Marvelously Mundane Musings

UnProfessionalism

2011-03-05T10:55:00.004-07:00

Recently a local columnist wrote a column regarding how people don't seem to dress up anymore. They are comfortable dining at an upscale restaurant outfitted in torn jeans, scrubby shirts and unkempt hair; oblivious to percieved rules of etiquette. I agreed with what he had written, having had similar thoughts myself upon occasion.

This week I had reason to actually have to go in to the bank, where I usually opt for the ATM or online banking this particular transaction required a teller's touch. As I stood in line I observed all the people, the tellers and the customers. As always it was a diverse bunch... the rugged outdoor workers, the pampered princesses, the probable drug users and the ~~professional looking~~ tellers. Perhaps that should read the professional looking tellers with the exception of the stripper wannabe.

She wore layers of tank tops with their colorful bottoms peeking out from beneath her tight cardigan; all of this atop skin tight pinstriped dress pants that rode up the crack of her bottom. Paired, of course, with sneakers... really, why not? As if this attire wasn't enough of an eye ~~catcher~~ sore, one was then treated to a view of her pushed up, accented by "bronzer" cleavage. Her cups definitely spill-eth over! I thought the old man she was serving was going to have a coronary, his stupor and slack jawed, drool induced gaze the sum of more than just old age I'm sure. His eyes followed her as though in a trance whenever she moved. When she stood it was chest up and out, stomach in and ass stuck back... ever seen a stripper walk?

All of this in the bank! A place where I was sure professionalism still reigned. Where the only casual day was indeed Friday. How sadly uninformed I am.

Professionalism, like manners and common sense, is dying. People no longer take pride in what they do, or what they look like. They put in their time... they exist...they just mechanically do. Like other taboos, dressing down has over taken dressing up and looking the part.

What happened? Can we get it back? I kind of miss people who give a damn!!!

Contentment

2011-02-13T09:39:00.003-07:00

I was talking to my Aunt the other night and we were discussing life in general among other things. During this discussion I mentioned that I was finally content with my life...I hadn't consciously had this thought, it just came out, and at that moment I realized that I really was content.

I no longer look to others or situations for my happiness. I am no longer "searching" for "something". I do not feel the need to look on the other side of the fence thinking the grass is greener. My life is missing nothing...I was missing from my life. I had allowed myself to disconnect.

Once I reconnected and started living, not just existing I began to see all the blessings I had in my world. I began to appreciate and be grateful for all that I have. Through this process I have learned that there truly is something to the "Law of Attraction". The more happy and grateful I am, the more good comes my way.

This may not be the life that I had envisioned for myself, but it is the life that I am meant to be having at this moment. I am right where I am supposed to be and I am thankful for that.

Are you where you are meant to be? Are you living or existing? Are you content?

Counting My Blessings...Taking Time

2011-02-10T22:13:00.002-07:00

Last night my kids informed me that they did not have school today and tomorrow due to Teacher's Convention, I know...I should have been paying more attention to dates; but I wasn't. Thankfully they are old enough to be on their own during the day and I did not have to seek child care.

I did not want to get out of bed this morning when it came time to get up and get ready for work. As I did my hair I thought to myself that I just could not do another day this week. I wanted to be home with my kids tomorrow. I wanted to take the time. I wanted to hang out with them. I know how quickly time passes, my "baby" is thirteen, my oldest is twenty-two next month...there will be plenty of days to work, but how much more time will I have to just kick it with my kids?

It's funny, when they were younger I took so much for granted, I didn't think I would ever forget a thing... I did not think that time would go so fast. Little did I know that I would seemingly blink and have an adult son living on his own and two daughters growing up too fast. How easily I can close my eyes and remember the day each of them was brought home, and now they are each spreading their wings, one flying solo, one ready to leave the nest and one testing her wings. I don't want to blink again.

I went to look in on the girls before leaving for work, gazing down at my two angels I realized that time was drawing short and soon they would not be near enough for me to look upon them while they slept. My decision was made.

I went to work and filled out a days off request form. I am taking a vacation day for tomorrow. I am taking the time. I am going to hang with my girls. I am looking forward to a day of pajamas, popcorn, silliness, coloring, movies and much more. It is going to be great!

I have not taken a mental health day, and really it's not a vacation day... it shall be known as my Counting My Blessings day.

How do you count your blessings? What are you doing to make the most of your time?

Simple Things

2011-02-08T22:11:00.005-07:00

How easy it is to overlook the simple things in life, the little things that really give it meaning and make our experience unique from others. How easy to take for granted that which we already possess, how easy to turn a blind eye to the blessings already bestowed.

Hearing my daughters laugh, seeing their beautiful faces, having the time to play games and spend quality time with them... these are my simple things these days. These are my ever gentle reminders that all too soon these moments will be but memories locked in the vault of my heart. Treasures to be taken out from time to time, smiled over with a sigh and a tear; remembering.

I have become devoted to living in the "now", focusing on what is, not what has been or will be. I find my stress levels diminishing, my tolerance increasing and my happiness constant. Learning to appreciate what is and stop wanting what was or what may be has been a painful journey, yet it has been one I am ever grateful for. I have learned to see the value in the simple things.

It is amazing, the lessons the universe has to impart when we only just slow down and listen; when we simply shut our mouths and open our ears. When we open our eyes and minds to see what has always been here for us. As I am learning to enjoy the simplicity I find all around me I feel a calmness come over me, a oneness with my surroundings.

I am thankful for all that I have been blessed with, for all that I am able to give back.

What is your simplicity? Are you hearing and seeing what your universe is trying to tell you?

Mind, Body, Spirit

2011-02-06T12:00:00.002-07:00

A co-worker and I had a discussion on the connection between the physical self and the spirit. Both of us had been raised in one faith and now practice another; interesting I thought.

During the discussion I discovered someone who shared similar thoughts to mine when it comes to where the world is today as opposed to days gone by. I firmly believe that the majority of people suffer from a disconnect between themselves and their spirit. I believe this is why many people spend years aimlessly searching for something that was within them all along.

I think back to a time, not so very long ago, when it was almost taboo to admit to having no faith, no spirituality; no belief system. Now, it is almost taboo to admit to having one. When I mention going to church I sometimes get looks akin to someone noticing that I have three heads. Why is this?

Can we attribute the downward spiral of society to the disconnect of physical self and spirit? I think we can to a large degree. When I feel out of sorts and find myself becoming short tempered and less tolerable I know it is time to focus on my spirit. I would like to say that I get to church every Sunday, but I do not, I do however thank my God every day for all the blessings in my life. I remember to be grateful.

Perhaps if more folks could reconnect their physical self to their spirit we would see a happier world.

Of Losing Self and Rediscovery

2011-02-05T20:03:00.002-07:00

Soo, it has been a very long time since I have blogged anything. I really don't know why. I do know that I went through a rather rough time and sort of retreated into myself. I shut down as much as I could given the responsibilities I have.

Like a plant that flowers annually, I find myself entering a period of rebirth creatively. I can feel my inner self awakening; resurrecting. I am overjoyed. For a long period I felt as though I had lost myself forever. I now know that to be untrue. My innermost self was hibernating; rejuvenating and is now ready to emerge. Refreshed and renewed.

Sometimes we must be lost before we can be found. In the finding we learn who we truly are and where we are to be. Being lost was a lot like walking in fog, but now the fog has lifted and things have become clear. I welcome clarity.

I have missed my writing and look forward to what may come from within.

Please Pray or Send Positive Thoughts

2009-11-19T11:01:00.004-07:00

I don't know the following blogger, what I do know is that she is a Mom to 3 young children, has a husband, family and many friends who love her. Who want her to get better...

She recently suffered a very severe stroke and is hospitalized. I have seen the power of prayer and how when enough people come together for a common goal it can be accomplished. So pray...pray hard and long. Pray that this young woman comes back to her family, pray for her family and friends so that they may have the strength needed to endure this difficult time. Pray that her babies don't have to know life without Mommy.

Here is a link to AimingLow, a blog she is part of:

http://aiminglow.com

and her blog:

http://freeanissa.com

My prayers are being offered up for her recovery, please join me.

How High are the bubbles Momma.... 10 ft high and risin'...

2009-10-15T17:16:00.003-06:00

Last week I went to my Brother's house to watch his children while he and his wife went to Vegas. I was thrilled to be asked and looked forward to the trip.

My Brother does well and I am very proud of the life that he and his lovely wife have created for themselves, they have 3 well-behaved, beautiful children, a wonderful home, complete with requisite dog.

I had much fun playing with the kids and doing what needed done. On my last night there I thought I'd treat myself to a bubble bath in the en suite. Now, before we go any further, let me just say that I have a jet tub in my house and I always use bubbles with no adverse effects!

I wanted to have the fireplace on while I soaked, YES I said fireplace, but the pilot light was not lit and I figured I'd best leave well enough alone...so no fire. No worries!! The tub was huge and inviting. Three bottles of bubble bath lined the ledge around the tub. Aha!!!! I'll try this pomegranate/vanilla one!

So as the tub was filling I drizzled in a small amount of bubble bath. I was giddy with anticipation!!! Tea...check...book....check...towel...check. I couldn't wait to sink into that bad boy and turn the jets on.

I checked on the children, all was well. I got my daughter all settled in and entered the en suite ready to relax.

I stripped out of my clothing, piled my hair into a messy bun and stepped into the tub.

Aaahhhhhh ....that was the sound of the sigh escaping my lips as I lowered myself into the water, run to the perfect temperature. The decadent scent of the lovely bubbles wafted upward. Then I had to figure out how to turn the jets on. My tub has a switch on the wall, yeppers, oooold school...this tub was electronic with a touch pad. After much derision (I was scared I'd wreck something) I figured it out and the jets were away!

What I didn't realize is that this tub isn't really jets per say, but a whole lot of tiny little holes that blow air in the water. As I was settled back reading my book I failed to notice the rising level of the bubbles. When they began to overtake my face and my hands I realized that something was amiss. I looked up from the text in horror!

The bubbles were higher than I was in the tub. I had visions of them spilling over everywhere, I didn't know what to do. So I pressed the off button. And I sat there...pondering. I thought, well, surely they can't go any higher, so I turned it on and once again settled back with my book. Yeeeeaaahhh, I was a wee bit wrong on that thought. Higher they went. I turned it off. Slumped back, tossed my book over the side, picked up my tea and had a sip then gnawed on a nail. What the eff was I going to do... had I done something wrong... had I *gasp* wrecked something. Then I started to do what I do when I'm confronted with an uncomfortable thought... I began to giggle and then laugh at the absurdity of the situation. I called my daughter in to see. She walked in, stopped dead and said "what the....?" After shared laughter she walked out.

I got out of the tub and dried off. I drained the water. I looked at the tub still filled to half with bubbles and began to panic. Crap, crap ... CRAP!!!! Thankfully there was a retractable shower nozzle by the tub faucet (thank you whoever designed this!) so I ran cold water through the nozzle and began spraying the bubbles. They didn't seem to be shrinking. I kept spraying. They were STILL there. Suddenly a horrific noise filled the en suite and bubbles flew up and out of the tub.... I was stunned. What was going on??? Then I looked at the touch screen and saw the words "drying cycle"... are you kidding me!!!! I found the off button and shut it down... but drying cycle was still blinking. Man, this process best hurry up I thought as I wiped the sweat from my brow. Finally after what seemed like hours the bubbles were gone, the tub was clean.

Let the drying process begin!!!

I cleaned up the rest of the mess and went to bed.

Next time I'll light the pilot light!!

I broke it :o((

2009-10-14T08:25:00.002-06:00

Last Friday I was making calls to arrange the transfer of my utilities for when we move (downsizing to a smaller, cheaper place ... moving sucks!!). I went to stand up, slipped and landed with my hand on the right hand corner of my laptop....HARD... right where the hard drive is housed.

It froze. It won't turn on.

I took it to a computer shop, they say the hard drive is fubar'd. When I took it to them it wouldn't do anything, when I brought it home it will turn on enough to tell me that a kernel file ( I wrote down the file name) is missing or corrupt. I want my files from the My Documents folder. I have tons of stuff, mainly photos that I stupidly did not back up *cry*. I have a buddy in Edmonton who says that he has a friend who does data recovery for a living and that he might be able to help me... I certainly hope so. However, I have to wait until I get to Edmonton at some point or until the dude comes down this way... and let me tell you patience is not my strong point!!

