea extract to keep your hands protected, soft and supple! Everyone will look forward to washing their hands! Pump included.

Bella Balm –As effective cream to treat cracked, chapped and dry skin without a greasy residue! You’ll love it !


Please visit: http://www.tranquil-moments.scent-team.com

These are scented right to the very bottom. The simmer pot we offer melts Mia Melts and the scent goes through your entire house. I could not believe how well scented these products are!!! Some candles claim to be scented all the way through, but are not, or the scent seems to get weaker the more you burn your candle, not Mia Bella's ...the scent lasts from start to finish.

If you are looking for a second income, or a way to earn money on the side without having to be out working another 8 hours for someone else... please join!! It is your business and you will get out of it what you put into it. If you are interested in finding out more about becoming a distributor in your area please visit:

http://www.tranquil-moments.scent-team.com and click on the "join" tab.

If you just wish to order some candles please feel free to order at my online store:

http://www.tranquil-moments.scent-team.com

I am certain that once you try this product you will be as hooked as I am. Oh, I almost forgot to mention, I have allergies and most other candles will bother me to some degree, these don't so that is another added bonus!!!!

We have also brought out a make-up line that... so be sure to check those products out as well!!

WHOA...can you tell how excited I am about this ... I can't stop talking about it !!!!

Check it out... try it.... I guarantee you'll like it!!!!

Heartspeak

A very dear friend of mine asked me to read a note she'd written, and to let her know what I thought. As I read what she had written, I recognized the words, I recognized the feelings... they mirrored mine almost exactly. Her words were beautiful and brought tears to my eyes. With her permission I share her words with you:

Dear Past:As I was sitting today reflecting on a passing comment made to me the other day, something came to me. The comment was "I don't even know you anymore!" This has really gotten me to thinking. You are right, you don't know me anymore. In fact, you never really did. I found the remark kind of ironic, because for the last couple of years, neither do I.

So, since hearing this remark, I have been spending most of my time trying to figure out where exactly it was that I lost myself. There is no answer to that I discovered. It was not one single event or moment; it was a culmination of many. For a long time I have been blaming my loss of self on you, my past. I thought that I had changed as a person due to the loss, abuse, heartbreak, fear and betrayal that I have endured. I had spent many hours wondering why does this happen to me, when will I be happy, what did I do to deserve this?? I now know the answer to that. I haven’t changed at all, besides growing wiser, I just forgot who I was.

Bit by bit, day by day you stole little pieces of me. Or so I thought. I learned to expect disappointment, rejection, pain, I was sure if I put myself out there that I would surely be hurt again. I created walls….a hard shell and I would rarely show what was hidden beneath to anyone. As the years went on it became easy to blame my fears on you. It was your fault. I forgot who I was too.

I realize now that it was your own fears and insecurities and lack of self worth that caused you to chip away at mine. It was life. Life is hard and situations happen. There are good people and bad people and I would allow anyone into my life, because I always felt that everyone deserves a chance. I was so arrogant that I thought I could save everyone. Pain is inevitable, everyone feels it. I was strong, confident, happy and had very clear goals. These characteristics are what drew every situation and person to me in the first place. But through this all, you broke me down into someone I no longer knew, but into someone you could control. It took a long time but eventually you succeeded, I forgot who I was.

I still really don’t know how I allowed this to happen. I was a person who had no fear, I lived life to the fullest, I loved with my whole heart and never turned away from someone in need. I loved myself and everyone around me. I knew that I could do anything that I put my mind to. I knew that I deserved respect, and I demanded it. That is who I was raised to be!

You took this from me with your mental and physical abuse, your betrayals, your lies and your lack of respect! So all this time, I have blamed you, my past, when in fact, I have no one to blame but myself, I allowed this to happen. I had become my own worst enemy. I had a choice and I chose to take this lying down. I acted like a victim. I am not a victim, I am a fighter! I fought for you, for my friends, for my family, for the little lost puppy but, I forgot to fight for the most important thing….myself.

Coming to this realization has completely changed my outlook. Life may have handed me shitty cards from time to time, but I didn’t deserve it……..I allowed it to make me lose myself. So dear past, I forgive you. And, no, you don’t know me at all! But I do!!!

Written by Joanne Schock June 7/09

Thank you my dear, dear Jo Hanna for sharing that with me and for allowing me to share it here. Thank you for giving voice to the girl inside me, the girl who sometimes wonders who am I and where do I fit.

