You Know What ...Eff You and Your Crappy Attitude Too

In my line of work I deal with a lot of different people on any given day. Most of the people I speak to are men. Men who work in a very macho industry. Men who should be able to buck up, suck up and carry on. However, they are among the whiniest, pickiest, bitchiest group of people I have encountered.

When I am taking a message for my co-workers I strive to obtain as much information as possible so that a) the person receiving the message can be fully prepared when returning the call and b) the person making the request is being given the best service possible.

It really frustrates me when I am given a healthy dose of assholism when I ask for a last name, a phone number, reason for calling, etc. Why is it so hard for people to be polite and professional when conducting business. Why do these so called men throw kindergarten style tantrums when they can't have what they want right this second? Why do they ALL seem to think that they are the only customer we have, that they are the end all and be all to our business existence? I mean really, they can correct rectal cranial inversion can't they?

Example:

"I'm sorry they are on the phone right now may I take a message and have them return your call??

"*big sigh* ... I suppose it's blah blah with blah blah blah."

"May I have your last name please"

"It's the same as it was yesterday."

*silence* on my end

"You have no come back for that"

"No sir I don't. They like me to get last names when I take a message"

"Well my last name is too long, it gets butchered so I will just use my first name"

"Ok thank you, have a nice day."

*last name... same as yesterday... ok DICKHEAD it is*

Some days I WISH I could just say the retorts that pop into my head when these guys let their inner asshole roam wild and free. Why... WHY must I keep my inner bitch locked up and piped down? Perhaps someday, when I no longer see the need for employment I will unleash her and let her have her way....*rubbing hands together in glee and giggling* YEEEESSSSSSSS that's what I will do!

I try, really I do, to see things from their perspective. Unfortunately I have not yet been successful at shoving my own head that far up my ass.

Some days leaving it all behind and moving to the top of a mountain, deep in the bush ... away from people, and shooting whoever trespasses into my serenity is attractive.

Role Reversal ... Almost

I alluded to my Dad a couple of blog posts ago. When I went home it wasn't really a planned trip, my Dad had fallen ill and ended up in the hospital. However, we (my Brother and I) didn't know he was in the hospital; we I found out quite by accident.

While my daughters were visiting their father in my hometown they were going to visit their Grandpa (my Dad). On a Thursday night my oldest daughter called to let me know that they couldn't get a hold of Grandpa. It was 10 PM so I thought it was a bit odd, but maybe he'd gone out (he doesn't normally go out late in the evening but I didn't want to panic). I tried calling for about another 45 minutes and was still getting no answer. I went to bed with an uneasy feeling.

I got up in the morning, got ready and headed out to work. I didn't want to call too early in case he was sleeping so I tried at nine. Still no answer... at this point I was very concerned. Concerned enough to call my Brother who was camping.

He hadn't heard from Dad and although we knew he was planning to take a trip to Manitoba we were both fairly certain he wouldn't have left early without telling us. By this time I was in tears because I had visions of my Dad lying helpless on the floor and no one was there. Neither one of us could remember the last name of the neighbor who has a key to Dad's house, without the last name we couldn't look up the phone number so that we could call them. We decided that I'd phone an old family friend to see if she knew anything; if she was a dead end my Brother would drive to the city as he was camping near by.

I took a small break and went to a private office to make the call. Our family friend answered her phone and I explained why I was calling and asked if she had heard from or spoken to my Dad recently.

There was a slight pause on the other end of the phone. I did not like that pause.

She let out a big sigh and said, "Oh, Jennifer, your Dad is in the hospital."

"WWWWHHHHAAATTTTT!!!!!!!!" What do you mean he's in the hospital..why is he in the hospital. WHY DIDN'T ANYONE CALL US????????

She explained that while he'd been in the hospital since Tuesday night she herself had only found out by accident on Thursday. Apparently her sister was working on my Dad's ward, saw him and then called our family friend to let her know. Of course L (family friend) went up to visit him and he told her not to call us as I was on my week on and my Brother was camping. He figured since he was on the mend and would be discharged in the next day or two it was a moot point.

Duhhhhhh, HELLO DAD??!!!! You are more important than work and camping.

Then I was mad. He and my Mother had kept stuff from us when she was ill, with the idea that they were protecting us (we were both well in adulthood by this time). My Brother and I had spoke to them and asked them to please keep us informed when there are serious health issues. We are a big boy and girl who can take the information. So needless to say I was FRUSTRATED at finding out that he was in the hospital, had been for days and we didn't know.

I immediately called my Brother who called the hospital and talked to my Dad. Dad was ok, in pain but on the mend. He had driven himself to the hospital when he was struck with an acute pancreatic attack. He figured they'd give him something for the pain and send him home, so typically old school male. This was not the case, they saw his enzyme levels and admitted him.

Of course he did not have our phone numbers with him. He phoned his neighbor who went in the house but could not find our numbers. Hence, no phone call to either one of us.