I didn't realize how very attached I had become to my laptop until I found myself chained to the PC again. Ohhhh Laptop... how I miss thee!!! Since I have been out of work since the end of June I don't foresee a new laptop anytime in my immediate future, and since the original plan for me was to buy a mac book the next time I purchased a laptop, I envision myself waiting even longer. *sigh*

Unless of course, some big apple exec reads this and decides to take pity on me ... it's my birthday soon ... I'd sure like a mac book!!!

NEVER FORGET

2009-09-11T07:27:00.003-06:00

Today I am reflecting...remembering the fallen...343 FDNY Firefighters, 37 Port Authority, 23 NYPD Officers, those at the Pentagon and the passengers and crew aboard United 93.

May those who were left behind have a day in which they are able to remember the good times with those they lost on that fateful day.

I still remember where I was and the horror I felt on that day. I can still feel that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Never forget 9/11.

Change

2009-09-04T08:55:00.003-06:00

Change is supposed to be good, but when several changes are thrown our way all in a short period of time it can throw your equilibrium off. I find myself in this position as of late. This is why I haven't been blogging, my frame of mind hasn't been right.

I am struggling to find my center, my balance. I have been grappling with a lot of "why am I here?", "what is my purpose?", "what am I meant to be doing?". Slowly I am climbing from the abyss I've been in back to the real world... but it's been a journey.

As I face more change I brace myself. I pray for inner peace and sanctity within my life. I pray for direction, the knowledge to take the right path, the ability to discern what is right for my family and I.

For all those going through difficult transitions within their lives... I wish you strength, and courage to persevere. I wish you peace of mind and a happy heart.

Life's Little Lessons Sometimes Harsh Lessons

2009-06-19T14:15:00.007-06:00

Yesterday my teenage daughter's best friend's Mom passed away. L's primary cancer was cervical, it is a cancer no woman should ever die of. It is one of the most curable cancers there is, but for whatever reason L is gone because of it.

My heart broke for S (16), her sisters (18, 13 & 11) and her Dad, not to mention the rest of the family and friends. I know how hard it was to lose my Mom when I was 35, I can't imagine losing a Mother at such a tender age.

I do know, however, how an illness such as this can force you to grow up a whole lot faster than was ever intended. I was ten when my Mom fought her first battle with brain cancer, fortunately she survived, but it left scars on us still. Just knowing that there is a chance that your Mom could die forces a child to come to many scary realizations. I had horrible, recurring nightmares during this dark time (interestingly the same nightmares plagued me in my adult years the next two times my Mom battled this disease, even though I was grown up with children of my own), and the fears were debilitating. I sit here with a heavy heart and can only imagine what L's daughters must be feeling, their fears; the feelings of a loss too big for words.

S, the 16 y/o and K her younger sister who is 11 both hang around with my daughters. The girls spend much time between the 2 homes. My oldest daughter spent countless hours at the hospital with S and her family, visiting with L and offering emotional support to her friend. Yesterday my daughter phoned me at work to say that S had called and L had passed away; she was calm and composed. When I asked her if she was ok (she had been quite close to L) she said she was, she reminded me that this had been expected. I smiled inwardly at her adult take on the situation.

I am proud of my daughters, they have a healthy outlook, they realize people die and it's a part of life, a sad part, but one we must all come to accept at some point. I once worked in a position where I did first removals (when people passed on I picked them up and took them to the funeral home) as well as a paramedic so my kids were exposed to many a story, usually with the intent to show how fragile life is. They have lost family members and childhood friends. Perhaps they've been exposed to death more than the average child, but I view that as a positive rather than a negative. It has given them strength. Strength that they can draw on to be there for others in their times of need. Strength to help them deal with whatever curve ball life may throw their way.

Last night was the final soccer game for my youngest. While there we talked a bit about the loss of L, and I asked her how K was. She said she didn't know. When I suggested she call K she said, "Mom I don't want to." I was taken aback, I wondered aloud why would she not want to call her friend. She told me that she didn't know what to say. How often do we as adults avoid the same type of situations for the same reasons?

I put my arm around her and looked her in the eye and told her, there is no "right" thing to say, there is nothing you can say that will take the pain of this day away, BUT you can be her friend, and right now that's all she needs... to know that her friend is there for her. You don't even have to talk, just listen... sit in companionable silence... but just be there.

She understood and felt better about not knowing what to say.

It would be nice if kids didn't have to know these sorts of things, it would be nice if we could live a Utopian existence where it was always sunshine and smiles, but reality is what it is and we can't. We can only do our best to ensure our children are as equipped as possible to handle the world.

I urge all my female readers to please PLEASE ensure you get your yearly check-up. If something doesn't feel right, get a check-up. If you think your doctor is wrong push harder for answers, get second opinions. We must look out for our best interests.

RIP L .... you will be dearly missed.

Opportunity Knocked and I Answered...Will You?

2009-06-13T10:12:00.005-06:00

Recently a friend of mine and I were talking, she was telling me about this new venture she had found and how after only 3 months she was making enough to be able to quit her job (where she was not happy) and be at home with her son. I admit to being intrigued, I don't want to quit my job, but I sure would like extra income.

So I went over and looked at what she was doing and found myself impressed. Impressed enough to sign up and become a part of what she was doing.

She can go and work a farmer's market for one day and make $1000, so in essence if she wanted to she only has to "work" 4 times a month. She makes up baskets for special occasions and really markets herself well.

The company is called Mia Bella's, Premium Scented Gourmet Candles and Other Fine Gourmet Products. These candles are amazing, they are unlike any other you may have burned in the past. Allow me to show you a comparison:

Mia Bella Candles

Made from 100% vegetable oil, which is a renewable resource. Using renewable resources supports the economy.

Non-toxic and non-carcinogenic. We make one of the healthiest and most environmentally friendly candles available on the market today.

Burns clean, 90% soot FREE and are environmentally friendly.

More costly to manufacture but well worth the added expense.

Biodegradable and water soluble-spills clean up easily with a little soap and hot water.

Burns cooler therefore lasts up to 50% longer!!

Paraffin-Based Candle

Petroleum based by-product of gasoline refining which is manufactured from both foreign and domestic oil.

Emits 13 known toxins and carcinogens into the air while burning.

Emits high quantities of soot into the air that can damage your health and your homes interior.

Large manufacturers have profit motive for continuing to use paraffin-based waxes.

Non-biodegradable and non water-soluble. Spilled paraffin wax is difficult to clean, damaging carpets, clothing, furniture and floors.

Burns much hotter, therefore faster.

Mia Bella Products: Are extremely economical !!

Votive Candles: Average 15 burn hours !!
Jar Candles: Average 140 burn hours !!
Mia Melts: Average 35 fragrance hours !!

Body Care Products are concentrated so a little goes a long way !!!!

Soy Body Bars – Better than ordinary soap! Use to shower, shave and shampoo!! For all skin types. Contains soy proteins to protect the skin’s natural moisture barrier, repair the collagen and restore elasticity to mature skin. A must for travel !!

Bella Hand Wash - Contains white tea extract to keep your hands protected, soft and supple! Everyone will look forward to washing their hands! Pump included.

Bella Balm –As effective cream to treat cracked, chapped and dry skin without a greasy residue! You’ll love it !

Please visit: http://www.tranquil-moments.scent-team.com

These are scented right to the very bottom. The simmer pot we offer melts Mia Melts and the scent goes through your entire house. I could not believe how well scented these products are!!! Some candles claim to be scented all the way through, but are not, or the scent seems to get weaker the more you burn your candle, not Mia Bella's ...the scent lasts from start to finish.

If you are looking for a second income, or a way to earn money on the side without having to be out working another 8 hours for someone else... please join!! It is your business and you will get out of it what you put into it. If you are interested in finding out more about becoming a distributor in your area please visit:

http://www.tranquil-moments.scent-team.com and click on the "join" tab.

If you just wish to order some candles please feel free to order at my online store:

http://www.tranquil-moments.scent-team.com

I am certain that once you try this product you will be as hooked as I am. Oh, I almost forgot to mention, I have allergies and most other candles will bother me to some degree, these don't so that is another added bonus!!!!

We have also brought out a make-up line that... so be sure to check those products out as well!!

WHOA...can you tell how excited I am about this ... I can't stop talking about it !!!!

Check it out... try it.... I guarantee you'll like it!!!!

Heartspeak

2009-06-07T20:54:00.005-06:00

A very dear friend of mine asked me to read a note she'd written, and to let her know what I thought. As I read what she had written, I recognized the words, I recognized the feelings... they mirrored mine almost exactly. Her words were beautiful and brought tears to my eyes. With her permission I share her words with you:

Dear Past:As I was sitting today reflecting on a passing comment made to me the other day, something came to me. The comment was "I don't even know you anymore!" This has really gotten me to thinking. You are right, you don't know me anymore. In fact, you never really did. I found the remark kind of ironic, because for the last couple of years, neither do I.

So, since hearing this remark, I have been spending most of my time trying to figure out where exactly it was that I lost myself. There is no answer to that I discovered. It was not one single event or moment; it was a culmination of many. For a long time I have been blaming my loss of self on you, my past. I thought that I had changed as a person due to the loss, abuse, heartbreak, fear and betrayal that I have endured. I had spent many hours wondering why does this happen to me, when will I be happy, what did I do to deserve this?? I now know the answer to that. I haven’t changed at all, besides growing wiser, I just forgot who I was.

Bit by bit, day by day you stole little pieces of me. Or so I thought. I learned to expect disappointment, rejection, pain, I was sure if I put myself out there that I would surely be hurt again. I created walls….a hard shell and I would rarely show what was hidden beneath to anyone. As the years went on it became easy to blame my fears on you. It was your fault. I forgot who I was too.

I realize now that it was your own fears and insecurities and lack of self worth that caused you to chip away at mine. It was life. Life is hard and situations happen. There are good people and bad people and I would allow anyone into my life, because I always felt that everyone deserves a chance. I was so arrogant that I thought I could save everyone. Pain is inevitable, everyone feels it. I was strong, confident, happy and had very clear goals. These characteristics are what drew every situation and person to me in the first place. But through this all, you broke me down into someone I no longer knew, but into someone you could control. It took a long time but eventually you succeeded, I forgot who I was.

I still really don’t know how I allowed this to happen. I was a person who had no fear, I lived life to the fullest, I loved with my whole heart and never turned away from someone in need. I loved myself and everyone around me. I knew that I could do anything that I put my mind to. I knew that I deserved respect, and I demanded it. That is who I was raised to be!

You took this from me with your mental and physical abuse, your betrayals, your lies and your lack of respect! So all this time, I have blamed you, my past, when in fact, I have no one to blame but myself, I allowed this to happen. I had become my own worst enemy. I had a choice and I chose to take this lying down. I acted like a victim. I am not a victim, I am a fighter! I fought for you, for my friends, for my family, for the little lost puppy but, I forgot to fight for the most important thing….myself.

Coming to this realization has completely changed my outlook. Life may have handed me shitty cards from time to time, but I didn’t deserve it……..I allowed it to make me lose myself. So dear past, I forgive you. And, no, you don’t know me at all! But I do!!!

Written by Joanne Schock June 7/09

Thank you my dear, dear Jo Hanna for sharing that with me and for allowing me to share it here. Thank you for giving voice to the girl inside me, the girl who sometimes wonders who am I and where do I fit.

Shout Out For a GREAT Customer Service!!!

2009-05-26T10:45:00.008-06:00

Lately it seems as though we are surrounded by terrible customer service. No one seems to care anymore, they are just a warm body filling a space, collecting a paycheck. Recently I had the pleasure of being on the receiving end of some stellar customer service and I wanted to give the company a shout out. Perhaps anyone in need of the product they sell will be inclined to use their services.

My Dad started renovating his house shortly after my Mom passed away as something to keep him busy and occupy his mind. He has been plugging away at it for almost five years. Somewhere over the course of these years he purchased some ceramic tile to do the back splash in the kitchen. Fast forward to now.

He had installed his granite counter tops and began to install the ceramic tile. To his dismay he was short tiles and went to pick up some more. Uh oh... there were none to be found. He even checked in my city when he came to visit this past weekend, although he was fairly certain that he was not going to find any as the store in his hometown had told him that they were discontinued. Of course there were none in my city either.

I emailed the manufacturer with the model, color number, etc to inquire as to where these tiles might be found.

Celso Menezes, the general manager of the company emailed me back within a day. He told me that he had checked and the tiles were discontinued, however he was showing a couple of boxes in his warehouse and would ship them to my Dad free of charge. He was also willing to ship color samples to be sure they matched. I called my Dad and he was very happy. He said that he would make the tiles work even if the dye lots were a little off.