Shout Out For a GREAT Customer Service!!!

Lately it seems as though we are surrounded by terrible customer service. No one seems to care anymore, they are just a warm body filling a space, collecting a paycheck. Recently I had the pleasure of being on the receiving end of some stellar customer service and I wanted to give the company a shout out. Perhaps anyone in need of the product they sell will be inclined to use their services.

My Dad started renovating his house shortly after my Mom passed away as something to keep him busy and occupy his mind. He has been plugging away at it for almost five years. Somewhere over the course of these years he purchased some ceramic tile to do the back splash in the kitchen. Fast forward to now.

He had installed his granite counter tops and began to install the ceramic tile. To his dismay he was short tiles and went to pick up some more. Uh oh... there were none to be found. He even checked in my city when he came to visit this past weekend, although he was fairly certain that he was not going to find any as the store in his hometown had told him that they were discontinued. Of course there were none in my city either.

I emailed the manufacturer with the model, color number, etc to inquire as to where these tiles might be found.

Celso Menezes, the general manager of the company emailed me back within a day. He told me that he had checked and the tiles were discontinued, however he was showing a couple of boxes in his warehouse and would ship them to my Dad free of charge. He was also willing to ship color samples to be sure they matched. I called my Dad and he was very happy. He said that he would make the tiles work even if the dye lots were a little off.

I got back to Celso Menezes to provide him with the shipping information and assured him that we would certainly be looking to his company first for any future tile needs. He told me that he would let me know as soon as the 4 boxes of tiles shipped to my father (2 plain and 2 w/the center design).

I am humbled by the generosity of this company, by the expedient nature of their reply and by their willingness to go that extra mile to ensure customer satisfaction and happiness. To say I am impressed would be an understatement. THIS ladies and gentlemen is what customer service is about, it's not that yawning teenager behind the counter grimacing because he has to actually earn his pay.

Here is the link for the company:

http://www.cecrisa.com.br/index_ingles.html

They are based in Brazil so the site may come up in a foreign language, but down on the left side you can click for English.

Thank you again Celso Menezes and Cecrisa ... you truly brightened my day!!

Energy Muse Bracelet

This entry is WAY over due, I apologize Debra.



Quite some time back I won this bracelet from Debra @ Four Angels Momma . If you've never visited Debra's blog I strongly suggest you do. Her words come from the heart and her content is always relevant to what is going on in your world on that particular day. Her words are always timely and meaningful. I believe that Debra has been given the gift of being a vessel for a higher realm, to impart wisdom and beauty in a world that all too often feels ugly and without meaning. I feel honored to be given the gift of her words each time I read her blog. Debra is truly a special individual.


When Debra had her give away for this bracelet, I knew I had to have it. I was so very happy when she notified me that I'd won, but because of her good heart she decided to give away two of the bracelets. If you are not familiar with Energy Muse bracelets I encourage you to visit their site. Each piece they sell serves a purpose. When Debra mailed the bracelets to the winners she indicated that she was sure the right bracelet would find the correct owner. She couldn't have known how true that was. The one I received is a grounding bracelet. Lately I've needed some grounding, to be reminded of what matters and what I can let go of. Of what I can change and thus should fight for and what I can't change and should just rid myself of. Each time I look at this bracelet I am reminded that miles away, on the coast of California there is a woman who cares and who is wise beyond anything. I am reminded to stop and breathe. To see the beauty in the world around me, and within me. I am reminded to love my feet (stay grounded, rooted).


I believe all things have energy and those energies can affect us in a positive or negative way. Perhaps it is because of this belief that this bracelet holds such meaning for me. I find myself searching for positive energies and ridding myself of negative energies. I am going through a cleansing phase, taking stock and ridding myself of dead weight. The city dump is going to love me!!! Spiritually as well as physically I am cleansing. Like Dharma I will find my bliss.


I just wanted to take this moment to thank Debra for being who she is. For sharing her inner beauty with all of us who choose to read her blog. For imparting her wisdom to us in such an uncannily timely manner. If I am ever offered the opportunity to walk on the beach searching for sea glass with this lady I will jump at the chance. She is definitely in my top ten list of people that I would love to share a pot of tea with!

My Apologies

I have been in a funk of sorts lately.

