Saturday, June 7, 2008

Internet Dating

I was a member (until very recently) of an online dating site. It was the only totally free dating site out there, supposedly. This would mean I received exactly what I "paid" for and it also explains the clientele. When I first joined I was quite excited, thinking that it would be a good way to "shop" around and weed out the jerks. WRONG!!!

While it does offer variety and selection, it also allows the wolves to pose more cunningly in the sheeps clothing. It is easier for those who have bad intentions to lure the unsuspecting. I discovered that it doesn't really matter how smart you believe yourself to be either, you can still be taken for a ride so very easily.

I am fairly picky selective in my choices for dating having had enough poor choices in my past. I think I'm fairly street smart, and I classify myself as a good judge of character. I have discovered that being a good judge of character means nothing when dealing with "masks" worn by those online.

People who claim to be looking for "long term" love really aren't. They are looking to see how many they can string along. They will talk to and show interest in someone until they come across a profile that seems to offer something more (most profiles are purposely deceptive in some way to lure people to contact it's author)... bringing us to the age old question "is the grass greener"? I think online dating is akin to turning a small child loose in a candy store full of all the candies of the world and telling him to choose just one.

I've gone on my share of dates, most of them were duds. I've made some really good friends from that site, both female and male. However, yesterday I deleted my profile.

I deleted it because I'm so tired of the energy that it takes from me, the hurt it inflicts on me time and again, and yes I know I probably set myself up for those hurts because I care too much, I'm too soft on the inside and I suppose, to be honest, I wear my heart on my sleeve. But HOW does one stop being themselves. I also admit that I have walls up as a protective mechanism, and letting them down is the most scary thing ever. The other day....the other day I stepped out of my comfort zone, I bared my heart and soul...and now I feel the fool.

Why do people tell others that they are interested, they really like them, they want to pursue things...they text and call often, they make future plans and then.... then they just fall off the face of the earth. There is no "ending" conversation, no reason given. They just suddenly quit taking your calls, quit responding to messages...they just cease to be.

Is it too much to ask that people who participate in online dating retain a modicum of their humanity. Is it too much to ask that they treat others with respect and courtesy. Is it too much to ask that they tell the other person they are not interested, for whatever reason, ESPECIALLY after spending much time talking and plan making. Is it too much to ask?

I became tired of the constant game playing, the dishonesty...basically the garbage dump of online dating destroyed any desire I have to date at this point. No one seems to be looking for long term, monogamous relationships anymore. We truly have become a throw away society, and now we have included our hearts and souls in the expendable pile.

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