Monday, May 26, 2008

Cold Burger...Dirty Bathroom

I haven't really blogged lately. Working 12 hour days and then going home to try to spend a bit of time with my girls before it's bedtime doesn't leave a lot of time for blogging, or other Mommy pursuits for that matter. But it's my life and I like it, for the most part.

I did however make an astonishing discovery this past week. I took my ladies to Dairy Queen for supper (it was movie/treat night...a rather unexpected one but fun nonetheless). We waited forever to have our order taken, I mean I know that having FIFTY people behind the till for the whole 5 people waiting to order was probably a stretch on man resources. When we were finally able to order we went and found a table at which we sat while awaiting our food.

Of course, my bladder being what it is, decided that I needed to pee ...NOW!!!! Bathroom... STAT... do NOT pass go.... find the toilet go go GOOOOOOO. As I was getting up to make the dreaded trek to the public washroom ( I hate public washrooms) my youngest decides she has to go too. So off we went.

We entered the den of horrific-ness and I was aghast!!! There were small scraps of toilet paper all over the floor, I didn't inspect too closely to see whether or not they had been used, I just assumed and skirted around them. I instructed my daughter to do the same. Not to mention the lovely icky public bathroom smell. So as I hovered above the seat I was instructing my young'un to make sure she triple... no, quadruple layered the paper on the seat before sitting down (she hasn't mastered the hover yet).

As I positioned myself in front of the sink to wash my hands I was about to admire my stellar beauty in the mirror, however found that I was unable to. The mirror was smokey looking and spotted with water marks. The sink, well it was disgusting, picture a tub in a house full of 25 men, and it's never been cleaned .... yeah that was the sink. You could see finger paint marks in the grime where someone had obviously tried to decide whether it was dirt or sink and then left it. We hurriedly completed our business and went back to the table .... sooooo SOOOO GROSS!!!

When our food came the burgers were cold, cheese unmelted, although, my burger was cooked to well done as per my specifications; the fries were tough and chewy, the pop was set with carbonated water levels too high/syrup too low, but the onion rings were piping hot.

Kids wanted to know, wasn't I going to complain. No, in fact I was not. I really saw no point.

There was not an adult to be seen in the place aside from the patrons in the restaurant part.

You see, I discovered that our fast food restaurants have been taken over by pimply faced, squeaky voiced high school students and really, they don't care about customer service. They are merely there putting in their time. They are more concerned with gossiping/flirting amongst themselves and could really care less about taking a food order. It's almost like a school yard, with small clusters of students here and there. And when there are no adults around to guide them ... what else can we expect.

Cold burgers, filthy bathrooms and long huffing sighs accompanied by glares when heaven forbid we actually ask them to do their jobs.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008


Remember the geese, the pretty geese, from my previous entry

They are kind of peaceful to look at aren't they?

What I failed to show you, however, was this guy:

This guy here, he's the a-hole of geese.
He's the arrogant, goose jock.

He locks the weaker geese in their goose lockers and gives them goose wedgies.

He certainly does not share well, in fact ....when I was feeding the geese bread crumbs to get them closer so I could snap photos of them, he was very rude to the other geese. I wanted to spank his wee goose bum and send him to goosie time out. Here he is, waiting for the crumb

Ohhhh yeah this is good!

But wait... look behind the AJG (arrogant, Jock Goose), do you see it in the water. Let's watch and see what happens.

We heard there's some food here.... look out crumbs here we come.

Mmmmm, this is good...

ohhhhh nooooooo, AJG has spotted you.... RUN!!!!!

Shoo, Scram...Skedaddle!!!! Get out of here, this is MY food.... MINE I tell you!

And just so you don't forget I'm gonna chomp you in the tail feathers.

Now beat it... don't let me catch 'round these parts again.

Let me leave you with this final thought...
This guy.... this guy right here:

Yeah, him

He might look pretty, he may strut his stuff with all his goosie gander confidence, but remember...he's an AJG. He has the mind of an eagle, the stealth of a peregrine falcon and the cunning of a vulture. He is not to be trusted!!! Whatever you do, just walk away. Don't look him in the eye.

He's evil I tell ya... evil!!!

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

It Was a Beautiful Night

The weather was gorgeous here today, so I decided that I wanted to have a wiener roast. I called up my friend Rachel to see if she wanted to join us.

She did...

The girls came in handy for collecting firewood...

Hurry... Don't take too long!! HEY quit texting... you are supposed to be gathering wood!

Ahhhhh, finally, here they come. Oooops you dropped one, pick it up!