Not sure why, there really is no one reason. Lately it seems as though life has piled up and I have felt overwhelmed and somewhat alone in my quest for balance. Due to this state of being I haven't felt like writing, I feared that anything that came from my inner self at this point would be negative and not worth reading...so I have been avoiding my blog.

I'm hoping to soon feel more like blogging.

Plugged toilet ... cause: RAGS

We recently moved offices to a MUCH older building, which is fine, don't get me wrong. However, in the two weeks that we have been here the women's toilet has plugged and overflowed on three occasions. Unfortunately when it plugs and overflows the inconvenience doesn't just affect the women, it also affects the parts guy downstairs ... the water drips into his area. Niiiice!

Three times the plumbers have attended to the problem. On the last occasion they pulled out a little something on the end of their roto rooter jobbie thing. Now of course being a male plumber he just dealt with the first man he could find. Men being men they oooohed and aaaahed over the finding. Then the plumber left.

The man he had dealt with told me that the roto rooter had pulled rags out.

Fast forward two days. An email arrives from my direct supervisor, apparently we women are NOT to flush our tampons anymore because that is what is plugging the toilet. Also, refrain from using the nice, soft paper towels as toilet paper... of course this was said tongue in cheek. I emailed her back and said that it would be interesting to know just WHO was flushing tampons cuz this past week I've been the only one using that bathroom and I know I haven't been blessed with Aunt Flo's presence. And as for the paper towel being used as toilet paper ... well I like it rough but I'll try to refrain from that pleasure whilst at work.

I was annoyed that men upon hearing "rags" as the cause immediately pinned the blame on female sanitary products. I spoke the the guy who dealt with the plumber and he said the rags the plumber pulled out were shop type hand wipes used by mechanic types ..... hmmmmmm seeing as how the men's washroom is up-pipe from the woman's bathroom would you not deduce that the men are flushing things they shouldn't be?? Of course not, it's much simpler to blame the women.

I don't usually cry sexist... but really ... c'mon.

Oh and for the record..this is not a new problem, was happening before we arrived on the scene!!

Stranded ...

I came to Calgary yesterday to attend a family get together at my brother's house. When I left my house the temperatures were balmy, very spring like. They remained so even after I go to Calgary. Then I heard news that horrified me... they had issued a winter storm warning. As I looked to the clear blue sky I thought surely they must be joking!!!

I went to bed with visions of this in my head:

I was anticipating the arrival of spring and all that I have planned. I could taste it ... it was sooooo close. The snow was melting, the air was warming, the geese were back and I could hear the beautiful chirping of the birds who had been missing for so long.

In fact, on the drive to Calgary and once we had arrived I couldn't help but notice the barren brown of theland. It needs to green up soon I thought... the time is here!!!

I wouldn't allow my spring dreams to be dashed by a mere weatherman's bleak outlook, I mean really how often are they right, and hadn't we had enough winter.... hadn't we????

So I went to bed.

I awoke.

TO THIS SIGHT:

My brother grilled our dinner on here last night....

AND THIS ONE:

There was no snow on this deck yesterday...NONE...NOT ONE FLAKE...

AND THIS:

I wanted to run and hide. I wanted to scream and gnash my teeth. I wanted to sit down and cry rivers of tears. This storm effectively stranded me in Calgary. The highways are not in good condition, my truck is too light and frankly, I'm not brave enough to chance it. I was supposed to be seeing my boyfriend tonight, however that may not happen because I can't get home :o((

I know that being safe is more important and there will be other days to see him... but seriously ... winter needs to get lost ...NOW!!!!

I've had enough. I am cranky now. I am tired of white. I want color.

And this tree... this one right here:

Yeah, it was ready to weep this morning as well. It too wants winter to GO FAR AWAY!!!! It wants to spring forth with it's many buds and color the world a happy green.

I am so sick of winter.

If I call you Calgon ...will you take me away??

Cute Stuff

Not much to say today... but I did want to share this because it is too funny.

I received a text from my youngest daughter today.

It said:

"Can I have a breado"

I'm reading it, thinking breado...WTF is a breado? I was sitting at my desk repeatedly whispering "breado" to myself trying to figure it out. My co-workers were poised to call the men in white coats ... we only live 25 minutes from the provincial mental hospital so they could have come quickly. I sounded like I was playing that game where you repeatedly say a gibberish phrase until it makes sense (can't remember the name of the game offhand).

