Last week I went to my Brother's house to watch his children while he and his wife went to Vegas. I was thrilled to be asked and looked forward to the trip.
My Brother does well and I am very proud of the life that he and his lovely wife have created for themselves, they have 3 well-behaved, beautiful children, a wonderful home, complete with requisite dog.
I had much fun playing with the kids and doing what needed done. On my last night there I thought I'd treat myself to a bubble bath in the en suite. Now, before we go any further, let me just say that I have a jet tub in my house and I always use bubbles with no adverse effects!
I wanted to have the fireplace on while I soaked, YES I said fireplace, but the pilot light was not lit and I figured I'd best leave well enough alone...so no fire. No worries!! The tub was huge and inviting. Three bottles of bubble bath lined the ledge around the tub. Aha!!!! I'll try this pomegranate/vanilla one!
So as the tub was filling I drizzled in a small amount of bubble bath. I was giddy with anticipation!!! Tea...check...book....check...towel...check. I couldn't wait to sink into that bad boy and turn the jets on.
I checked on the children, all was well. I got my daughter all settled in and entered the en suite ready to relax.
I stripped out of my clothing, piled my hair into a messy bun and stepped into the tub.
Aaahhhhhh ....that was the sound of the sigh escaping my lips as I lowered myself into the water, run to the perfect temperature. The decadent scent of the lovely bubbles wafted upward. Then I had to figure out how to turn the jets on. My tub has a switch on the wall, yeppers, oooold school...this tub was electronic with a touch pad. After much derision (I was scared I'd wreck something) I figured it out and the jets were away!
What I didn't realize is that this tub isn't really jets per say, but a whole lot of tiny little holes that blow air in the water. As I was settled back reading my book I failed to notice the rising level of the bubbles. When they began to overtake my face and my hands I realized that something was amiss. I looked up from the text in horror!
The bubbles were higher than I was in the tub. I had visions of them spilling over everywhere, I didn't know what to do. So I pressed the off button. And I sat there...pondering. I thought, well, surely they can't go any higher, so I turned it on and once again settled back with my book. Yeeeeaaahhh, I was a wee bit wrong on that thought. Higher they went. I turned it off. Slumped back, tossed my book over the side, picked up my tea and had a sip then gnawed on a nail. What the eff was I going to do... had I done something wrong... had I *gasp* wrecked something. Then I started to do what I do when I'm confronted with an uncomfortable thought... I began to giggle and then laugh at the absurdity of the situation. I called my daughter in to see. She walked in, stopped dead and said "what the....?" After shared laughter she walked out.
I got out of the tub and dried off. I drained the water. I looked at the tub still filled to half with bubbles and began to panic. Crap, crap ... CRAP!!!! Thankfully there was a retractable shower nozzle by the tub faucet (thank you whoever designed this!) so I ran cold water through the nozzle and began spraying the bubbles. They didn't seem to be shrinking. I kept spraying. They were STILL there. Suddenly a horrific noise filled the en suite and bubbles flew up and out of the tub.... I was stunned. What was going on??? Then I looked at the touch screen and saw the words "drying cycle"... are you kidding me!!!! I found the off button and shut it down... but drying cycle was still blinking. Man, this process best hurry up I thought as I wiped the sweat from my brow. Finally after what seemed like hours the bubbles were gone, the tub was clean.
Let the drying process begin!!!
I cleaned up the rest of the mess and went to bed.
Next time I'll light the pilot light!!
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
I broke it :o((
Last Friday I was making calls to arrange the transfer of my utilities for when we move (downsizing to a smaller, cheaper place ... moving sucks!!). I went to stand up, slipped and landed with my hand on the right hand corner of my laptop....HARD... right where the hard drive is housed.
It froze. It won't turn on.
I took it to a computer shop, they say the hard drive is fubar'd. When I took it to them it wouldn't do anything, when I brought it home it will turn on enough to tell me that a kernel file ( I wrote down the file name) is missing or corrupt. I want my files from the My Documents folder. I have tons of stuff, mainly photos that I stupidly did not back up *cry*. I have a buddy in Edmonton who says that he has a friend who does data recovery for a living and that he might be able to help me... I certainly hope so. However, I have to wait until I get to Edmonton at some point or until the dude comes down this way... and let me tell you patience is not my strong point!!