What good wood gatherers!!

Rachel built a good fire.

We had hot dogs and s'mores.... MMMMMMMM

That's Tucco on the right there.

He only has three legs due to an accident when he was a puppy.

Tucco REALLY likes playing with Montana.

This is Montana.

She likes to play with Tucco.

She's also a pretty good kid. I love her.

Go get it Tucco!!!!!

Tucco loves fetching from the water!!

Speaking of water, look what else was in the water....

It was a great evening!!!! We were all so very glad that I had the idea to go to the pond and have a wienie roast!
A great time was had by all ....

Good friends


Beautiful girls

Couldn't ask for more

We left with full bellies and smiles!!!!!!
Saying "We'll do this again soon"

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

I've Been Thinking....

Over the last couple of days I've been thinking of pet peeves, and I've discovered that I have a LOT of them!!

For instance, just now I answered the phone at work. I took all the pertinent information and was proceeding to wind down the call. Just as I was going to say "good bye, have a nice day" the caller wound back up and starting yakity yak yak yakkin' about schat that I really didn't care about.

Everytime I tried to interject with a polite comment followed by a "good bye, have a nice day" he kept talking. And talking. AND TALKING!!!!

My "in-my-head-voice" was screaming SHUT UP, STOP TALKING.... SSSSHHHHUUUUUUTTTTT UUUUUUPPPPPPPP !!!!! FFFFFAAAAAAKKKKKK !!!! Apparently it would be frowned upon if I were to interrupt and say, "Excuse me, but could you please just shut the eff up?" I don't know why, I think some people need this kick in the chompers so that they become aware of the rambling idiot that they are. I view it as being akin to holding a mirror up in front of Mimi and saying "Girl you look like a clown" ... WHAAAAT this is frowned upon too ??? Damn PC crap.... *sigh* OK, I'll put up with the nonsense and continue with my "in-my-head" conversations, but seriously, if my inner bitch ever escapes, I am not responsible.

*Deep cleansing breath*... I guess what I'm trying to say is this: when making professional phone calls, please, for the love of God and all that's holy, just say what you have to say and then carry on your merry little way.

I can almost guarantee you that the person on the other end doesn't give two schats about your nonsensical ramble.

Good bye, have a nice day!!

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Flaming Lunch

I went to pick up some lunch on Sunday. The young lad who helped when I arrived never fails to make me smile. He is FLAMINGLY gay, in fact I think, judging by his manner and mode of dress, he flaunts it. And good on him for doing so and being true to who he is!

He had his hair all pushed up so that it stood flamboyantly up from the top of his head. The top (tips) dyed platinum and the base ebony black. I'm pretty sure he had a light lining of black along his lower lids, although he could have just been blessed with that "look" I'm not 100% sure. He is so gregarious in his greetings and general conversation. Animated and lively, hands gesturing wildly as he talks.

His dress today comprised of a shimmering black/grey/white billowy blouse type shirt and a pair of snug, buttock hugging polyester pants. His belt accentuating his boy hips, well actually, he has more of a girlish figure on the bottom half than a lot of women do these days. Frankly, I'm a bit jealous, he has a very tight ass, perfectly heart shaped that blend into legs any woman would kill for. Top the outfit off with some lovely low heeled boots that I am sure only served to exaggerate the sway of his hips when he glided to the kitchen, he truly glided, any catwalk would be proud to host his presence. He doesn't walk, or just merely glide, the boy sashays!

His skin flawless, teeth perfectly white showcased by his enormous smile. A sedate metallic blue half loop adorned his left ear and a couple of silver rings took up residence on his slender fingers. George Costanza's hands would have been put to shame by the set this particular lad has been blessed with.

I don't really know why I felt the need to blog about this. Other than he makes me smile everytime I go in there. He truly enjoys what he does. Most importantly he is uber comfortable with who he is, he has his own sense of style and he wears it well! His place of employ should count their lucky stars that he works there, he only adds to the ambiance.

Some days it doesn't take much to amuse me, or to take up residence in my head.

Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to all you mothers out there.

Mother's day is bittersweet for me. It's a day that my children want to pamper and spoil me, yet it's also a day that I feel the loss of my own mother so acutely I just want to curl up in the fetal position, alone in the dark until the day is over. Out of love for my own children I resist this urge.

They say the pain of loss lessens with time, and in some ways it does. In others not so much, on special days that pain remains the same.

Perhaps it's because I guilt myself over past transgressions, I wasn't always the best daughter. I'm sure my Mom knew though that no matter how disrespectful I ever got that I loved and admired her above all else.

