Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Sugar and Spice ...and Everything "Not so Nice"

My youngest daughter phoned me at work the other day to let me know she was home. We chatted briefly about her day as I wasn't overly busy. In amongst the general ramble she casually says:

"Oh, I found slugs in my backpack."

I thought I had heard wrong, "Slugs... is that what you just said?"

"Yes, I found slugs in the bottom of my backpack."

I had to go as work beckoned, however I had slugs on the brain. I was horrified. Slugs.... in Alberta ??WTH?? I couldn't focus, all I could think about was the slimy grossness in the bottom of her backpack, that was IN MY HOUSE!!!!

I quickly dialed home, "Get that backpack out of my house!!! I don't want those things in my house!!!"

"Where should I put it?"

"I don't care, anywhere but in the house" I was thinking the trash, the neighbors yard, the box of the truck across the street...frankly I didn't care as long as it was outside.

Then a thought occurred to me.

"Did you leave food in your backpack??"

"Nooooooo" (giggle)

"Welllllll, maybe I lost a banana and my orange in there." (more giggles)

I'm fairly certain my jaw hit my desk as I shook my head.

"You LOST fruit in your backpack?" How the hell does one lose food in their backpack? How do you lose anything in a backpack?

"Uummm, yeah"

"Are you sure it's not worms?"

"I dunno, it's slugs"

"What do they look like?"

"Well they were moving and they are green and black"

I choke back a gag.

"Did you empty your backpack?"

"NOOOOO!!!! I'm not touching that"

I take a deep breath, "Well, I'm not touching it either. I suggest you take your things out of it. I will buy a new one on the way home."

A meek little voice answers, "oooook... I have to go now"

A short while later my phone rang.

"We got my stuff out and guess what we discovered Mom?"

I was stuck on the "we" part... had my child been so traumatized by this ordeal that she'd developed multiple personalities? As far as I knew she was home alone. So I bravely asked the question, "Who's "we"?"

"My friend from down the street. He came over and looked in my backpack, and took my stuff out for me."

Ahhh, and so we see that the act of seeking out a member of the male species to deal with the nasty jobs seems to be ingrained in us female types from birth. AAAAWWWWWW, how cute, she didn't want to touch the icky stuff so she phoned a boy.

But I digress...

"But Mom, guess what we discovered"

"What did you discover?" I cringed as I awaited the answer, not sure that I really wanted to know.

"There were no slugs in my backpack"

"Hmmmm, no slugs ... that's good..but what was in there?"

"My smooshed up banana hahahah, it was really slimy Mom!" She's laughing now.

"Ohhhhh", big sigh of relief ... Thank God it wasn't slugs or worms. (shudder)

We hung up and I finished my day. I kept smiling to myself as I thought, yep, my lil tomboy isn't so tough after all!! When it comes to gross, nasty, icky stuff she's all girl.

I came home to find yellow rubber gloves in my garbage can. I asked where they came from. Well didn't her friend take them from his Mom's kitchen to wear while he poked through her backpack; I had a chuckle at the visual that came to mind. I could almost see two little kids poking gingerly through a backpack thought to contain slugs. Gasping and jumping, screeching and laughing.

Ohhhhh to be young again!

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