I didn't realize how very attached I had become to my laptop until I found myself chained to the PC again. Ohhhh Laptop... how I miss thee!!! Since I have been out of work since the end of June I don't foresee a new laptop anytime in my immediate future, and since the original plan for me was to buy a mac book the next time I purchased a laptop, I envision myself waiting even longer. *sigh*
Unless of course, some big apple exec reads this and decides to take pity on me ... it's my birthday soon ... I'd sure like a mac book!!!
It froze. It won't turn on.
I took it to a computer shop, they say the hard drive is fubar'd. When I took it to them it wouldn't do anything, when I brought it home it will turn on enough to tell me that a kernel file ( I wrote down the file name) is missing or corrupt. I want my files from the My Documents folder. I have tons of stuff, mainly photos that I stupidly did not back up *cry*. I have a buddy in Edmonton who says that he has a friend who does data recovery for a living and that he might be able to help me... I certainly hope so. However, I have to wait until I get to Edmonton at some point or until the dude comes down this way... and let me tell you patience is not my strong point!!
I didn't realize how very attached I had become to my laptop until I found myself chained to the PC again. Ohhhh Laptop... how I miss thee!!! Since I have been out of work since the end of June I don't foresee a new laptop anytime in my immediate future, and since the original plan for me was to buy a mac book the next time I purchased a laptop, I envision myself waiting even longer. *sigh*
Unless of course, some big apple exec reads this and decides to take pity on me ... it's my birthday soon ... I'd sure like a mac book!!!
Friday, September 11, 2009
NEVER FORGET
Today I am reflecting...remembering the fallen...343 FDNY Firefighters, 37 Port Authority, 23 NYPD Officers, those at the Pentagon and the passengers and crew aboard United 93.
May those who were left behind have a day in which they are able to remember the good times with those they lost on that fateful day.
I still remember where I was and the horror I felt on that day. I can still feel that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.
Never forget 9/11.
May those who were left behind have a day in which they are able to remember the good times with those they lost on that fateful day.
I still remember where I was and the horror I felt on that day. I can still feel that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.
Never forget 9/11.
Friday, September 4, 2009
Change
Change is supposed to be good, but when several changes are thrown our way all in a short period of time it can throw your equilibrium off. I find myself in this position as of late. This is why I haven't been blogging, my frame of mind hasn't been right.
I am struggling to find my center, my balance. I have been grappling with a lot of "why am I here?", "what is my purpose?", "what am I meant to be doing?". Slowly I am climbing from the abyss I've been in back to the real world... but it's been a journey.
As I face more change I brace myself. I pray for inner peace and sanctity within my life. I pray for direction, the knowledge to take the right path, the ability to discern what is right for my family and I.
For all those going through difficult transitions within their lives... I wish you strength, and courage to persevere. I wish you peace of mind and a happy heart.
I am struggling to find my center, my balance. I have been grappling with a lot of "why am I here?", "what is my purpose?", "what am I meant to be doing?". Slowly I am climbing from the abyss I've been in back to the real world... but it's been a journey.
As I face more change I brace myself. I pray for inner peace and sanctity within my life. I pray for direction, the knowledge to take the right path, the ability to discern what is right for my family and I.
For all those going through difficult transitions within their lives... I wish you strength, and courage to persevere. I wish you peace of mind and a happy heart.
Friday, June 19, 2009
Life's Little Lessons Sometimes Harsh Lessons
Yesterday my teenage daughter's best friend's Mom passed away. L's primary cancer was cervical, it is a cancer no woman should ever die of. It is one of the most curable cancers there is, but for whatever reason L is gone because of it.
My heart broke for S (16), her sisters (18, 13 & 11) and her Dad, not to mention the rest of the family and friends. I know how hard it was to lose my Mom when I was 35, I can't imagine losing a Mother at such a tender age.
I do know, however, how an illness such as this can force you to grow up a whole lot faster than was ever intended. I was ten when my Mom fought her first battle with brain cancer, fortunately she survived, but it left scars on us still. Just knowing that there is a chance that your Mom could die forces a child to come to many scary realizations. I had horrible, recurring nightmares during this dark time (interestingly the same nightmares plagued me in my adult years the next two times my Mom battled this disease, even though I was grown up with children of my own), and the fears were debilitating. I sit here with a heavy heart and can only imagine what L's daughters must be feeling, their fears; the feelings of a loss too big for words.