Needless to say, as soon as I found out I decided to go home on my next set of days off ( I am fortunate to work 7 then get 7 off). I had to see for myself that he was ok.

He was and is. He is on meds that are helping.

While I was there I wrote my name and my Brothers name on a piece of paper with large "IN CASE OF EMERGENCY CALL:" then I had my Dad put it in his wallet, while I watched. I recently sent him a different cell phone because I had noticed the display on his was fubar'd. Prior to sending it I entered my numbers and my Brothers numbers in it, they are preceded by ICE (in case of emergency) meaning that they will be the first numbers shown in the address book should something ever happen that we need to be contacted.

So here we are at today and my Dad is travelling to Manitoba. Since he was ill I have called him EVERY day, sometimes twice a day to check on him. I toyed with the idea of quitting my job here and moving back to my hometown to be near by, but quickly kaiboshed that plan when I remembered how much I detest that place. He was under strict instructions to phone as soon as he arrived so that we would not worry, while I was typing this he called. He is there.

Funny how our parents become people of concern to us as they age, and we almost take on a parental role without realizing it. My Dad is still fully able to care for himself, he is after all a young 67, but ... when I look at him... he's not my big strong Daddy anymore. He seems somewhat more fragile now.

Maybe it's because I lost my Mom four years ago and my greatest fear is to lose my Dad. Maybe it's because he has seemed to age before my eyes. Maybe it's because I saw the toll this incident took on him .... I'm not sure.

My Dad is amazing. He has taught me so much and I have much yet to learn from him.

Pets

I've heard it said that when we have pets they tend to "resemble" their owners in some way. I've seen photos of dogs that look like their owners in various ways, or perhaps it's their owners resembling their pets?? Meh, potato ...potahto. I once knew a woman who had a small poodle, her hair was always tightly permed and she really did look like her dog... weird.

We have a cat named Charlie. Charlie is Himalayan and absolutely gorgeous. However,like us all, Charlie has a few faults. He is slightly cross eyed, I have an astigmatism; he has really big paws, I have feet leaning to the larger size. Actually, I want to mention that Charlie seems to have an extra "toe" on each of his paws, I have no extra toes. He also walks "heavy". You can seriously hear this cat walk, I have been told that I walk like an elephant. When his nails get too long he sounds like he's wearing kitty stilettos, I don't wear stilettos. Charlie meows quietly, I am not so quiet. Charlie purrs on occasion, so do I.

Whatever his short comings, Charlie is a great pet wonderful addition to our family. We love him dearly, and we couldn't imagine life without him.

Going Home

I've been away. I went home because my Dad was under the weather, although he is on the mend now. I will blog more about my Dad in another entry, I am still polishing what I want to say.

While I was at home I saw my son!! So exciting. Look here he is:

Isn't he handsome!

He came over and had dinner with us at my Dad's. We had a good visit. We talked, we cleared the air somewhat. I have a better understanding of what's on his mind, he has a better understanding of what's on mine.

I am still heartbroken that he is moving to Vancouver Island, but I understand that it is something he has to do. It is a part of his growing experience. Now I have more incentive than ever to get out there again. I will miss him like crazy.

I am so proud of this young man. He has a heart of gold, he has a good head on his shoulders and he is extremely intelligent. He is still searching for his "place" in this world, but I'm sure that once he finds it he will shine brightly.

Go, be who you have to be, seek what you must. Always be true to yourself and who you are. Excel in what you do. But above all else never forget you have a family who loves you dearly and counts the minutes until they see you again. Remember your roots, where you come from.

Keep in touch.

I love you my Son!!!

The Greatest Pain

The greatest pain a Mother can face is the loss of a child. However, does that loss have to be caused by a death to be painful? I say no. My oldest, my firstborn, my only son refuses to talk to me. I haven't seen him in almost a year, and the last time I spoke to him I felt like he was viewing my call as an intrusion.

I am worried about him as he slowly seems to be cutting out all members of his family. He cut my entire family out of his life shortly after my Mom passed away. I have always felt it was because he was so close to his Grandma and it was his was of coping, but shouldn't he have "come back" by now? He used to keep in touch with his sisters, but now he does not talk to them either. He has stopped talking to his stepdad as often as he used to.

Now he and his girlfriend are moving to the coast of BC at the end of August, and I fear I won't see him again. I found out from my daughters, who found out from his girlfriend that they are moving. His girlfriend talks to my daughters, but at times it seems she only does so to flaunt their Brother in their face.

People say that as he gets older he'll come back to his family, but I have my doubts. I don't really understand why he cut us all out. I don't know anything about his life as he refuses to share himself with us. He will be 20 on his next birthday, shouldn't he be "getting it" by now?

My heart aches for my firstborn. I long for the son I once had, my lil man. I pray that he finds his way back. I have reached out to him to no avail, calls are cut short and only happen if I make them and emails go unanswered. I try to make sure that he knows he is loved and that we are here waiting for him.

Perhaps it would be easier if I could understand ... I don't know.