I got back to Celso Menezes to provide him with the shipping information and assured him that we would certainly be looking to his company first for any future tile needs. He told me that he would let me know as soon as the 4 boxes of tiles shipped to my father (2 plain and 2 w/the center design).

I am humbled by the generosity of this company, by the expedient nature of their reply and by their willingness to go that extra mile to ensure customer satisfaction and happiness. To say I am impressed would be an understatement. THIS ladies and gentlemen is what customer service is about, it's not that yawning teenager behind the counter grimacing because he has to actually earn his pay.

Here is the link for the company:

http://www.cecrisa.com.br/index_ingles.html

They are based in Brazil so the site may come up in a foreign language, but down on the left side you can click for English.

Thank you again Celso Menezes and Cecrisa ... you truly brightened my day!!

Energy Muse Bracelet

2009-05-18T19:17:00.005-06:00

This entry is WAY over due, I apologize Debra.

Quite some time back I won this bracelet from Debra @ Four Angels Momma . If you've never visited Debra's blog I strongly suggest you do. Her words come from the heart and her content is always relevant to what is going on in your world on that particular day. Her words are always timely and meaningful. I believe that Debra has been given the gift of being a vessel for a higher realm, to impart wisdom and beauty in a world that all too often feels ugly and without meaning. I feel honored to be given the gift of her words each time I read her blog. Debra is truly a special individual.

When Debra had her give away for this bracelet, I knew I had to have it. I was so very happy when she notified me that I'd won, but because of her good heart she decided to give away two of the bracelets. If you are not familiar with Energy Muse bracelets I encourage you to visit their site. Each piece they sell serves a purpose. When Debra mailed the bracelets to the winners she indicated that she was sure the right bracelet would find the correct owner. She couldn't have known how true that was. The one I received is a grounding bracelet. Lately I've needed some grounding, to be reminded of what matters and what I can let go of. Of what I can change and thus should fight for and what I can't change and should just rid myself of. Each time I look at this bracelet I am reminded that miles away, on the coast of California there is a woman who cares and who is wise beyond anything. I am reminded to stop and breathe. To see the beauty in the world around me, and within me. I am reminded to love my feet (stay grounded, rooted).

I believe all things have energy and those energies can affect us in a positive or negative way. Perhaps it is because of this belief that this bracelet holds such meaning for me. I find myself searching for positive energies and ridding myself of negative energies. I am going through a cleansing phase, taking stock and ridding myself of dead weight. The city dump is going to love me!!! Spiritually as well as physically I am cleansing. Like Dharma I will find my bliss.

I just wanted to take this moment to thank Debra for being who she is. For sharing her inner beauty with all of us who choose to read her blog. For imparting her wisdom to us in such an uncannily timely manner. If I am ever offered the opportunity to walk on the beach searching for sea glass with this lady I will jump at the chance. She is definitely in my top ten list of people that I would love to share a pot of tea with!

My Apologies

2009-05-03T12:31:00.003-06:00

I have been in a funk of sorts lately.

Not sure why, there really is no one reason. Lately it seems as though life has piled up and I have felt overwhelmed and somewhat alone in my quest for balance. Due to this state of being I haven't felt like writing, I feared that anything that came from my inner self at this point would be negative and not worth reading...so I have been avoiding my blog.

I'm hoping to soon feel more like blogging.

Plugged toilet ... cause: RAGS

2009-03-31T15:03:00.003-06:00

We recently moved offices to a MUCH older building, which is fine, don't get me wrong. However, in the two weeks that we have been here the women's toilet has plugged and overflowed on three occasions. Unfortunately when it plugs and overflows the inconvenience doesn't just affect the women, it also affects the parts guy downstairs ... the water drips into his area. Niiiice!

Three times the plumbers have attended to the problem. On the last occasion they pulled out a little something on the end of their roto rooter jobbie thing. Now of course being a male plumber he just dealt with the first man he could find. Men being men they oooohed and aaaahed over the finding. Then the plumber left.

The man he had dealt with told me that the roto rooter had pulled rags out.

Fast forward two days. An email arrives from my direct supervisor, apparently we women are NOT to flush our tampons anymore because that is what is plugging the toilet. Also, refrain from using the nice, soft paper towels as toilet paper... of course this was said tongue in cheek. I emailed her back and said that it would be interesting to know just WHO was flushing tampons cuz this past week I've been the only one using that bathroom and I know I haven't been blessed with Aunt Flo's presence. And as for the paper towel being used as toilet paper ... well I like it rough but I'll try to refrain from that pleasure whilst at work.

I was annoyed that men upon hearing "rags" as the cause immediately pinned the blame on female sanitary products. I spoke the the guy who dealt with the plumber and he said the rags the plumber pulled out were shop type hand wipes used by mechanic types ..... hmmmmmm seeing as how the men's washroom is up-pipe from the woman's bathroom would you not deduce that the men are flushing things they shouldn't be?? Of course not, it's much simpler to blame the women.

I don't usually cry sexist... but really ... c'mon.

Oh and for the record..this is not a new problem, was happening before we arrived on the scene!!

Stranded ...

2009-03-22T12:55:00.010-06:00

I came to Calgary yesterday to attend a family get together at my brother's house. When I left my house the temperatures were balmy, very spring like. They remained so even after I go to Calgary. Then I heard news that horrified me... they had issued a winter storm warning. As I looked to the clear blue sky I thought surely they must be joking!!!

I went to bed with visions of this in my head:

I was anticipating the arrival of spring and all that I have planned. I could taste it ... it was sooooo close. The snow was melting, the air was warming, the geese were back and I could hear the beautiful chirping of the birds who had been missing for so long.

In fact, on the drive to Calgary and once we had arrived I couldn't help but notice the barren brown of theland. It needs to green up soon I thought... the time is here!!!

I wouldn't allow my spring dreams to be dashed by a mere weatherman's bleak outlook, I mean really how often are they right, and hadn't we had enough winter.... hadn't we????

So I went to bed.

I awoke.

TO THIS SIGHT:

My brother grilled our dinner on here last night....

AND THIS ONE:

There was no snow on this deck yesterday...NONE...NOT ONE FLAKE...

AND THIS:

I wanted to run and hide. I wanted to scream and gnash my teeth. I wanted to sit down and cry rivers of tears. This storm effectively stranded me in Calgary. The highways are not in good condition, my truck is too light and frankly, I'm not brave enough to chance it. I was supposed to be seeing my boyfriend tonight, however that may not happen because I can't get home :o((

I know that being safe is more important and there will be other days to see him... but seriously ... winter needs to get lost ...NOW!!!!

I've had enough. I am cranky now. I am tired of white. I want color.

And this tree... this one right here:

Yeah, it was ready to weep this morning as well. It too wants winter to GO FAR AWAY!!!! It wants to spring forth with it's many buds and color the world a happy green.

I am so sick of winter.

If I call you Calgon ...will you take me away??

Cute Stuff

2009-03-16T17:53:00.003-06:00

Not much to say today... but I did want to share this because it is too funny.

I received a text from my youngest daughter today.

It said:

"Can I have a breado"

I'm reading it, thinking breado...WTF is a breado? I was sitting at my desk repeatedly whispering "breado" to myself trying to figure it out. My co-workers were poised to call the men in white coats ... we only live 25 minutes from the provincial mental hospital so they could have come quickly. I sounded like I was playing that game where you repeatedly say a gibberish phrase until it makes sense (can't remember the name of the game offhand).

Suddenly it made sense!!!!

Breado ... breado ....BREADO ...BURRITO!!!!

She wanted a burrito.

*sigh*

I texted back ...A burrito? Yes you may.

I call myself Mom.

Winter Doldrums

2009-03-08T18:43:00.004-06:00

Recently the weather had changed and most of our snow was gone. I was rejoicing, I had Spring Fever. I bought a new GPS, some scrambling books and topographic maps.... I was preparing for my spring/summer activities.

However, Old Man Winter (ohhhh how I'd love to chop his nads off, shove them where the sun don't shine and kick him repeatedly in the ass for good measure) decided to have another go at us. It snowed and snowed AND SNOWED yesterday. It was thick, sticky, wet snow. Then the temperature dropped so all the wet snow iced up underneath causing havoc on the roads. I was out shovelling at 10 PM because I am a good resident and I like to keep my sidewalks clear for those who walk on them.

Old Man Winter (the bastard), however, decided that the snow wasn't enough. Nooooooo, he had to send bitterly cold, gusting winds. Winds that steal your very breath the second you step outside. Winds that freeze uncovered skin numb in seconds. Winds that blew all the nicely shovelled snow all over, covering the clean sidewalks with drifts of spiteful snow. Winds that caused drifts to pile up on our roadways making driving a real treat. Winds that cause one to become very cranky, and VERY SICK OF WINTER.

I am sick of winter. Sick of the shovelling, the scraping, the freezing, the bundling... sick of the dirty white snow that litters the sides of our streets. I am sick of looking outside and seeing white, white BLAH WHITE.

I want color. I want to see buds on the trees. I want to see blue water and blue sky. I want to see lush green grass. I want to hear the birds chirping in the morning. I want to feel the sun beating in my window in the morning.

I WANT SPRING. DO YOU HEAR ME OLD MAN WINTER... GO AWAY!!!!!!

.... and sometimes I put make-up on just so I won't cry.

*sigh*

Disappointment

2009-02-25T21:26:00.003-07:00

Recently I ordered a book on ebay about scrambling. Scrambling is the summiting of smaller mountains by hiking/climbing using hands & feet. This is an activity I would like to take up this year. I've been researching safety and courses I should take to ensure my safety. I've also found two books outlining various scrambles, access and egress to them in areas not far from where I live. I bought topographic maps and have been reacquainting myself with my orienteering skills just in case my GPS unit were to fail.

One of the two books outlining routes was the one I found on ebay for a good price, so I bought it. I have been waiting for it's arrival and today there was a parcel box key in my mail box. So with much anticipation I opened the mail box and found .....

...an empty envelope. I can see where it's been cut open. Why deliver an empty envelope?

I have contacted the seller regarding this because I have never encountered this problem in any ebay transaction before. Now I sit awaiting their reply. I have paid for a product I have not received, but who is the responsible party? I do know this, it will be a long time, if ever, that I shop on ebay again. I can't afford to be tossing my money away so someone else gets a free product.

Very disappointing.

PS: I have thought maybe customs however, they generally tape a pkg back together and make a note on the pkg so you know it was they who were into it. So I've ruled that out. The pkg was clearly marked as to what the contents were as well. Grrrrr

UPDATE: I received a response from the seller, they are as flabbergasted as I am and have never experienced this before either. I contacted Canada Post and the selller will contact USPS ... so hopefully something will be determined. I am not holding my breath. I made sure the seller knew that I did not blame them in anyway. I am disappointed however at the dishonest people that reside in our world, I have never understood how you can take what is not yours and live with yourself. I do hope they find the person/s responsible....isn't tampering with/stealing mail a federal offense?

Who Will I Be When I Die?

2009-02-18T08:51:00.005-07:00

I have never claimed to understand where my thoughts go, or why they go where they do ... I just go with it...

Today I was laying in bed, happily anticipating the nap I was planning to have when my thoughts started swirling, and I wondered, "Who will I be when I die?"

Sounds silly doesn't it. I dissected my thoughts. What my inner self was really asking is, am I living my life the way I want to be remembered when I am gone. Am I treating people in a manner that they would truly miss me if I wasn't here? Am I someone who is making a positive impact/difference in the lives of others? Am I living up to my full potential? Do I practice kindness and humanity? Do I genuinely care about my world and those in it? Do I practice optimism as opposed to pessimism? Do I see the beauty and remember to stop and smell the roses? Do I take enough time to truly enjoy my world? Do I remember to breath...laugh...love? Am I truly living or just going through the motions, one minute at a time?

I wondered, will I be one of the ones whose demise causes those around them, those who knew and loved them to say with a smile, "Ahhh, she was one of the good ones, she will be missed." Or, will they speak in hushed whispers behind upheld hands "Not to speak ill of the dead...but..."

I want to be the first scenario. While I may not always succeed I try to be that person.

Who will you be when you die?

Feel Good Flowers

2009-02-09T09:23:00.004-07:00

This picture never fails to make me smile, it is my wallpaper on my laptop for this reason. I took this picture last summer. It wasn't a planned photo, it was one that just happened when I was fooling around waiting for my buddy to finish shooting the pics he was taking. It has, however, become one of my favorites.