S, the 16 y/o and K her younger sister who is 11 both hang around with my daughters. The girls spend much time between the 2 homes. My oldest daughter spent countless hours at the hospital with S and her family, visiting with L and offering emotional support to her friend. Yesterday my daughter phoned me at work to say that S had called and L had passed away; she was calm and composed. When I asked her if she was ok (she had been quite close to L) she said she was, she reminded me that this had been expected. I smiled inwardly at her adult take on the situation.
I am proud of my daughters, they have a healthy outlook, they realize people die and it's a part of life, a sad part, but one we must all come to accept at some point. I once worked in a position where I did first removals (when people passed on I picked them up and took them to the funeral home) as well as a paramedic so my kids were exposed to many a story, usually with the intent to show how fragile life is. They have lost family members and childhood friends. Perhaps they've been exposed to death more than the average child, but I view that as a positive rather than a negative. It has given them strength. Strength that they can draw on to be there for others in their times of need. Strength to help them deal with whatever curve ball life may throw their way.
Last night was the final soccer game for my youngest. While there we talked a bit about the loss of L, and I asked her how K was. She said she didn't know. When I suggested she call K she said, "Mom I don't want to." I was taken aback, I wondered aloud why would she not want to call her friend. She told me that she didn't know what to say. How often do we as adults avoid the same type of situations for the same reasons?
I put my arm around her and looked her in the eye and told her, there is no "right" thing to say, there is nothing you can say that will take the pain of this day away, BUT you can be her friend, and right now that's all she needs... to know that her friend is there for her. You don't even have to talk, just listen... sit in companionable silence... but just be there.
She understood and felt better about not knowing what to say.
It would be nice if kids didn't have to know these sorts of things, it would be nice if we could live a Utopian existence where it was always sunshine and smiles, but reality is what it is and we can't. We can only do our best to ensure our children are as equipped as possible to handle the world.
I urge all my female readers to please PLEASE ensure you get your yearly check-up. If something doesn't feel right, get a check-up. If you think your doctor is wrong push harder for answers, get second opinions. We must look out for our best interests.
RIP L .... you will be dearly missed.
My heart broke for S (16), her sisters (18, 13 & 11) and her Dad, not to mention the rest of the family and friends. I know how hard it was to lose my Mom when I was 35, I can't imagine losing a Mother at such a tender age.
I do know, however, how an illness such as this can force you to grow up a whole lot faster than was ever intended. I was ten when my Mom fought her first battle with brain cancer, fortunately she survived, but it left scars on us still. Just knowing that there is a chance that your Mom could die forces a child to come to many scary realizations. I had horrible, recurring nightmares during this dark time (interestingly the same nightmares plagued me in my adult years the next two times my Mom battled this disease, even though I was grown up with children of my own), and the fears were debilitating. I sit here with a heavy heart and can only imagine what L's daughters must be feeling, their fears; the feelings of a loss too big for words.
S, the 16 y/o and K her younger sister who is 11 both hang around with my daughters. The girls spend much time between the 2 homes. My oldest daughter spent countless hours at the hospital with S and her family, visiting with L and offering emotional support to her friend. Yesterday my daughter phoned me at work to say that S had called and L had passed away; she was calm and composed. When I asked her if she was ok (she had been quite close to L) she said she was, she reminded me that this had been expected. I smiled inwardly at her adult take on the situation.
I am proud of my daughters, they have a healthy outlook, they realize people die and it's a part of life, a sad part, but one we must all come to accept at some point. I once worked in a position where I did first removals (when people passed on I picked them up and took them to the funeral home) as well as a paramedic so my kids were exposed to many a story, usually with the intent to show how fragile life is. They have lost family members and childhood friends. Perhaps they've been exposed to death more than the average child, but I view that as a positive rather than a negative. It has given them strength. Strength that they can draw on to be there for others in their times of need. Strength to help them deal with whatever curve ball life may throw their way.
Last night was the final soccer game for my youngest. While there we talked a bit about the loss of L, and I asked her how K was. She said she didn't know. When I suggested she call K she said, "Mom I don't want to." I was taken aback, I wondered aloud why would she not want to call her friend. She told me that she didn't know what to say. How often do we as adults avoid the same type of situations for the same reasons?
I put my arm around her and looked her in the eye and told her, there is no "right" thing to say, there is nothing you can say that will take the pain of this day away, BUT you can be her friend, and right now that's all she needs... to know that her friend is there for her. You don't even have to talk, just listen... sit in companionable silence... but just be there.