Suddenly it made sense!!!!

Breado ... breado ....BREADO ...BURRITO!!!!

She wanted a burrito.

*sigh*

I texted back ...A burrito? Yes you may.

I call myself Mom.

Winter Doldrums

Recently the weather had changed and most of our snow was gone. I was rejoicing, I had Spring Fever. I bought a new GPS, some scrambling books and topographic maps.... I was preparing for my spring/summer activities.

However, Old Man Winter (ohhhh how I'd love to chop his nads off, shove them where the sun don't shine and kick him repeatedly in the ass for good measure) decided to have another go at us. It snowed and snowed AND SNOWED yesterday. It was thick, sticky, wet snow. Then the temperature dropped so all the wet snow iced up underneath causing havoc on the roads. I was out shovelling at 10 PM because I am a good resident and I like to keep my sidewalks clear for those who walk on them.

Old Man Winter (the bastard), however, decided that the snow wasn't enough. Nooooooo, he had to send bitterly cold, gusting winds. Winds that steal your very breath the second you step outside. Winds that freeze uncovered skin numb in seconds. Winds that blew all the nicely shovelled snow all over, covering the clean sidewalks with drifts of spiteful snow. Winds that caused drifts to pile up on our roadways making driving a real treat. Winds that cause one to become very cranky, and VERY SICK OF WINTER.

I am sick of winter. Sick of the shovelling, the scraping, the freezing, the bundling... sick of the dirty white snow that litters the sides of our streets. I am sick of looking outside and seeing white, white BLAH WHITE.

I want color. I want to see buds on the trees. I want to see blue water and blue sky. I want to see lush green grass. I want to hear the birds chirping in the morning. I want to feel the sun beating in my window in the morning.

I WANT SPRING. DO YOU HEAR ME OLD MAN WINTER... GO AWAY!!!!!!

.... and sometimes I put make-up on just so I won't cry.

*sigh*

Disappointment

Recently I ordered a book on ebay about scrambling. Scrambling is the summiting of smaller mountains by hiking/climbing using hands & feet. This is an activity I would like to take up this year. I've been researching safety and courses I should take to ensure my safety. I've also found two books outlining various scrambles, access and egress to them in areas not far from where I live. I bought topographic maps and have been reacquainting myself with my orienteering skills just in case my GPS unit were to fail.

One of the two books outlining routes was the one I found on ebay for a good price, so I bought it. I have been waiting for it's arrival and today there was a parcel box key in my mail box. So with much anticipation I opened the mail box and found .....

...an empty envelope. I can see where it's been cut open. Why deliver an empty envelope?

I have contacted the seller regarding this because I have never encountered this problem in any ebay transaction before. Now I sit awaiting their reply. I have paid for a product I have not received, but who is the responsible party? I do know this, it will be a long time, if ever, that I shop on ebay again. I can't afford to be tossing my money away so someone else gets a free product.

Very disappointing.

PS: I have thought maybe customs however, they generally tape a pkg back together and make a note on the pkg so you know it was they who were into it. So I've ruled that out. The pkg was clearly marked as to what the contents were as well. Grrrrr

UPDATE: I received a response from the seller, they are as flabbergasted as I am and have never experienced this before either. I contacted Canada Post and the selller will contact USPS ... so hopefully something will be determined. I am not holding my breath. I made sure the seller knew that I did not blame them in anyway. I am disappointed however at the dishonest people that reside in our world, I have never understood how you can take what is not yours and live with yourself. I do hope they find the person/s responsible....isn't tampering with/stealing mail a federal offense?

Who Will I Be When I Die?

I have never claimed to understand where my thoughts go, or why they go where they do ... I just go with it...

Today I was laying in bed, happily anticipating the nap I was planning to have when my thoughts started swirling, and I wondered, "Who will I be when I die?"

Sounds silly doesn't it. I dissected my thoughts. What my inner self was really asking is, am I living my life the way I want to be remembered when I am gone. Am I treating people in a manner that they would truly miss me if I wasn't here? Am I someone who is making a positive impact/difference in the lives of others? Am I living up to my full potential? Do I practice kindness and humanity? Do I genuinely care about my world and those in it? Do I practice optimism as opposed to pessimism? Do I see the beauty and remember to stop and smell the roses? Do I take enough time to truly enjoy my world? Do I remember to breath...laugh...love? Am I truly living or just going through the motions, one minute at a time?