As I sit here feeling Spring Fever set in... feeling so sick of the cold weather, overcast days and dirty snow, this picture can lighten my mood. It reminds me that summer is right around the corner. Spring, the season of rebirth and growth is even closer. Soon buds will be emerging and springing forth with their blooms.

This picture also reminds me that sometimes the most beautiful, most treasured things in our lives are those that are not planned. They just happen.

Rejoice in the beauty of your life today.

LITERARY AGENT - CAN YOU HELP?

2009-02-03T15:48:00.000-07:00

A member of my writing group is currently travelling in the US looking for a legitimate literary agent.

Since we are all only six degrees away from any one person in this world I thought I'd put this out there. I figure someone has to know an agent.

He is a very talented writer, engaging and humorous and he deserves to be given a chance. He has several novels written and is now chasing his dream. I, and I know he will appreciate any suggestions you can offer.

If you would like to see a sampling of his writing please visit www.writers-ink.net , he is the featured writer there, Ken Kanten. If you wish to contact him please email me at fnygrl68@telus.net and I will forward on to him then he can reply directly to you.

Thank you in advance.

A Child's Plea

2009-02-01T21:17:00.000-07:00

I don't usually share anything I've written on here (aside from my random blog posts which ARE written by me, I'm sure you know what I mean), but a member of my writer's group encouraged me to post this one so I am. I was inspired to write this after hearing the verdict of Penny Boudreau, the mother who killed her daughter, Karissa, in Bridgewater, NS.

This is by no means Karissa's story, it is written for all children who suffer at the hands of those who are supposed to love and care for them. It is written in the hopes that some day children will not know this sort of evil. Rest In Peace Karissa.

************************************************************************************

A Child’s Plea

When I was in utero
You smoked and drank and used
It all affected me
It hurt
I cried
“Mommy don’t…”

When I was an infant
You ignored my cries
Leaving me all alone
I was frightened and insecure
I cried
“Mommy don’t …”

When I was a toddler
You were not patient
You yelled and
You struck
It hurt
I felt unloved and unwanted
I cried
“Mommy don’t …”

As I got older
Your indifference grew
Displeasure a frequent visitor to your face
Love you did not show
I was a burden
No place for me in your world
A growth you had to remove
As you tightened the twine around my neck
I cried
Tears rolled down my face in a silent, heartfelt
Plea
“Mommy don’t …Please don’t”

Copyright © JLChristman
Jan 31/09
1320

**Inspired by the murder of Karissa Boudreau, Bridgewater, NS**

Positive vs Negative

2009-01-31T10:32:00.001-07:00

Yesterday I slept in BADLY!!! Normally on a work day I am up by 05:00ish. I like the quiet time. The time to sit and ~~procrastinate and dawdle~~ enjoy my coffee whilst reading my newspapers online. It is a time that is all mine, usually. However,yesterday when I opened my eyes at the sound of an incessant beeping I realized it was 0705. The beeping I heard was my daughter's alarm clock!! YIKES!!!!

Since I normally leave the house at 07:30 in order to be at work by 08:00 I was panicked. My old self would have been mad, I would have allowed this event to set the course for my day. That was my old self though, I am working on becoming a better, more zen person. So I took a deep breath and decided that I was going to turn that negative into a positive, I made it into a personal challenge. Would I be able to get ready and be at work on time???

I had a shower (albeit quick, but I can't function without one), drank my coffee on the run, threw my lunch and supper together, whipped up a to-go breaky, kissed the girls and ran out the door.

I made it to work at only 1 minute late!!!

I'm finding that I am turning negatives into positives more and more lately. When I first began this journey it took conscious effort to do... now I find myself doing it with no thought at all. I am much happier and much more stress free.

Life is good!!

What do you do with the negatives in your life?

Trash for Supper

2008-12-21T14:24:00.000-07:00

This morning I did the same thing I do every day when I come to work, I put my lunch (a salad) and my supper (gnocchi w/sun dried tomatoes and spinach) in the fridge. Both items were placed at the front of the top shelf, the same place I put my food every day.

At lunch time I went to get my salad. I noticed that my supper was gone, so I began to second guess myself. Had I left it in my bag? I came to my desk and checked my bag...no supper. I mentally revisited my morning and repacked my bag in my head. I distinctly remembered packing my supper on the bottom, salad on the top. I went back and checked the fridge again, TWICE!!! No supper.

I was stumped, there were tons of other plastic food dishes in the fridge, some that had been in there for a long period of time shoved to the back. Mine was not amongst them. I stood in the middle of the kitchen wondering. My eyes settled on the trash bin. There were crumpled donut boxes on the top, and I wondered some more. Could my supper be in there? Would someone be that ignorant? For giggles and grins I decided to look, never expecting to find my supper in there.

I moved the donut boxes and to my amazement I saw the lid of my container buried down below, under coffee grounds and crushed muffins. I reached in and moved the container to whee I could see it. It was covered in gooey garbage. I couldn't believe it. Who would be so mean?

I could have washed the container off and eaten the food, but at that point I couldn't trust that the food itself hadn't been tampered with. If someone was callous enough to put my food in the garbage, what else would they do?

I might have thought it was an innocent oversight had the rest of the containers in the fridge been "cleaned"out, especially the ones in the back. Had my food not been frozen still, I could understand how someone "might" have thought it wasn't fresh. If it had been at the back of the fridge with all the other old containers I might have understood how someone could have thought it was trash.

However, given the fact that it was the only container thrown in the garbage, it was at the front of the fridge beside other fresh food and it was still frozen I don't think it was much of an "accidental oversight".

Call me paranoid, but I think my food was thrown out on purpose, it's kind of hard to think otherwise. It sickens me that grown people could behave in this manner. It makes me doubt my co-workers and feel as though my food is not safe in the fridge. I think I may just start packing my food into a small cooler that I can keep under my desk and forgo the fridge.

What would you think?

Idiots, Morons and Mayhem ..... Otherwise Known as Winter Driving in Alberta

2008-12-15T09:25:00.000-07:00

I am always astounded by the idiocy of people on the roads, but never more so than when it is icy winter driving conditions.

I drove my daughters to school this morning because it was -30 with a windchill of -41, and being the good Mommy that I am I didn't want them to freeze.

On the way we encountered the following:

The speedster "I have 4 wheel drive so I can go as fast as I want on glare ice" SUV

The "I'm gonna tailgate you cuz I don't need stopping distance" beemer; oh this was a dual personality driver, he was also the "I'm gonna turn across the lanes to the one I want because I am an ass", he almost drove into the back of me because I had turned legally into the lane closest to me and was performing a legal lane change when he turned.

The "I'm such a busy woman/heaven forbid I miss out on the latest gossip, I need to yack on my phone and turn the wrong way into the school drop off lane" mini van.

Lest we forget the "I'm turning RIGHT NOW (no signal, no warning)" sedan.

People are such morons. It's not winter conditions that cause accidents, it's morons who don't slow down, don't follow the rules of the road, don't pay attention and don't give themselves space and reaction time who do.

It's 09:30 and I want a drink..... and God help me but I have to go out amongst the moronic mayhem again soon.

*sigh* Is it summer yet?

Worry in Red

2008-11-26T22:59:00.000-07:00

I always thought that once I'd reached a certain age I could stop worrying about "whether or not" I would get my period each month. I could stop waiting with baited breath each month, breathing a sigh of relief when it arrived (OK so I'm exaggerating somewhat, but I do have a point).

This is currently not a concern for me as a) I faithfully swallow my pill each day and b) one must have sex in order to find themselves in that condition and as I'm currently single there is none of that going on here.

I do however, have a teenage daughter. Now we've had "the" talk, I have been very open with my kids and I encourage them to come to me no matter what. I've told the girl that while I don't want her having sex yet, I want her to come to me if that's something she chooses to do and I will get her put on birth control and buy her condoms. I remember what being a hormonal teen was like!! I also remember how convincing those teenage boys can be, and since she has a steady boyfriend I'm sure you can see where my concern comes in. I mean will she come to me or will she be too ~~scared of my wrath~~ shy to do so.

We can instill the very best of morals and values in our children, and at the end of the day they will still make their own choices for the good or for the bad...and we can't control them. Teenage pregnancy knows no bounds, it doesn't discriminate. It also doesn't signify "bad" kids or morally lacking kids, it is simply kids who made a choice at an inopportune time. This scares the crappers out of me. I have to hope and have faith that she remains true to who she is, and continues to respect herself. I have to trust that she WILL come to me when that time arrives.

She assures me that she is not sexually active and I do trust her...but God help me, I worry EVERY damn month whether or not SHE is going to get HER period. Does anyone else with teen girls have this sick fixation on their daughters monthlies? Am I the only Mom who worries about this sort of thing.

I don't rest easy until I see the nice wrapper in the trash from the feminine hygiene product that I so lovingly supply for her each month.

Run Ya Over...

2008-11-24T07:12:00.000-07:00

I was going to pick my daughter up from work last night at approximately 10 PM, so naturally it was dark.

I was heading south on one of the main roads and had to turn east to access the complex she works in. I had a red light so while I was waiting to be able to turn I did what I always do, I scanned the area around me. At no time did I see a pedestrian standing kitty corner from me waiting to cross. The light turned green, I scanned again, especially the corner to ensure no pedestrian in the crosswalk. Nope, didn't see anyone, so I proceeded.

I was about three quarters of the way through my turn when I caught a glimpse of movement. I hit the brakes.

There was a pedestrian, running across the crosswalk dressed from head to toe in BLACK. I had no idea where he came from, he was just there. Now that right there is a smart thing isn't it? Dart out into a dark crosswalk, at night, dressed all in black. I almost hit this person. I would have felt sick.

Where has common sense gone? If you are out walking at night for the love of all that is holy, please make yourself visible.

It's hard to get the stains out when something makes me crap my pants.

Internal Review

2008-11-16T10:20:00.000-07:00

Recently some events occurred that caused me to take stock of myself, of who I have become, and I have to say I am not proud of what I discovered.

I have become a bitter, unhappy, judgemental, caustic individual. I have allowed things in life to get to me. I forgot to pick myself up and carry on. I forgot to let go of the bad and the negative. I allowed them to take up residence deep within my psyche, to build and grow and fester until they overtook my "self". They became "me".

I am now working on ridding myself of these horrible parts. I am working on becoming a better person. Working on managing stress better, understanding myself better. Searching for myself and who I truly am, because I am truly not who I am appearing to be these days.

It is hard when you look at yourself and decide that you don't like what you see. When you realize that you must take full ownership and responsibility; you must make necessary changes. Yet it is also exhilarating...to know that once all the hard stuff is over I will have found myself again. I will have found my happy again because right now I've lost it and I don't know where.

I do know where I will begin...stress management. I did not realize how stressed I was until I reached a breaking point... it was a huge wake up call. Recognizing one's own faults is a daunting task, but once done a solution is possible. I choose to better myself... I choose to become the person I once was.

I choose to find my happy again. I choose to care about myself.

I choose the positive.

Oh The Strange Places My Mind Will Go...

2008-11-06T20:43:00.000-07:00

I cannot claim to be responsible for the stuff that runs unwarranted through my mind, at times I'm just as shocked as the next guy by what it seems to produce.

Just today, for example, I was in the little girls room tending to my nature call. I might add that this was at work so it's a very sterile, white environment in there. No pictures, no reading material....no color, just "blahness".

I happen to be ~~cursed~~ blessed with a very active imagination and a very busy mind. My mind is always going, it is difficult to turn it off at times, thankfully I am able to pay attention to many things at once so it normally doesn't present a problem. Except for times when there is nothing to occupy my mind and it begins to roam freely.

So there I was, sitting there minding my business, hoping everything was going to come out ok. And I started thinking.

I thought, "WOW I just turned 40"

Then I thought, "Oh I suppose that will mean mammograms now" It just went downhill from there.

All of a sudden out of nowhere I was wondering how women who are not so well endowed have a mammogram. Women who are AA. What do they stick in the boobie pancake maker?

Soon I was giggling as I sat upon the workplace john....

Giggling because I wondered what if they didn't have mammograms, but were just told to watch for anything sprouting from their chests after the age of 4o.

Again, I am not responsible for the paths my mind takes. Boredom does BAD things to me. Being bored is not good for me.

This is not meant to disrespect anyone who has ever suffered from breast cancer or had a family member or friend who did; I have lost loved ones to cancer so it is definitely not something I take lightly. I just have a very warped, dark sense of humor.

Write it Down!!!