She understood and felt better about not knowing what to say.
It would be nice if kids didn't have to know these sorts of things, it would be nice if we could live a Utopian existence where it was always sunshine and smiles, but reality is what it is and we can't. We can only do our best to ensure our children are as equipped as possible to handle the world.
I urge all my female readers to please PLEASE ensure you get your yearly check-up. If something doesn't feel right, get a check-up. If you think your doctor is wrong push harder for answers, get second opinions. We must look out for our best interests.
RIP L .... you will be dearly missed.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Opportunity Knocked and I Answered...Will You?
Recently a friend of mine and I were talking, she was telling me about this new venture she had found and how after only 3 months she was making enough to be able to quit her job (where she was not happy) and be at home with her son. I admit to being intrigued, I don't want to quit my job, but I sure would like extra income.
So I went over and looked at what she was doing and found myself impressed. Impressed enough to sign up and become a part of what she was doing.
She can go and work a farmer's market for one day and make $1000, so in essence if she wanted to she only has to "work" 4 times a month. She makes up baskets for special occasions and really markets herself well.
The company is called Mia Bella's, Premium Scented Gourmet Candles and Other Fine Gourmet Products. These candles are amazing, they are unlike any other you may have burned in the past. Allow me to show you a comparison:
Mia Bella Candles
Made from 100% vegetable oil, which is a renewable resource. Using renewable resources supports the economy.
Non-toxic and non-carcinogenic. We make one of the healthiest and most environmentally friendly candles available on the market today.
Burns clean, 90% soot FREE and are environmentally friendly.
More costly to manufacture but well worth the added expense.
Biodegradable and water soluble-spills clean up easily with a little soap and hot water.
Burns cooler therefore lasts up to 50% longer!!
Paraffin-Based Candle
Emits high quantities of soot into the air that can damage your health and your homes interior.
Large manufacturers have profit motive for continuing to use paraffin-based waxes.
Non-biodegradable and non water-soluble. Spilled paraffin wax is difficult to clean, damaging carpets, clothing, furniture and floors.
Burns much hotter, therefore faster.
Mia Bella Products: Are extremely economical !!
Votive Candles: Average 15 burn hours !!
Jar Candles: Average 140 burn hours !!
Mia Melts: Average 35 fragrance hours !!
Body Care Products are concentrated so a little goes a long way !!!!
Soy Body Bars – Better than ordinary soap! Use to shower, shave and shampoo!! For all skin types. Contains soy proteins to protect the skin’s natural moisture barrier, repair the collagen and restore elasticity to mature skin. A must for travel !!
Bella Hand Wash - Contains white tea extract to keep your hands protected, soft and supple! Everyone will look forward to washing their hands! Pump included.
Bella Balm –As effective cream to treat cracked, chapped and dry skin without a greasy residue! You’ll love it !
Please visit: http://www.tranquil-moments.scent-team.com
These are scented right to the very bottom. The simmer pot we offer melts Mia Melts and the scent goes through your entire house. I could not believe how well scented these products are!!! Some candles claim to be scented all the way through, but are not, or the scent seems to get weaker the more you burn your candle, not Mia Bella's ...the scent lasts from start to finish.
If you are looking for a second income, or a way to earn money on the side without having to be out working another 8 hours for someone else... please join!! It is your business and you will get out of it what you put into it. If you are interested in finding out more about becoming a distributor in your area please visit:
http://www.tranquil-moments.scent-team.com and click on the "join" tab.
If you just wish to order some candles please feel free to order at my online store:
http://www.tranquil-moments.scent-team.com
I am certain that once you try this product you will be as hooked as I am. Oh, I almost forgot to mention, I have allergies and most other candles will bother me to some degree, these don't so that is another added bonus!!!!
We have also brought out a make-up line that... so be sure to check those products out as well!!
WHOA...can you tell how excited I am about this ... I can't stop talking about it !!!!
Check it out... try it.... I guarantee you'll like it!!!!
So I went over and looked at what she was doing and found myself impressed. Impressed enough to sign up and become a part of what she was doing.
She can go and work a farmer's market for one day and make $1000, so in essence if she wanted to she only has to "work" 4 times a month. She makes up baskets for special occasions and really markets herself well.
