Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Worry and Faith; Faith and Worry...

My youngest child has been plagued by stomach aches for nearly a year. Over the summer her father took her to see the paediatrician in the city of her birth; this was her Dr. from the time she was born until we relocated. He said he could see nothing physically wrong.

Stomach ailments continue; then headaches start. Strangely enough they seem to occur at roughly the same time of day, early evening. Soon though she is waking up with stomach pain, going to bed with stomach pain and headache.

Back to the Dr we go, our doctor in our city this time. He examines and says he doesn't really feel it's anything physical.

I question my daughter, has someone, anyone, hurt her and told her not to say anything? No. Ok, so why the physical ailments along with a growing fear of many things. I worry.

I weigh her, she's lost 4 lbs since summer. Ok, back to the doctor as her appetite now seems to be waning. She doesn't seem herself... or am I being paranoid?

I beg him to please do some tests, please rule out a physical cause for sure. At least then we know what we're dealing with. I tell him that I am beginning to lose patience with this, it's been ongoing for so long with no definitive answers. I feel awful for doubting, is it all in her head or is she really ill? What has caused this. I am scared....

I wish my Mom was still here so I could talk to her about my concerns, about my fears. I wish she was still here to tell me everything is going to be ok, to just say my prayers and have faith in God.

I do have faith, but I am scared. I am begging him please don't take my baby from me. Please let it be nothing serious. And please, let us find a cause so we can fix it and she won't hurt anymore.


Mandy said...

Hi Jen,

Thanks for your great comments on my blog today. I really appreciate your thoughtful words.

Regarding this post, I'm know what it's like to worry over a child. There are so many things that could be going on.

When I was 11, I was being bullied in school and I was too ashamed to tell my mom. (Lord knows why as she would have been nothing but supportive of me, as she was when she finally found out.) But the stress caused me to lose weight, have trouble sleeping.

You can only do as you have been, take her to the doctor, encourage her to talk to you. If it's emotional have faith that she will tell you. If it's physical, have faith that you will find the answer eventually.

It's definitely the hardest job they say... being a mom. I never knew I could collect so much grey hair from it.


Rebecca said...

Jenn, I will remember you and your daughter her doctor in my prayers. I went through something like this when I was in my early teens, it was stress over a teacher at school and school in general. I ended up in the emergency room with such severe pain. But it took that over months and months of aches to finally admit what was really going on in my head. You are a wonderful mother, your daughter will confide in you (if she has anything to confide) when she feels ready, I know it. In the meantime, I'll pray that the doctor finds the problem. I admire how you raise your children, you are one of the best there is.