I wondered, will I be one of the ones whose demise causes those around them, those who knew and loved them to say with a smile, "Ahhh, she was one of the good ones, she will be missed." Or, will they speak in hushed whispers behind upheld hands "Not to speak ill of the dead...but..."

I want to be the first scenario. While I may not always succeed I try to be that person.

Who will you be when you die?

Feel Good Flowers

This picture never fails to make me smile, it is my wallpaper on my laptop for this reason. I took this picture last summer. It wasn't a planned photo, it was one that just happened when I was fooling around waiting for my buddy to finish shooting the pics he was taking. It has, however, become one of my favorites.

As I sit here feeling Spring Fever set in... feeling so sick of the cold weather, overcast days and dirty snow, this picture can lighten my mood. It reminds me that summer is right around the corner. Spring, the season of rebirth and growth is even closer. Soon buds will be emerging and springing forth with their blooms.

This picture also reminds me that sometimes the most beautiful, most treasured things in our lives are those that are not planned. They just happen.

Rejoice in the beauty of your life today.

LITERARY AGENT - CAN YOU HELP?

A member of my writing group is currently travelling in the US looking for a legitimate literary agent.

Since we are all only six degrees away from any one person in this world I thought I'd put this out there. I figure someone has to know an agent.

He is a very talented writer, engaging and humorous and he deserves to be given a chance. He has several novels written and is now chasing his dream. I, and I know he will appreciate any suggestions you can offer.

If you would like to see a sampling of his writing please visit www.writers-ink.net , he is the featured writer there, Ken Kanten. If you wish to contact him please email me at fnygrl68@telus.net and I will forward on to him then he can reply directly to you.

Thank you in advance.

A Child's Plea

I don't usually share anything I've written on here (aside from my random blog posts which ARE written by me, I'm sure you know what I mean), but a member of my writer's group encouraged me to post this one so I am. I was inspired to write this after hearing the verdict of Penny Boudreau, the mother who killed her daughter, Karissa, in Bridgewater, NS.

This is by no means Karissa's story, it is written for all children who suffer at the hands of those who are supposed to love and care for them. It is written in the hopes that some day children will not know this sort of evil. Rest In Peace Karissa.

************************************************************************************

A Child’s Plea

When I was in utero
You smoked and drank and used
It all affected me
It hurt
I cried
“Mommy don’t…”

When I was an infant
You ignored my cries
Leaving me all alone
I was frightened and insecure
I cried
“Mommy don’t …”

When I was a toddler
You were not patient
You yelled and
You struck
It hurt
I felt unloved and unwanted
I cried
“Mommy don’t …”

As I got older
Your indifference grew
Displeasure a frequent visitor to your face
Love you did not show
I was a burden
No place for me in your world
A growth you had to remove
As you tightened the twine around my neck
I cried
Tears rolled down my face in a silent, heartfelt
Plea
“Mommy don’t …Please don’t”


Copyright © JLChristman
Jan 31/09
1320

**Inspired by the murder of Karissa Boudreau, Bridgewater, NS**

Positive vs Negative

Yesterday I slept in BADLY!!! Normally on a work day I am up by 05:00ish. I like the quiet time. The time to sit and procrastinate and dawdle enjoy my coffee whilst reading my newspapers online. It is a time that is all mine, usually. However,yesterday when I opened my eyes at the sound of an incessant beeping I realized it was 0705. The beeping I heard was my daughter's alarm clock!! YIKES!!!!

Since I normally leave the house at 07:30 in order to be at work by 08:00 I was panicked. My old self would have been mad, I would have allowed this event to set the course for my day. That was my old self though, I am working on becoming a better, more zen person. So I took a deep breath and decided that I was going to turn that negative into a positive, I made it into a personal challenge. Would I be able to get ready and be at work on time???

I had a shower (albeit quick, but I can't function without one), drank my coffee on the run, threw my lunch and supper together, whipped up a to-go breaky, kissed the girls and ran out the door.

I made it to work at only 1 minute late!!!

I'm finding that I am turning negatives into positives more and more lately. When I first began this journey it took conscious effort to do... now I find myself doing it with no thought at all. I am much happier and much more stress free.

Life is good!!

What do you do with the negatives in your life?