She was a strong woman, yet she was soft in all the ways that mattered. I can remember her laying with me on my bed, gently stroking my head when I was ill or frightened by a nightmare. It was she who gave up so much so that my brother and I could have all the experiences that our youth offered us. She was the epitome of patience and understanding. She was exactly what a mother is meant to be...she truly was there for me no matter what, no matter the time of day, no matter that I might not live at home anymore. She had the meaning of unconditional love down to a fine art form.

It was she who taught me how to be strong in the face of adversity. How to make lemonade when life hands you lemons. How to laugh at the bumps in this road we call life. How to have courage when you are scared shitless. How to face your fears with your head held high. How to give of yourself. Many of her lessons were not intended, they just were because of who she was. She truly led by example.

So as much as my heart constricts with tears yet to be shed, on this day I will embrace the love of my children and appreciate every moment I am given (after I get home from work of course). I will cherish memories held in my heart and anticipate those yet to be made.

For anyone who has ever lost their Mom, look to the sky, feel the sun upon your face and the breeze in your hair today.... it is her kiss and caress. If you have your Mother with you, call her/visit her, let her know how much she is loved. Anyone who has ever had a child and given it up so that a better life would be had, take a moment today... you ARE a mother and you too know the meaning of sacrifice and unconditional love.

To ALL the Mother's across this land and beyond... HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!!!

Happy Mother's Day to my Mom.... I love you and miss you every day.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Big Shiny Trucks

Today I had to leave work for a few minutes to go take my youngest child home from an activity she had attended. Naturally, I was in a wee bit of a hurry as I didn't want to miss too much work. Maybe I was speeding just a teeny bit, but I was totally focused, eyes darting left and right and back again, mirror check, lane change...GO!

I stopped quickly at the bank to grab some cash, just in case the youngster wanted to buy a book (she did, they were over priced, I still have cash in my wallet). As I pulled out of the bank a big, shiny, black done up to the balls truck whizzed around the corner, trapping me in the far right hand lane (read turn lane grrrrrr). I sped up, he sped up. I put my signal on, he sped up. Light turned red, had to stop. Penis extension, I mean, shiny black truck pulls up beside me. I'm trying to see past him to gauge oncoming traffic, he inches forward.

By this time I'm thinking OK DICKHEAD, just cuz God gave ya one doesn't mean ya have to be one. He has this damn winch on the front of his shiny black truck, sticking out from the polished chrome bumper and his inching forward has totally blinded my view to the left.

I am livid by this point. I slowly inch out then figure EFF IT, I'm already out there, so I turn. Cut through the grocery store parking lot and get back out to where I need to be ... ahead of Richard Cranium I might add ... cuz that's important.

I get to where I need to be and there's not a parking place to be had. Who has a plant sale AND a writing seminar/book sale for kids on the same freaken day!!!!! THINK people !!!! For the love of God... THINK.

Finally get the kid, take her home and arrive back at work. As I'm reliving this particular experience I am left to wonder:

-are there certain people for whom a gas pedal is an option?

-how about signal lights...are there models in which they don't exist?

-why do short men suffering from little man syndrome feel the need to buy the biggest, baddest, most tricked out pick-up they can find and proceed to be the biggest ass on the road? Do they think it makes them more appealing to the opposite sex? Cuz I have news for them ... really.

-why do I see the hottest guy I've seen in a while when I have my youngest tagging along and I have to hurry back to work (read cannot strike up a flirty conversation). Helloooooo Murphy.... you're killin' me here!!!!!

-why when I'm in a hurry does time seem to stand still and not move?

These are things I wonder about today.

Friday, May 9, 2008


We all like to hear that we've done a good job, or someone has enjoyed something that we've created whether it be art, food, a story... it is just damn nice to know what you do is appreciated.

Tonight I arrived home from work to find an email from a hometown friend. In her email she told me how she'd spent much of her day reading through my blog. She went on to tell me how much she'd enjoyed it, singling out a few posts. She told me that I am an amazing writer and she wants more.

It warmed my heart to have this type of feedback. I mean, I type an entry and post it. Unless there are comments left by those who have read it, I am left to wonder whether or not anyone has seen it. If they did, was it enjoyed? Will they come back.

I think any type of artist, anyone who creates and then puts themselves out there by sharing their creation with others needs validation. We are fragile egos... artists. We need positive feedback, we need affirmation that we have done a good thing. Yet we would never ask for it. It is scary to share, but if you don't share what's the point of creating.