2008-10-29T07:41:00.000-06:00

I have learned over the years to write ideas down when they pop into my head or else I forget them. It takes a lot of discipline to do this since most of my ideas come at the most inopportune moments, like just when I'm drifting off to sleep. To counter this problem, I usually have a notebook and a pen beside my bed. I've also purchased a digital voice recorder for when I'm driving or otherwise engaged and unable to pen something. Usually this works great!

However, there are times that I am just too dang tired to want to get up. It is times like these that it is easy to delude myself into thinking, "oh I'll remember... I'll tell myself to remember and I'll remember". Yeah, guess what...I never do remember my idea. What I do remember is how important it is to write it down no matter how tired I am. I have learned that these moments are my subconscious' way of sneaking through and saying PSYCHE!!!!! Hahahaha fooled you... It dangles the carrot of a great idea in front of me and then yanks it away when I am too lazy to make good on it right away. Impatient my subconscious is!!

I blog about this today because this very thing happened to me last night. I was laying on the couch, vegging and watching my older girl on the computer. As I watched her I had this great idea for a blog... but alas I was tired and the pens were all the way upstairs (remember I haven't fully unpacked yet), so I told myself I would remember.

SURPRISE!!!!

I didn't remember...hence this lovely ramble. Next time I will just get up and write it down.

Exhaustion

2008-10-25T08:42:00.000-06:00

We are all moved, well pretty much. There are still a few odds and ends at the old place, along with the cleaning. My ~~wonderful~~ roommate left all the cleaning for my girls and I... this includes all the leaves that need to be raked in the backyard. Oh well, I suppose that means ALL the damage deposit that gets returned will be mine. I shouldn't really be surprised at his leavings.

I was ~~slightly annoyed~~ bordering on a healthy rage when I found garbage and empties belonging to him left in the basement, but got over it as there's no point in being angry. Anger is not going to clean it up, the girls and I are.

We spent my entire week off moving and making sure the new house was unpacked enough to provide the girls with a feeling of home when I went back to work on Wed. Sleep, rest and relaxation were things I could only dream of, in fact, it was like I had to come back to work to get rest. Now I'm back and I can't wait for my days off. I am exhausted. It requires great effort just to remain upright and keep my eyes open. At this point any action taken is a huge exertion.

There will be no rest for me until after the 29th (that's the first day off in the next set of days off and will be the day I will spend cleaning the old place), but let me tell you ... as soon as the rug shampooer is gone on the 30th I am going home and curling up into the fetal position and then I am not moving for the next few days.

I know that won't happen because I am a driven person and there is still much to unpack, however, I am going to rest on the 30th. I need a day to step back, to find myself again and my inner peace. I need to relax. Right now I feel like I have been going mach 9 forever and my engine is screaming .... STOOOOOPPPPPPP!!!!

I also wonder, if I'm feeling this exhausted, how must my girlies be feeling? They worked so hard this past little while. Without their help we would still be in between homes. I am definitely blessed to have such wonderful children. I am so proud of them, they worked steadily and without complaint. They saw tasks to be done and they did them. They will be receiving a well deserved treat...I'm just not sure what yet. I have amazing girls!!!

As I sit here, bleary eyed, feeling like I haven't slept in years.... I can't help but think the 30th can't come soon enough.

PS: I am blogging from work because my home internet is not yet hooked up, but that in itself is a whole other story. Gotta love Telus, and that's all I have to say about that (for now)

Fast Food Follies

2008-10-16T08:45:00.001-06:00

Incident One:

Recently there have been a few events that have caused my ~~blood pressure to rise a few notches~~ blood to boil.

As I have stated we are in the process of moving, so culinary skills have sort of been forgotten to some degree and we have acquainted ourselves with drive-thrus. I went to the Dairy Queen near my house and began to place my order. It was very simple really. I wanted a cheeseburger, well done with extra cheese, combo, coke to drink as well as an order of onion rings, and two blizzards for my girls who had eaten earlier. Little Barbie "not quite out of middle school" Bimbette couldn't seem to wrap her head around my order. She totally butchered it when she read it back to me, apparently as well as means "instead of" so she figured I wanted the combo with O rings instead of fries. I patiently repeated my order.

We went through this gong show FOUR times. FOUR TIMES PEOPLE!!!!!!! Is there anyone who would not have been frustrated by this point? Seriously, if she hasn't gotten it after four tries, it's not happening. I felt like I was at the Special Olympics of the fast food service. I wanted to get out my green crayola and draw her a picture. I was gnashing my teeth and my knuckles were turning white as I gripped my steering wheel harder and harder. I told her to forget my order, I'd go elsewhere. Then little Miss "I wear a headset at the drive-thru window so I can act anyway I want" says, "Don't you be rude to me, there is no need for you to be rude" (Envision your teen daughter talking to you in anger with the head bob/finger snapping going on). While I wasn't rude to this point, her comment raised my hackles and I replied, "Sweetheart, believe me when I tell you I have not yet begun to be rude.... BUT I can begin if you'd like" At this point I figured it was in my best interest to just back away. So I did, I backed out of the drive-thru and came home.

Once at home I phoned the restaurant to speak to the manager. Of course he wasn't in. I got Lil Johnny on the phone who informed me with a snicker that the manager wasn't in. So I asked how it was that there was a restaurant full of unsupervised pre-pubescent pimply faced staff...SURPRISE!!!!!! There was an assistant manager on duty. Imagine my joy when the assistant manager could barely speak English. *sigh* I expressed my displeasure to him, not really expecting anything. He kept saying sorry, but that's not what I wanted. He asked for my number, I refused to give it. As far as I am/was concerned Dairy Queen is no longer on my go to places. Especially when you count this current incident with the one I blogged about before http://fnygrl68.blogspot.com/2008/05/cold-burgerdirty-bathroom.html

They must have call display because it wasn't too long until the manager called me. He said that he'd received my concerns and felt awful. What could he do to make me happy he wondered, could he send me some coupons. I said NO. I wasn't complaining for free food, I was complaining on principle. I was complaining because what happened to customer service and the customer is always right??? I was complaining because I was tired of constantly complaining about the state of customer service and not doing anything about it. I told him that it is easy to walk away from somewhere disgruntled and disgusted by the service received, but how could one expect any changes if nothing is ever said. Perhaps if more people stood up and took a stand saying "we're not gonna take it anymore" change would come. I told him that as such, I would no longer be a patron of his establishment. I thanked him for his time and ended the call.

Yes, I may be just one voice, but I am one voice that spoke up. I am one voice that said I will not stand for this type of service. It is my patronage that pays your wage and I for one am telling you... YOU'RE FIRED!!

Incident Two:

On Monday morning I decided to stop at the McDonald's on my way to work for breaky. Usually it is fast service so I wasn't concerned that I would be running late. So I enter the drive-thru lane and stop at the speaker box. It should also be noted that another vehicle pulled in behind me immediately and there was not a note to be seen anywhere on the menu.

The drive-thru nazi came on line, "Good Morning welcome to Mcdonald's I need to tell you that our interact machine is down. Will that affect your order?"

Uuuuh, hell yeah that's going to affect my order and now I'm STUCK in this drive-thru lane, wasting my time with no food at the end. I was livid to say the least.

I told her that I would not be placing an order and wondered aloud why it was only stated AFTER one was locked into the drive-thru lane. Her response, "I'm sorry Ma'am but it's the best we could do".

I'm sorry you moronic drive-thru drone, but NO that's not the best you can do...You could have an employee standing OUTSIDE, BEFORE the drive-thru lane letting people know that the interact machine is down. You could have been pro-active so that this fiasco could have been avoided.

So there I sat, for FIFTEEN minutes because that was the day they chose not to be "fast food". Now, not only have I wasted fifteen minutes of my life that I'll never get back, I still have no breakfast. Me without breakfast in the morning is NOT a pretty sight.

Finally I was out of drive-thru hell. I backtracked 4 blocks to the A&W and placed my order there. The people were friendly and capable. Most importantly their interact machine worked!!!!!

I think A&W will be my new breaky go to place when I decide to make that stop on the way to work.

Incident Three:

Yesterday I wanted coffee to take with me to the new house when I went over there to do a few things. I drove to the closest Tim Horton's to my house and got in line. Anyone who has ever gone to a Timmy's in the morning knows that it is a gong show. It is like a herd of cattle battling to get to the feed trough first.

This particular Tim's is in a complex that also has a Save-On Foods, a McDonald's (notice I didn't go there) and a bunch of other stores. So when the line for the Timmy's drive-thru is backed up, cars can be lined up to the opposite entrance. Now courtesy dictates that you not block any of the lanes to the parking lot of Save-On Foods, thus you have small breaks in the line every two cars or so.

As I am sitting in line, waiting not so patiently (I hate waiting) a white pick-up comes down the lane from the Save-On parking lot. He can see the line of cars in front of and behind me, I mean you'd have to be severely focally challenged not to. Since I know that he can see and obviously knows that this is a line for Tim's I assumed that he was leaving the store parking lot. Yeah, note to self...ASSUME NOTHING!!!!

This freak of nature CUT in front of me and got in line.

I took a deep cleansing breath. Pried my fingers off my steering wheel and did some relaxation exercises. I would not allow that jackass to ruin my day, I would not. There are just some people in this world for whom common sense and courtesy are too difficult to grasp, let alone practice.

All was right again. I had found my happy place. I was smiling. Then it happened.

A small car came from the opposite direction and turned as though he was going into the Save-On parking lot. But then.... he reversed and then pulled in front of me, behind dickwad number one blocking the entry to the Save-On parking lot. I had to blink my eyes. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. The rage bubbled over. I laid on my horn and practiced my arm waving and hand gesturing. I think he could read lips never mind the sign language I was sending him. He moved out of the area.

As I watched him he drove up past the front of the line and pulled to the entrance to the drive-thru almost blocking the entrance completely. He had left enough room for small cars to get by. Soon it was time for the truck in front of me to enter the drive-thru, he had to hop the curb to avoid hitting Mr. Asshat I'm Too Cool for the Line Dickhead Nuimber Two.

Then, to my utter astonishment this asshole pulls in behind the truck AGAIN cutting me off and butting in. He had the audacity to look in his mirror and smirk. I hope he felt like a big man all day. I hope he felt like he'd accomplished something with his day. In my world he has succeeded in showing me what an ignorant bully he is. How very immature, sly, sneaky and underhanded he is.

All I have to say is ... and people wonder why I believe in selective thinning of the herd. Why I can understand how people are driven to perform violent acts upon others. Why I think our world is on a hell bent path to self-destruction.

This people is why.

Little Girls are Sugar 'n' Spice 'n' Mouth Guards and Sticks!!

2008-10-12T06:20:00.001-06:00

Yesterday was my baby girl's first EVER ice hockey game/practice. I took a couple of hours away from work so that I would be able to take her. My heart did little flip flops as I helped her with her gear and then watched her take the first tentative strides toward the bench. She was nervous ... at least that's what she said, but it sure didn't show.

I laughed as I was helping her dress because the more stuff we put on the more worried she was became. She kept saying, "Mom, I don't think I'm going to be able to skate with all this on." I kept reassuring her that she would be able to.

Look at her:

How cute is this little face behind the mask?

She was amazing!!! She is one of those lucky people who is a natural at whatever sport she plays. Hockey doesn't seem to be any different. She innately seemed to know where to position herself, when to go in and when to hang back. She showed no fear and dove right into the action.

That's her in the blue with her back to us on the left... in front of the orange dude.

She even had a very close scoring opportunity which I almost missed because I was changing lenses on my camera, shhh don't tell her. It was difficult taking photos through the glass whilst shivering, many of my shots were blurry but at least her first time was documented.

She has the puck !!! Go girl, go!!

It was so exciting to watch her. It made my heart go pitty-pat. I used to play and she shares my love for the game. She looked like an old pro. Watching her with the other kids one couldn't tell that it was her first time playing.

She is the one in the middle on both these photos. She kept up with the other kids, and went into the corner and fought for the puck. I think she's played somewhere before...in a past life, because she sure didn't look like a rookie player.

Well, except for maybe here:

She dropped the water bottle and couldn't pick it up. Pesky, bulky hockey gloves anyway!!!!!

She is playing in a pond hockey league as opposed to the minor hockey league in our city. Anyone who has ever played organized hockey will know what I mean when I say some hockey parents can really ruin it for some kids and the league here is no exception. When I first phoned to inquire about registering her the woman I spoke to was rather snobbish when I mentioned that my girl had not played before. She then went on to haughtily explain that the girls team was a "travelling" team and it was very expensive. So I asked about the Pee Wee C team in the league, her reply was "if I wanted my little girl getting hit all over the ice by a bunch of boys then by all means put her on that team". My reply... Thanks for making my decision easier. We'll save $450 and put her in pond hockey.