The company is called Mia Bella's, Premium Scented Gourmet Candles and Other Fine Gourmet Products. These candles are amazing, they are unlike any other you may have burned in the past. Allow me to show you a comparison:
Mia Bella Candles
Made from 100% vegetable oil, which is a renewable resource. Using renewable resources supports the economy.
Non-toxic and non-carcinogenic. We make one of the healthiest and most environmentally friendly candles available on the market today.
Burns clean, 90% soot FREE and are environmentally friendly.
More costly to manufacture but well worth the added expense.
Biodegradable and water soluble-spills clean up easily with a little soap and hot water.
Burns cooler therefore lasts up to 50% longer!!
Paraffin-Based Candle
Petroleum based by-product of gasoline refining which is manufactured from both foreign and domestic oil.
Emits 13 known toxins and carcinogens into the air while burning.Emits high quantities of soot into the air that can damage your health and your homes interior.
Large manufacturers have profit motive for continuing to use paraffin-based waxes.
Non-biodegradable and non water-soluble. Spilled paraffin wax is difficult to clean, damaging carpets, clothing, furniture and floors.
Burns much hotter, therefore faster.
Mia Bella Products: Are extremely economical !!
Votive Candles: Average 15 burn hours !!
Jar Candles: Average 140 burn hours !!
Mia Melts: Average 35 fragrance hours !!
Body Care Products are concentrated so a little goes a long way !!!!
Soy Body Bars – Better than ordinary soap! Use to shower, shave and shampoo!! For all skin types. Contains soy proteins to protect the skin’s natural moisture barrier, repair the collagen and restore elasticity to mature skin. A must for travel !!
Bella Hand Wash - Contains white tea extract to keep your hands protected, soft and supple! Everyone will look forward to washing their hands! Pump included.
Bella Balm –As effective cream to treat cracked, chapped and dry skin without a greasy residue! You’ll love it !
Please visit: http://www.tranquil-moments.scent-team.com
These are scented right to the very bottom. The simmer pot we offer melts Mia Melts and the scent goes through your entire house. I could not believe how well scented these products are!!! Some candles claim to be scented all the way through, but are not, or the scent seems to get weaker the more you burn your candle, not Mia Bella's ...the scent lasts from start to finish.
If you are looking for a second income, or a way to earn money on the side without having to be out working another 8 hours for someone else... please join!! It is your business and you will get out of it what you put into it. If you are interested in finding out more about becoming a distributor in your area please visit:
http://www.tranquil-moments.scent-team.com and click on the "join" tab.
If you just wish to order some candles please feel free to order at my online store:
http://www.tranquil-moments.scent-team.com
I am certain that once you try this product you will be as hooked as I am. Oh, I almost forgot to mention, I have allergies and most other candles will bother me to some degree, these don't so that is another added bonus!!!!
We have also brought out a make-up line that... so be sure to check those products out as well!!
WHOA...can you tell how excited I am about this ... I can't stop talking about it !!!!
Check it out... try it.... I guarantee you'll like it!!!!
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Heartspeak
A very dear friend of mine asked me to read a note she'd written, and to let her know what I thought. As I read what she had written, I recognized the words, I recognized the feelings... they mirrored mine almost exactly. Her words were beautiful and brought tears to my eyes. With her permission I share her words with you:
Dear Past:As I was sitting today reflecting on a passing comment made to me the other day, something came to me. The comment was "I don't even know you anymore!" This has really gotten me to thinking. You are right, you don't know me anymore. In fact, you never really did. I found the remark kind of ironic, because for the last couple of years, neither do I.
So, since hearing this remark, I have been spending most of my time trying to figure out where exactly it was that I lost myself. There is no answer to that I discovered. It was not one single event or moment; it was a culmination of many. For a long time I have been blaming my loss of self on you, my past. I thought that I had changed as a person due to the loss, abuse, heartbreak, fear and betrayal that I have endured. I had spent many hours wondering why does this happen to me, when will I be happy, what did I do to deserve this?? I now know the answer to that. I haven’t changed at all, besides growing wiser, I just forgot who I was.
Bit by bit, day by day you stole little pieces of me. Or so I thought. I learned to expect disappointment, rejection, pain, I was sure if I put myself out there that I would surely be hurt again. I created walls….a hard shell and I would rarely show what was hidden beneath to anyone. As the years went on it became easy to blame my fears on you. It was your fault. I forgot who I was too.