Thank you Chelle! Your words meant more than you could possibly know. They have encouraged me to be more proactive in my blogging. I may not always be interesting, but you, knowing me personally know how offbeat and zany I can be, will not be surprised by anything that comes out of my noodle.

In a world where negative commentaries are the norm ...positive feedback is a rarity. So I challenge you all to take a moment and give some positive feedback to someone, even if it's a stranger, even if it's a clerk at the store...a little encouragement can go a long way. You may never know the power of your words, but trust me when I say those words can go a long way to making someones day!

Thursday, May 8, 2008


I volunteer at my local hospital on my days off. One of the gentlemen that I have had the pleasure to visit and spend time with is quite up there in years. I adore listening to stories of days gone by, of simpler, less hasty times. I like hearing how his family immigrated here, the hardships faced and joys realized. It was during one of these visits that we discussed literature.

I mentioned that one of my all time favorite pieces was the following:
~~Cremation of Sam McGee~~

There are strange things done in the midnight sun.

By the men who moil for gold;
The Arctic trails have their secret tales
That would make your blood run cold;
The Northern Lights have seen queer sights,
But the queerest they ever did see
Was that night on the marge of Lake Lebarge
I cremated Sam McGee.

Now Sam McGee was from Tennessee, where the cotton blooms and

Why he left his home in the South to roam 'round the Pole, God only
He was always cold, but the land of gold seemed to hold him like a
Though he'd often say in his homely way that "he'd sooner live in hell."

On a Christmas Day we were mushing our way over the Dawson trail.

Talk of your cold! Through the parka’s fold it stabbed like a driven nail.
If our eyes we'd close, then the lashes froze till sometimes we couldn't
It wasn't much fun, but the only one to whimper was Sam McGee.

And that very night, as we lay packed tight in our robes beneath the

And the dogs were fed, and the stars o'erhead were dancing heel and
He turned to me, and "Cap," says he, "I'll cash in this trip, I guess;
And if I do, I'm asking that you won't refuse my last request."

Well, he seemed so low that I couldn't say no;
then he says with a sort
of moan;
"It’s the cursed cold, and it’s got right hold till I'm chilled clean through
to the bone.
Yet 'taint being dead - it’s my awful dread of the icy grave that pains;
So I want you to swear that, foul or fair, you'll cremate my last

A pal’s last need is a thing to heed, so I swore I would not fail;

And we started on at the streak of dawn; but God! He looked ghastly
He crouched on the sleigh, and he raved all day of his home in
And before nightfall a corpse was all that was left of Sam McGee.

There wasn't a breath in that land of death, and I hurried, horror-

With a corpse half hid that I couldn't get rid, because of a promise
It was lashed to the sleigh, and it seemed to say: "You may tax your
brawn and brains,
But you promised true, and it’s up to you to cremate these last remains."

Now a promise made is a debt unpaid,
and the trail has its own stern
In the days to come, though my lips were dumb, in my heart how I
cursed that load.
In the long, long night, by the lone firelight, while the huskies, round in a
ring,Howled out their woes to the homeless snows - O God! How I loathed
the thing.

And every day that quiet clay seemed to heavy and heavier grow;

And on I went, though the dogs were spent and the grub was getting
The trail was bad, and I felt half mad, but I swore I would not give in;
And I'd often sing to the hateful thing, and it hearkened with a grin.

Till I came to the marge of Lake Lebarge,
and a derelict there lay;
It was jammed in the ice, but I saw in a trice it was called the "Alice
And I looked at it, and I thought a bit, and I looked at my frozen chum;
Then "Here," said I with a sudden cry, "is my cre-ma-tor-eum."

Some planks I tore from the cabin floor, and I lit the boiler fire;

Some coal I found that was lying around, and I heaped the fuel higher;
The flames just soared, and the furnace roared - such a blaze you
seldom see;
And I burrowed a hole in the glowing coal, and I stuffed in Sam McGee.

Then I made a hike, for I didn't like to hear him sizzle so;

And the heavens scowled, and the huskies howled, and the wind began
to blow.
It was icy cold, but the hot sweat rolled down my cheeks, and I don't
know why;
And the greasy smoke in an inky cloak went streaking down the sky.

I do not know how long in the snow I wrestled with grisly fear;

But the stars came out and they danced about ere again I ventured
I was sick with dread, but I bravely said: "I'll just take a peep inside.
I guess he’s cooked, and it’s time I looked"... then the door I opened

And there sat Sam, looking cool and calm, in the heart of the furnace

And he wore a smile you could see a mile, and he said: "Please close
that door.
It’s fine in here, but I greatly fear you'll let in the cold and storm -
Since I left Plumtree, down in Tennessee, it’s the first time I've been warm."