The pond hockey league is more laid back. It truly IS just about having fun and being a part of a team. There is a lot of parent involvement, in a good and positive way. All kids, all ability levels are accepted and encouraged. If there is a child who can't afford the $100 sign up fee or equipment then help is given so that the child can play. The philosophy is that ALL kids deserve the opportunity to experience the great sport of hockey.

Just to give you an example of how great the people are: When we arrived at the rink we were a bit late due to the fact that I got hung up at work a bit. One of the Dads showed us our dressing room and then made sure the girl got to her bench. He and I began to chat. Through the course of the conversation I mentioned that we were late because I'd had to leave work. He told me that if there were ever any games/practices that I couldn't get her to because of work he and his daughter would be more than happy to give her a ride. The coach's wife also offered the same thing. I am going to like this pond hockey league. It really felt like we been a part of this team forever.

I look forward to this upcoming season. To seeing her develop her skills and abilities. To watch her confidence grow. To seeing her blossom both as a player and team member, as well as an individual. Most of all I am looking forward to strapping on my skates and showing her some moves!!!!

Look out Hayley Wickenheiser ... there's a new kid in town!!!!

Sunsets

2008-10-08T05:40:00.000-06:00

I love sunsets.

At the end of the day it is just so relaxing to sit outside and watch the sun go down. It is the end of a day well spent. A time for reflection.

Sunsets never fail to make me feel good. No matter what my day has been like, the beauty of a sunset takes my breath away and brings a sense of peace and well-being to my soul.

This particular sunset was taken from my friends deck in a rural area just after a thunderstorm. Everything smelled so fresh and clean, and then nature gave us this beautiful gift.

Tangled and Jumbled

2008-10-07T14:52:00.000-06:00

This is how I feel right now:

Tangled and jumbled and pulled into a billion different directions. I feel like I'm branching out all over and not really coming together.

I am constantly reminding myself that there is light through the maze. That soon I will feel peace and serenity once again. This is a crazy time and I find myself losing to the chaos at times.

I want to feel the way this picture makes me feel:

Calm and content. Relaxed.

Soon I will feel this way again. Only a few more weeks of chaotic living. Of feeling like I need to be super woman, in fifty different places at once.

Are you sure none of you would like to help?

WHYYYYY...

2008-10-04T16:04:00.001-06:00

Why doesn't it look like I've packed anything....

Why do kids have to think they know more than we do when we try to tell them something...

Why aren't there little fairies that come visit in the night and pack up my house...

Why is it only when I have lots of physical work that needs doing that I truly miss having a man in my life....

Why can't I just be like Samantha on "Bewitched" and wiggle my nose then everything would be done....

Why

I want to know

Packing

2008-10-03T20:44:00.000-06:00

I hate moving. I've been packing for the last couple of days ... I'm sick of it already, but I have a long way to go yet.

How do we end up with so much shit tucked away in cupboards, closets and drawers?? I seriously need to downsize and get rid of some crap.

Thankfully I already have keys to the house we are moving into and am able to cart stuff over as it's packed. Today we took a truckload over and tomorrow we'll do the same. This is a bonus because I REALLY detest living amongst boxes.

I will be hit and miss for posting on my blog for the next little while, however I am finding time to read my faves. If I am gone for longer than a month please send a search team, I've fallen into a box and was not able to get out.

Unwanted Surprises

2008-09-22T12:07:00.000-06:00

I'm like the next person, I generally love surprises, however, I do not like certain types of surprises. I certainly did not like the surprise I received on Saturday.

I have been looking for a different table/chair set since we decided to move. We do not need the huge table we have currently so I've been on the look out for a smaller one. I really want a round oak one, but it must have a leaf for expansion in case we ever have company. On Saturday I found exactly what I was looking for at a local store. They were having a grand opening event so I figured that I may get a good deal.

I went through the process of filling out a credit application with the salesman as I wanted the pay over eight months option. He took all my information and then called in to their credit department. The guy on the other end asked to speak to me. I was thinking, "uh oh, this can't be good." The guy informed me that they couldn't approve me as I had an outstanding bill with ICBC (the insurance company in BC). I was astounded.

I haven't lived in BC since 2006, it is now 2008. At no time has anyone contacted me to say I owed them money. I phoned to cancel my insurance in December of 2006 and was told I had to mail my plates back along with various bits of paperwork. I sent everything they asked for back to the address I was given. Again, keep in mind THIS WAS TWO YEARS AGO.

I phoned an ICBC office on Saturday when I got back from the store. The fellow I spoke to informed me that they'd never received my plates. Well isn't that just great. I asked him what I was supposed to do since I had sent them, I no longer have them, they say they don't have them.... quite the conundrum. He said well if we look up when your vehicle was registered in Alberta ....

At this point I'm hyperventilating.

In Dec 2006 my Dad sold me a half ton truck. I left my old truck (the one that had been registered/insured in BC) in his driveway with no plates and no insurance. He was going to sell it for me. Months passed and no offers came. Dad decided to get the out of province inspection done on it (BIG money grab since that truck was originally bought and insured in Alberta and was in better shape than a lot of vehicles you currently see on the road). In order to do so he had to register/insure it himself. This was June 2007.

See my conundrum..... I can't prove that vehicle was sitting in his driveway unplated and uninsured as of December 2006. I can't prove I mailed those plates back. ICBC has put into the Credit Bureau of Canada to the tune of $470 worth of insurance I NEVER used.

I don't have a spare $470 kicking around, I also don't think I should have to pay this. I did what was required of me. Either those plates went missing in action while enroute to BC or someone at ICBC dropped the ball and failed to enter the receipt of said plates into their system.

I don't know what to do. Every time I think I'm getting ahead a lovely little surprise rears it's nasty head.

If anyone has any suggestions on how to fight the big bad government of BC please tell me. I have emailed the premier with this issue as I don't know who is in charge of ICBC or who to contact. My Dad told me to get a lawyer...but if I don't have the $470, I certainly can't afford a lawyer, and I'm pretty sure I won't find one to work on contingency.

What really bites is I've worked hard to clean my credit up since leaving my marriage. I am waiting to be contacted for a position that I had to put on hold for a year due to security issues regarding credit, which I've cleaned up. THIS has just cost me any chance I had.

Oh and one other thing...WHY is it that I am automatically the one at fault here... they won't even consider that they made a mistake or the plates went MIA enroute????

I hate big business and I hate the government even more.

I'm frustrated and I'm tired and I'm pissed.

Overwhelmed...

2008-09-21T08:36:00.000-06:00

I sit here looking at my home...at ALL the damn "stuff" we have and I feel that panicked where do I even start feeling. I have to start packing ...SOON. We can start putting stuff in the new place as soon as we want, I'm aiming to be in there by the 18th of October.

As much as my chest in constricting with panic, and the dreaded I don't have time feeling, I know I'll get it done. All it takes is that first box and then I'll be on a roll. It's just that first box that seems to be the hardest. I can't decided where to start.

I think I'll start by assembling all the boxes and go from there (when I moved into current residence I kept all my boxes because I knew we wouldn't be staying). I will do this after we get home from daughters birthday party this afternoon.

Perhaps having the boxes built and ready to go will boost my motivation.

Moving

2008-09-18T07:38:00.000-06:00

I found out for sure two days ago that my girls and I will be moving ... again.

We've had a roommate for the past year and a bit, and really it hasn't been working out for me financially. I've felt like I have a third kid living here. He doesn't clean anything, he won't pay his share of the bills and he eats my food when I'm not here. He roams the main floor after we've gone to bed, the rest of the time he hides out in the basement. I spoke to him several times regarding the heat, electricity, water and cable bills ... and twice in over a year he gave me a small amount of money for them. The deal was that he was to pay 1/3 of the bills on top of his rent. I'm too trusting and I never got anything is writing. A situation that was supposed to benefit BOTH parties financially has only been benefiting one... and it sure as hell hasn't been me.

On different occasions when I have gone away for days at a time I come home to find that he has been in my living space. Watching my tv and sitting on my couch, which wouldn't normally annoy me, but in this case it does as he only comes to this part of the house when we aren't home.

He annoys my daughters with the stupid, childish comments he makes. He freaks out over the strangest things. He's punched things downstairs, yells and mutters when he's angry. Quite disturbing really.

I've been keeping my eye out for a place that I can afford without a roommate which has proven to be nearly impossible because there are certain neighborhoods I refuse to put my daughters in. So we've stayed in a stressful situation. Recently two things happened that brought about change.

First I received a letter stating that the owners are raising the rent here from $1375.00/month to $1550.00, which is a joke really since this is a duplex and it's not brand new. It is not air tight, heating bills are through the roof because the windows and doors are drafty. I thought there is no eff'n way that I am paying that kind of rent.

Then a buddy of mine made a decision that he is indeed moving so I am going to rent his house. I will have to get a second job to make the rent, but having a second job is more appealing to me than having a roommate ever again. In fact, I've put the word out that if the word "roommate" ever comes out of my mouth, my friends are to shoot me.

I hate packing and moving. However, in this case I am excited. No more roomie, the girls can stay in the same schools (in fact they will be closer) and we will have more space. It will be nice for our home to be just the girls and I again.

I'm off to begin packing now.

I Chose to QUIT LIFE

2008-09-14T08:55:00.000-06:00

Today is my one year anniversary of quitting smoking.

I ~~quit...~~ ~~tried to quit~~ put on the pretence of trying to quit many times, however it was just that, a pretence, a show...an ~~illusion~~ a delusion. I was lying to myself and everyone else every time. I wasn't ready to quit, I didn't want to quit. My smokes were my security blanket, they were my go to guys when life's little stressors got to be too much, leaving them behind was scary, it was like ripping off that band aid painfully slowly. I tried it all, the patch, the gum, the inhaler, cold turkey, hypnotism and cutting back slowly (this one being the biggest joke of all). Oh and I am ashamed to admit that I even was that smoker who "quit" but really just quit buying my own but I'd sure smoke yours. Then, on this day last year I'd had enough.

I was sick of being breathless, of coughing up a lung each morning... sick of coughing all the time. I felt bad at the look of worry on my kids faces when I'd light up. I put on a patch and kept it on. I used the patch for 7 days and then I was done. I never picked up a cigarette again. Sometimes a fleeting thought will pass through my mind saying, "oh I should have a smoke", then I give myself a mental slap and wonder what the hell I was thinking. Where did that thought even come from? Thankfully as quickly as that thought is conjured it is gone. I have never had a mind numbing, nail biting, I'm-gonna-chew-your-head-off-if-you-don't-give-me-a-smoke craving this time and for this I'm thankful It made quitting for good easy.

In the years prior to my quitting people would dish out all sorts of advice but the one I hated the most was "you'll quit when you are ready". I used to think what bullshit, pfffftt, if I wanted to quit I would. I could quit anytime. YEEEEAAAAHHHHHH RIIIIIIIIIGHT. Not so. To my horror I couldn't, I truly had to be ready, I had to hit bottom so to speak...and I did. I am thankful that it wasn't a health related issue that caused me to be ready, but just my own mind.

Now the smell of cigarette smoke makes me nauseous. I smell people who do smoke and think EWWWWWWW that used to be me. I do not however begrudge anyone else their choice to smoke. I refuse to become one of those former smokers who becomes a zealot about not smoking. I can choose to be some where away from a smoker if I don't like it.

It is funny to me how I can so vividly remember the day I quit, yet I can't really remember the day I started. I remember my first puff of a cigarette; cute boy who smoked + wanting to look "cool" = taking a puff of his proffered cigarette. After that I can't remember when I really started smoking. Back in the day all the ~~"cool"~~ kids I thought were cool smoked. And I wanted to be a part of them, I wanted to belong. Well, that, and I was sort of a rebel, stuff my parents didn't want me to do, I did. I was a bad ass. I broke rules and pushed limits. I was ~~COOL~~ stubbornly stupid.

My Dad who was a smoker for many years (he quit a few years ago cold turkey) tried to tell me that it was bad for me, and very hard to quit. Of course I brushed off his fatherly advice with disdain and a sneer... I mean, seriously what could he possibly know? I was hip, I was young, I was with it... he was an old man, a washed up...a has been. How funny it is now to look back at that attitude. Things certainly come full circle, I now value the advice, knowledge and life experience that my Dad possesses and imparts to me.