I realize now that it was your own fears and insecurities and lack of self worth that caused you to chip away at mine. It was life. Life is hard and situations happen. There are good people and bad people and I would allow anyone into my life, because I always felt that everyone deserves a chance. I was so arrogant that I thought I could save everyone. Pain is inevitable, everyone feels it. I was strong, confident, happy and had very clear goals. These characteristics are what drew every situation and person to me in the first place. But through this all, you broke me down into someone I no longer knew, but into someone you could control. It took a long time but eventually you succeeded, I forgot who I was.
I still really don’t know how I allowed this to happen. I was a person who had no fear, I lived life to the fullest, I loved with my whole heart and never turned away from someone in need. I loved myself and everyone around me. I knew that I could do anything that I put my mind to. I knew that I deserved respect, and I demanded it. That is who I was raised to be!
You took this from me with your mental and physical abuse, your betrayals, your lies and your lack of respect! So all this time, I have blamed you, my past, when in fact, I have no one to blame but myself, I allowed this to happen. I had become my own worst enemy. I had a choice and I chose to take this lying down. I acted like a victim. I am not a victim, I am a fighter! I fought for you, for my friends, for my family, for the little lost puppy but, I forgot to fight for the most important thing….myself.
Coming to this realization has completely changed my outlook. Life may have handed me shitty cards from time to time, but I didn’t deserve it……..I allowed it to make me lose myself. So dear past, I forgive you. And, no, you don’t know me at all! But I do!!!
Written by Joanne Schock June 7/09
Thank you my dear, dear Jo Hanna for sharing that with me and for allowing me to share it here. Thank you for giving voice to the girl inside me, the girl who sometimes wonders who am I and where do I fit.
Dear Past:As I was sitting today reflecting on a passing comment made to me the other day, something came to me. The comment was "I don't even know you anymore!" This has really gotten me to thinking. You are right, you don't know me anymore. In fact, you never really did. I found the remark kind of ironic, because for the last couple of years, neither do I.
So, since hearing this remark, I have been spending most of my time trying to figure out where exactly it was that I lost myself. There is no answer to that I discovered. It was not one single event or moment; it was a culmination of many. For a long time I have been blaming my loss of self on you, my past. I thought that I had changed as a person due to the loss, abuse, heartbreak, fear and betrayal that I have endured. I had spent many hours wondering why does this happen to me, when will I be happy, what did I do to deserve this?? I now know the answer to that. I haven’t changed at all, besides growing wiser, I just forgot who I was.
Bit by bit, day by day you stole little pieces of me. Or so I thought. I learned to expect disappointment, rejection, pain, I was sure if I put myself out there that I would surely be hurt again. I created walls….a hard shell and I would rarely show what was hidden beneath to anyone. As the years went on it became easy to blame my fears on you. It was your fault. I forgot who I was too.
I realize now that it was your own fears and insecurities and lack of self worth that caused you to chip away at mine. It was life. Life is hard and situations happen. There are good people and bad people and I would allow anyone into my life, because I always felt that everyone deserves a chance. I was so arrogant that I thought I could save everyone. Pain is inevitable, everyone feels it. I was strong, confident, happy and had very clear goals. These characteristics are what drew every situation and person to me in the first place. But through this all, you broke me down into someone I no longer knew, but into someone you could control. It took a long time but eventually you succeeded, I forgot who I was.
I still really don’t know how I allowed this to happen. I was a person who had no fear, I lived life to the fullest, I loved with my whole heart and never turned away from someone in need. I loved myself and everyone around me. I knew that I could do anything that I put my mind to. I knew that I deserved respect, and I demanded it. That is who I was raised to be!
You took this from me with your mental and physical abuse, your betrayals, your lies and your lack of respect! So all this time, I have blamed you, my past, when in fact, I have no one to blame but myself, I allowed this to happen. I had become my own worst enemy. I had a choice and I chose to take this lying down. I acted like a victim. I am not a victim, I am a fighter! I fought for you, for my friends, for my family, for the little lost puppy but, I forgot to fight for the most important thing….myself.
Coming to this realization has completely changed my outlook. Life may have handed me shitty cards from time to time, but I didn’t deserve it……..I allowed it to make me lose myself. So dear past, I forgive you. And, no, you don’t know me at all! But I do!!!
Written by Joanne Schock June 7/09
Thank you my dear, dear Jo Hanna for sharing that with me and for allowing me to share it here. Thank you for giving voice to the girl inside me, the girl who sometimes wonders who am I and where do I fit.
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