There are strange things done in the midnight sun

By the men who moil for gold;
The Arctic trails have their secret tales
That would make your blood run cold;
The Northern Lights have seen queer sights,
But the queerest they ever did see
Was that night on the marge of Lake Lebarge
I cremated Sam McGee.

~~Robert W Service ~~
~January 16, 1874 - September 11, 1958

This gentleman sat there in his chair and began to recite this in it's entirety. He never stumbled, he never waivered. Not once did he need to pause to search his memory. If I hadn't been sitting there in person I'd have wondered if he was reading it, so fluent was his recital.

I have never had a man recite poetry of any type to me. This was a very special moment, one that I shall cherish forever.

This was recited to me not for personal gain , certainly not to show off, it was done for pure pleasure. It was done because I mentioned that it was one of my favorite pieces. It was done as a gift, given freely from the heart.

I love my volunteering, it is so rewarding in more ways than one. I have found many treasures on my volunteering travels, but I don't think any have touched me in quite the way this one did.

The next time someone passes off an elderly person as just being old, remember this ...remember this man reciting a long ballad from memory, fluently and completely. The elderly are a treasure trove of information, but rarely is it accessed as the young are too busy. I feel blessed to have found the time.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Finally, my drooling and dreaming have paid off...

On this past set of days off I treated myself to something that I have been coveting for a very long time. It will enable me to explore my creative side, to realize an idea that has been taking shape in my mind for almost as long as I've wanted this item.

What is it you ask...well just feast your eyes on this bad boy:

I also picked up a 55-200 lens and my next need want is a macro lens.

I have been driving my kids nuts following them around taking photos...

This child didn't mind having her photo taken .....repeatedly, in fact she was more than happy to pose for me; well, sometimes she was snapped without her knowledge:

Then there is this child:

Clearly overjoyed NOT happy at having her photo taken.


When she smiles she is stunning!

And sometimes....
She doesn't know I'm taking her picture.
Even our cat Charlie got into the game...
I believe the cat is rolling his eyes at me...get used to it Charlie!!! I'll be a snapping fool!!

I took my new toy to Calgary when we attended our friend's baby's first birthday party, which turned out to be very fortuitous as their camera decided not to work. I snapped over 150 photos of that sweet baby .... overkill you only turn ONE once.
Besides, tell me you could have resisted this:

or this...

And finally, tell me seriously that you could resist this ...

Happy Birthday Sweet AL, you future Diva you!!!

I foresee many, MANY hours playing with my new toy. I am so excited!

Saturday, May 3, 2008

I have become ....*gasp* all those women before me...

I went shopping for some new pants recently.

Now I have to be realistic. I have gained a bit of weight since I quit smoking 8 months ago; but yay me on not smoking haha. This weight seems to think it's taken up permanent residence on my hips and ass; however, I have a newsflash for it .... YOUR DAYS ON THIS BOD ARE NUMBERED. That being said, it still sucks to try to find pants right now.

When I was younger I HAD to have the tightest fitting jeans EVER. I can remember my Dad lamenting "they show every crack in your body", and my Mom, "nice girls wear pants like these (as she handed me a pair of baggy Pulse jeans with the beautiful white piping down the side)". I didn't care what showed, or what "nice" girls wore, I was comfortable. The legs didn't twist, the pants didn't shift or ride up into nether regions in which they didn't belong, and I knew they sure as hell weren't going to fall off!

I still like my jeans snug, perhaps it's my middle-age rebellion, my personal denial if you will... but dammit, weight gain and tight jeans do not make good companions (read cottage cheese stuffed into too small sausage casing). And WHEN did I start to bloat after a dinner... bring on the Beano, my jeans aren't comfy!!

So, here I am slowly filling my closet with "middle age" wear. Baggier, softer, less rigid pants in muted hues. In fact, I've decided the baggier the better. They are comfy!!! I can move, I can sit and breathe...I can eat large meals in a single bound and not pop a button!! What more could a gal ask for.

I'm sure once I'm down to my svelte self I'll be back in my snug jeans ... but for now ... fat, middle-age wear rocks.

Screw middle-age anorexia or bulemia, I like my food too much and barfing.... well ewwwww, 'nuff said. Bring on the fat pants.... oh, and pass the fries would ya?