I was an athlete. I played hockey, soccer and I ran distance, but I blew it away in a puff of smoke. I had such potential to go far with my athletics; however I didn't see that at the time. I was the shizzit...I knew it all ... I was going places. I was invincible.

Now, here I am facing 40 realizing how very disillusioned I was.

One blessing that I can see is that my children witnessed my struggle to quit so I don't foresee them picking up a cigarette in their future. Combine that with the fact that it is now a social stigma to be a smoker and my certainty climbs.

I sit here today unbelievably proud of myself for this milestone. I congratulate myself on doing it; I pray for and believe I will have many, many more smoke free years. I never thought I'd quit. People who know me never thought I'd quit, but I did it and you can too!!

Families Who Run Together...

2008-09-12T07:00:00.000-06:00

As I posted a few days ago, I've recently taken up running again. On my days off it is easy to run during the daylight hours, however when I work 12 hr shifts that is not possible. I figured I could run easily after work, BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA I made a funny!!! I digress, I thought about running after work, then I worried about how I'd still spend time with my kids before bedtime; then I came up with the perfect solution.

My youngest kidlet came running with me. It was GREAT!!!!! Truly a bonding time. We ran, we talked...well, we gasped out words hehe. There were no interruptions, no distractions, it was truly a moment that we were focused on each other.

I enjoyed the time spent with just her and I. She enjoyed the one on one time, even if it was created so that I could get my exercise time in AND spend time with her. I can kill two birds with one stone can't I?

My older one, well what can I say ... she's a teen and she's not into exercise and sweating. I will keep trying to get her to join us though.

My younger one and I will continue our jogging times and I look forward to them. Building memories for a lifetime is what we are doing.

NEVER FORGET

2008-09-11T18:42:00.000-06:00

I wanted to post something about 9-11, but I cannot find words adequate enough to convey my innermost feelings.

I have friends worldwide in the Emergency Services field. I know some who were at Ground Zero and I know many who lost friends there.

It was a horror the likes of which we couldn't have imagined and one we hope to never see again. Not one of us will ever forget where we were at the time of the planes striking their targets.

I remember being glued to my tv. Watching with tears streaming down my face. I remember thinking this can't be happening. I remember how surreal it all seemed. I remember hoping against hope that all the people would get out; watching the towers fall and knowing they wouldn't. I know the sick, heavy feeling that returns every time I think about it.

I remember watching in the days and weeks afterward, praying they would find people alive, and crying when they didn't.

Today ..
WE remember. We mourn the loss. We shed a tear, and we hope for a better tomorrow.

WE WILL NEVER FORGET

RIP 343
RIP all who were lost on this day in 2001

She Wants a WHAT????

2008-09-05T11:15:00.000-06:00

My youngest daughter turns 11 on Tuesday. She wanted a gecko for her birthday, and while I am not a big fan of lizards/reptiles I was willing to buy her one. A friend of mine has two and they are really cute, as cute as two lizards could be. Alas, I couldn't find cute lil guys like that. The only lizards I was able to find were kind of ugly rather nasty and fear inspiring. One of them had a tail so fat it looked like it had a second head growing out it's ass. Definitely was NOT getting one of those...I'd have nightmares.

So after exhausting our vast array of pet stores both pet stores I broke down and went to the reptile store.

First impression... IT STUNK!!!!! It was so humid I was thankful that I wasn't bra-less with a white t-shirt. The proprietor was kinda creepy looking, but I suppose when you play with snakes and lizards and mice and crickets all day.... well I'd probably be creepy too. I was perusing all the different types of reptiles/lizards available. I saw a very large boa constrictor with two dead rats in its cage... that was kind of gross. I saw a few cool looking lizards, none that I'd want to bring home however. I had visions of waking up with one of those prehistoric type creatures sitting on my chest, flicking it's forked tongue in my face...yeah, no thanks.

As I walked around the reptile store I kept my eyes glued to the floor. There were a lot of empty aquariums on the lower levels and I had visions of a big ass python slithering out from the depths of where ever, coiling itself around me and squishing the life breath out of my lungs. Of course my wonderfully vivid imagination included the creepy store guy rubbing his hands together in glee .... "Yeeessssssssssssssssssss Yeessssssssssssssssss " (note the hissing s's). Then after passing by the cricket farm, and three very cute, very plump bunnies in a cage (I was horrified to think that they might be snake food, creepy dude assured me that they weren't, but what if the rats weren't filling enough?), I felt like there were things crawling on me. I quickly shudder stepped my way out the door and came home. Twitching and scratching the whole way. Somehow I don't think I'm cut out to have a reptile/lizard in my house.

In the end there were two blatant reasons why I didn't go the way of the gecko. One, I just couldn't find a cute, cuddly one and two, the cost of just getting set up, never mind the actual lizard, was atrocious. Besides, if I can't have the talking Geicko gecko I don't really want one.

We are now proud owners of two hamsters. My cat is ecstatic. I am as worried as I was when I had newborns,constantly checking on them. I worry they'll get loose and the cat will have a heyday.

Ah well, it's all in the name of happy kids. Right??? Isn't that what it's all about .... you put your right foot in ....

To Thine Own Self and All That Jazz

2008-09-03T10:14:00.001-06:00

For months almost a year I've been telling myself I need to be more active in order to reverse this "since I quit smoking" weight gain. Alas, I've been able to delude myself as to just how much weight I'd put on (thank you lycra infused denim... yeah not so much). However, when your stretchy jeans become a wee bit snugger than is comfy one must face reality.

I'm not religious about going to the gym. I go in spits and spurts... sometimes I'm into it, sometimes I'm not. More often than I care to admit it's the "not into it" that wins out. I get bored of it. Going to the gym becomes monotonous, so I slowly stop going. Then I'll kick myself in the butt and the whole ugly process begins again.

In my younger, pre-smoking days I was a runner. I held records for distance, I won a 10 K when I was fifteen and in shape. I played hockey and soccer. Some people in my neighborhood said they never saw me walk. Then I discovered boys, parties, beer and smoking...

It was easy to make excuses when I smoked, it was easy to justify NOT working out. However, since I have quit and some weight some sort of flubbery, lumpy substance has attached itself to my thighs, ass, belly and back I can deny it no longer. It is time to bite the bullet. Time to hit the pavement, break a sweat and burn this shat off. By nature I am not an overweight person, I cannot be overweight... it is icky!!! Besides I have a whole closet full of really cute clothes I cannot wear right now.

I decided to start running again, aside from the obvious health benefit I remember how much I loved it, the endorphins, the freedom, the solitude, the firm bod...oh yeah the firm bod, sculpted buttocks, shapely legs...ahhhhh.

I figured since it had been so long since I'd run seriously I should research things a bit. I bought a book called Beginning Running by Amby Burfoot to reacquaint myself with technique. It is a very good book, I quite enjoyed reading it. It was easy to follow and did not become boring. It includes an 8 wk or a 10 wk program. The 8 wk is for those already active. So me being me figured I was not totally sedentary so the 8 wk program it was.

This morning was "D" day, back to it day, hit the road and go day. I got up, had a small breakfast as I didn't want to be running on a full stomach. Drank water to hydrate, got into my workouts, laced up the old runners and out the door I went. I-Pod blaring...I was doing it!!

The programs (both of them) are interval training. The one I am doing is run 1 minute/walk 2 ten times for the first week. Run one day and then walk for an easy 30 minutes the next. Weeks 2 through 8 progress quite quickly as the end goal is to run 30 minutes straight.

I'm not so sure how well that is going to work out for me, but we'll see. The main thing is a) I'm back at it and b) keeping at it. Now I can do cardio the way I like and I can go to the gym for circuit training. I'm sure tomorrow will be special as I am already feeling it. Sore muscles aside, I feel DAMN GOOD. I did it... I took the first step.

Oh yeah, I also did something that I haven't done in years .... I stepped on the scale. We won't discuss that right now, maybe after I've run for a while I will discuss how much I've lost.

I just got back from my run about 20 minutes ago. I did some cool down stretches but my ass and legs are a tad tight.

Presidential Race.... A Canadian Viewpoint

2008-09-02T15:37:00.000-06:00

I enjoy watching the US Presidential race. It is full of mudslinging and juvenile nitpicking. It's entertainment, it's like the bloody accident you rubberneck to see, the train wreck you just can't stop watching. I actually follow US politics more than my own, Canadian politics are so boring.... so lacking in scandal. Let's face it we are too damn nice ... everyone in Canada is too damn concerned with what the other person is going to think, heaven forbid we offend someone.

I was intrigued when John McCain chose Sarah Palin as his running mate. Not surprisingly the Obama camp and many others started stating their sometimes scathing opinions. I was rather disgusted when individuals started dragging Palin's kids into the equation; kids really ought to be left out of the whole ugliness of politics. There was speculation that her youngest child, Trig, was really the off spring of her oldest daughter Bristol. The rumor mongering led to the announcement that Bristol was an unmarried mom-to-be. Since when are children fair game for advancement in the unforgiving world of politics?

I have to wonder if the Obama camp has sealed the fate of a possible Presidency by driving a nail into the ol' campaign coffin with this particular line of attack. Average America, those with half a brain in their heads, are going to look at their teenage daughters and think "there but for the grace of God go I"; or see their wee grandchildren playing around the dinner table while Mommy finishes her homework... and they WILL envision themselves on the receiving end of that judgement and it will sway their votes.

What really gets me is of all those people spewing forth their "opinions" on teenage pregnancy, how many of them NEVER had pre-marital sex? How many of them were just damn lucky to not get "caught"? I could be waving my hands, yep I'm sure many of us were "lucky" when we got lucky. How many of them have or had perfectly virginal teens, teens who never messed up. What they are failing to see here is that this young girl is stepping up to her responsibility, how many teens truly do that? How many seek the easy way out? I'd say this girl has a strong foundation and will be just fine.

I heard some woman going on and on today about how Palin is putting politics before her family. I say bullshit. Palin has a chosen career path just as many of us do, how many of us would turn down the opportunity for advancement or personal growth? If Palin is indeed putting her career before her children then by God we'd better start boycotting ALL movies starring parents... isn't that the same deal. Don't they go off on shoots leaving their children in the care of nannies? Let's not lose sight of the fact that Palin is married to her high school sweetheart, they love and support one another. If a long happy marriage, that has produced fine upstanding citizens (Track is in the Army) isn't the epitome of family value and dedication then I don't know what is.

This is a woman who truly has nothing to hide. She admitted to smoking AND inhaling marijuana back in the day; she openly brought forth the news of her daughters pregnancy BEFORE it could be maligned by others; she strikes me as being one very up front and down to earth individual. She is tough, and doesn't back down once she takes a stance. She stands by her word, she said she was going to clean up AK governments and she did. Integrity is a wonderful thing, it is something that is lacking in politics for the most part, maybe she can bring a refreshing change.

I've also heard it said that she lacks "experience". Well perhaps she isn't as experienced as some of the prior candidates, however, lets be real here...the "experienced" ones don't always bring much to the table. The "experienced" ones are quite often the biggest bullshit artists, the most easily puppeted by the behind the scenes people. Who would you rather, inexperience with a mind of her own ... or experience with strings? Honestly, when I have watched Obama speak he appears to be a marionette, he is weaselly (this has been my opinion right from the time he was running for Illinois senate)... definitely not someone I'd want running my country.

I don't understand why the candidates need to make each race so personal... why dig WAY back, so what if someone made mistake when they were younger (Palin's husband's impaired 20-some years ago)...shouldn't it just be about the job and the ability to carry out said tasks. If the prior mistake has not been a chronic lifestyle, if it truly was a mistake of youth... leave it where it belongs, in the past. The mudslinging and rumor mongering is so junior high schoolish, if you can't play nicely in the sand box, perhaps you shouldn't be playing at all.

I think McCain made a good choice, he chose someone who has values and heart, someone unknown, someone untainted by Washington. He chose a WOMAN, he chose someone who can relate to blue collar America. He chose wisely and I think his decision may well have ensured his place in the White house.

Perhaps it's time to vote in someone who has values and integrity. Perhaps it's time to make values and morals an important part of our lives again. Perhaps it's time to vote for someone who can relate to the average Joe's and Jane's, someone who lives it...someone who is untainted and unjaded.

I know how I'd vote if I was American.

Maybe it's time to do away with self serving governments and get back to basics.... By the People...For the People!!

MCCAIN/PALIN 2008

You Know They Are Growing Up When...

2008-09-01T09:26:00.000-06:00

Last night after work I picked up the girls and went to fill up the truck as well as grab the ingredients they needed to bake cookies today.

I pulled up to the pump and the young attendant was there before I had shut my truck off.

"Fill with regular?" he asked

"You bet, and could you check the oil too please."

"Sure"

I began walking to the store and I could hear him shouting something.

I looked back and said, "Pardon me?"

He glanced up "No, sorry I was talking to him." he replied as he pointed to his co-worker who was filling another car.

"oh" and I started to walk away again.

This time I heard him, "Do you know how to do oil, you know...check the oil"

I stopped, thinking to myself, shit.... the kid doesn't know how to check the oil. I was just about to turn back and do it myself when I heard him say the following:

"If you don't know come on over and I'll show you."

*whew* He's training ... I carried on.

Young lad came into the store and informed me that I was down, did I want him to put some in. I inquired as to how low it was and he said that he could probably put half of a litre in. I told him to go ahead. He said he would set the remaining half of a litre beside my truck.

After all was said and done, I paid for the fill and oil and went back out to my truck. The young man was just setting the remaining oil on the running board of my truck as I walked up. He turned and handed it to me, thanked me and bid me good day. With a smile on his face I might add. I was VERY impressed with his demeanor. Most of the young people who work at this particular gas station are lazy, not happy with their positions and don't care who knows it; so this young man was a refreshing change of pace.

As I was getting in the truck I glanced up at my fifteen year old daughter in the front seat (the girls had waited in the truck while I filled up) and said, "Wow, he's a cute one!"

She grinned at me, "I know!!! What did his name tag say?"

"I don't know, do you want me to go ask him his name? I could tell him that you think he's cute."

"NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" This was said with great emphasis and a horrified look on her face.

I couldn't let it go, "Cuz... you know, I could. I don't mind doing that for you and he is awfully cute.... are you sure?"

"MOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM... we just wanted to know if he was K's brother... but you're right he is cute" At this point her face was kind of red and she couldn't stop herself from grinning.

My youngest one piped up from the backseat, "That IS her brother....I told you he works here."

I drove over to the parking lot for the grocery store and parked. All the while I was thinking I should have gotten that kids name, cuteness aside he was damn good at his job. I know that kids who are employed rarely hear positive feedback so I wanted to let his boss know how impressed I was with his employee.

We walked toward the store, of course I wasn't done yet.

"Are you really sure, cuz I think I'm going to go back and get his name anyway."

She glared at me while she giggled, "No, I'm good"

Youngest daughter says, "I could phone K and set you up"

HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA...... Yep you know they are growing up when the younger one offers to set the older one up with her best friends older brother.

You Know What ...Eff You and Your Crappy Attitude Too

2008-08-28T15:12:00.000-06:00

In my line of work I deal with a lot of different people on any given day. Most of the people I speak to are men. Men who work in a very macho industry. Men who should be able to buck up, suck up and carry on. However, they are among the whiniest, pickiest, bitchiest group of people I have encountered.

When I am taking a message for my co-workers I strive to obtain as much information as possible so that a) the person receiving the message can be fully prepared when returning the call and b) the person making the request is being given the best service possible.

It really frustrates me when I am given a healthy dose of assholism when I ask for a last name, a phone number, reason for calling, etc. Why is it so hard for people to be polite and professional when conducting business. Why do these so called men throw kindergarten style tantrums when they can't have what they want right this second? Why do they ALL seem to think that they are the only customer we have, that they are the end all and be all to our business existence? I mean really, they can correct rectal cranial inversion can't they?

Example:

"I'm sorry they are on the phone right now may I take a message and have them return your call??

"*big sigh* ... I suppose it's blah blah with blah blah blah."

"May I have your last name please"

"It's the same as it was yesterday."

*silence* on my end

"You have no come back for that"

"No sir I don't. They like me to get last names when I take a message"

"Well my last name is too long, it gets butchered so I will just use my first name"

"Ok thank you, have a nice day."

*last name... same as yesterday... ok DICKHEAD it is*

Some days I WISH I could just say the retorts that pop into my head when these guys let their inner asshole roam wild and free. Why... WHY must I keep my inner bitch locked up and piped down? Perhaps someday, when I no longer see the need for employment I will unleash her and let her have her way....*rubbing hands together in glee and giggling* YEEEESSSSSSSS that's what I will do!

I try, really I do, to see things from their perspective. Unfortunately I have not yet been successful at shoving my own head that far up my ass.

Some days leaving it all behind and moving to the top of a mountain, deep in the bush ... away from people, and shooting whoever trespasses into my serenity is attractive.

Role Reversal ... Almost

2008-08-25T15:06:00.001-06:00

I alluded to my Dad a couple of blog posts ago. When I went home it wasn't really a planned trip, my Dad had fallen ill and ended up in the hospital. However, we (my Brother and I) didn't know he was in the hospital; we I found out quite by accident.

While my daughters were visiting their father in my hometown they were going to visit their Grandpa (my Dad). On a Thursday night my oldest daughter called to let me know that they couldn't get a hold of Grandpa. It was 10 PM so I thought it was a bit odd, but maybe he'd gone out (he doesn't normally go out late in the evening but I didn't want to panic). I tried calling for about another 45 minutes and was still getting no answer. I went to bed with an uneasy feeling.

I got up in the morning, got ready and headed out to work. I didn't want to call too early in case he was sleeping so I tried at nine. Still no answer... at this point I was very concerned. Concerned enough to call my Brother who was camping.

He hadn't heard from Dad and although we knew he was planning to take a trip to Manitoba we were both fairly certain he wouldn't have left early without telling us. By this time I was in tears because I had visions of my Dad lying helpless on the floor and no one was there. Neither one of us could remember the last name of the neighbor who has a key to Dad's house, without the last name we couldn't look up the phone number so that we could call them. We decided that I'd phone an old family friend to see if she knew anything; if she was a dead end my Brother would drive to the city as he was camping near by.

I took a small break and went to a private office to make the call. Our family friend answered her phone and I explained why I was calling and asked if she had heard from or spoken to my Dad recently.

There was a slight pause on the other end of the phone. I did not like that pause.

She let out a big sigh and said, "Oh, Jennifer, your Dad is in the hospital."

"WWWWHHHHAAATTTTT!!!!!!!!" What do you mean he's in the hospital..why is he in the hospital. WHY DIDN'T ANYONE CALL US????????

She explained that while he'd been in the hospital since Tuesday night she herself had only found out by accident on Thursday. Apparently her sister was working on my Dad's ward, saw him and then called our family friend to let her know. Of course L (family friend) went up to visit him and he told her not to call us as I was on my week on and my Brother was camping. He figured since he was on the mend and would be discharged in the next day or two it was a moot point.

Duhhhhhh, HELLO DAD??!!!! You are more important than work and camping.

Then I was mad. He and my Mother had kept stuff from us when she was ill, with the idea that they were protecting us (we were both well in adulthood by this time). My Brother and I had spoke to them and asked them to please keep us informed when there are serious health issues. We are a big boy and girl who can take the information. So needless to say I was FRUSTRATED at finding out that he was in the hospital, had been for days and we didn't know.

I immediately called my Brother who called the hospital and talked to my Dad. Dad was ok, in pain but on the mend. He had driven himself to the hospital when he was struck with an acute pancreatic attack. He figured they'd give him something for the pain and send him home, so typically old school male. This was not the case, they saw his enzyme levels and admitted him.

Of course he did not have our phone numbers with him. He phoned his neighbor who went in the house but could not find our numbers. Hence, no phone call to either one of us.

Needless to say, as soon as I found out I decided to go home on my next set of days off ( I am fortunate to work 7 then get 7 off). I had to see for myself that he was ok.

He was and is. He is on meds that are helping.

While I was there I wrote my name and my Brothers name on a piece of paper with large "IN CASE OF EMERGENCY CALL:" then I had my Dad put it in his wallet, while I watched. I recently sent him a different cell phone because I had noticed the display on his was fubar'd. Prior to sending it I entered my numbers and my Brothers numbers in it, they are preceded by ICE (in case of emergency) meaning that they will be the first numbers shown in the address book should something ever happen that we need to be contacted.

So here we are at today and my Dad is travelling to Manitoba. Since he was ill I have called him EVERY day, sometimes twice a day to check on him. I toyed with the idea of quitting my job here and moving back to my hometown to be near by, but quickly kaiboshed that plan when I remembered how much I detest that place. He was under strict instructions to phone as soon as he arrived so that we would not worry, while I was typing this he called. He is there.

Funny how our parents become people of concern to us as they age, and we almost take on a parental role without realizing it. My Dad is still fully able to care for himself, he is after all a young 67, but ... when I look at him... he's not my big strong Daddy anymore. He seems somewhat more fragile now.

Maybe it's because I lost my Mom four years ago and my greatest fear is to lose my Dad. Maybe it's because he has seemed to age before my eyes. Maybe it's because I saw the toll this incident took on him .... I'm not sure.

My Dad is amazing. He has taught me so much and I have much yet to learn from him.

Pets

2008-08-16T06:56:00.000-06:00

I've heard it said that when we have pets they tend to "resemble" their owners in some way. I've seen photos of dogs that look like their owners in various ways, or perhaps it's their owners resembling their pets?? Meh, potato ...potahto. I once knew a woman who had a small poodle, her hair was always tightly permed and she really did look like her dog... weird.

We have a cat named Charlie. Charlie is Himalayan and absolutely gorgeous. However,like us all, Charlie has a few faults. He is slightly cross eyed, I have an astigmatism; he has really big paws, I have feet leaning to the larger size. Actually, I want to mention that Charlie seems to have an extra "toe" on each of his paws, I have no extra toes. He also walks "heavy". You can seriously hear this cat walk, I have been told that I walk like an elephant. When his nails get too long he sounds like he's wearing kitty stilettos, I don't wear stilettos. Charlie meows quietly, I am not so quiet. Charlie purrs on occasion, so do I.

Whatever his short comings, Charlie is a great pet wonderful addition to our family. We love him dearly, and we couldn't imagine life without him.

Going Home

2008-08-12T08:54:00.001-06:00

I've been away. I went home because my Dad was under the weather, although he is on the mend now. I will blog more about my Dad in another entry, I am still polishing what I want to say.

While I was at home I saw my son!! So exciting. Look here he is:

Isn't he handsome!

He came over and had dinner with us at my Dad's. We had a good visit. We talked, we cleared the air somewhat. I have a better understanding of what's on his mind, he has a better understanding of what's on mine.

I am still heartbroken that he is moving to Vancouver Island, but I understand that it is something he has to do. It is a part of his growing experience. Now I have more incentive than ever to get out there again. I will miss him like crazy.

I am so proud of this young man. He has a heart of gold, he has a good head on his shoulders and he is extremely intelligent. He is still searching for his "place" in this world, but I'm sure that once he finds it he will shine brightly.

Go, be who you have to be, seek what you must. Always be true to yourself and who you are. Excel in what you do. But above all else never forget you have a family who loves you dearly and counts the minutes until they see you again. Remember your roots, where you come from.

Keep in touch.

I love you my Son!!!

The Greatest Pain

2008-08-01T06:06:00.000-06:00

The greatest pain a Mother can face is the loss of a child. However, does that loss have to be caused by a death to be painful? I say no. My oldest, my firstborn, my only son refuses to talk to me. I haven't seen him in almost a year, and the last time I spoke to him I felt like he was viewing my call as an intrusion.

I am worried about him as he slowly seems to be cutting out all members of his family. He cut my entire family out of his life shortly after my Mom passed away. I have always felt it was because he was so close to his Grandma and it was his was of coping, but shouldn't he have "come back" by now? He used to keep in touch with his sisters, but now he does not talk to them either. He has stopped talking to his stepdad as often as he used to.

Now he and his girlfriend are moving to the coast of BC at the end of August, and I fear I won't see him again. I found out from my daughters, who found out from his girlfriend that they are moving. His girlfriend talks to my daughters, but at times it seems she only does so to flaunt their Brother in their face.

People say that as he gets older he'll come back to his family, but I have my doubts. I don't really understand why he cut us all out. I don't know anything about his life as he refuses to share himself with us. He will be 20 on his next birthday, shouldn't he be "getting it" by now?

My heart aches for my firstborn. I long for the son I once had, my lil man. I pray that he finds his way back. I have reached out to him to no avail, calls are cut short and only happen if I make them and emails go unanswered. I try to make sure that he knows he is loved and that we are here waiting for him.

Perhaps it would be easier if I could understand ... I don't know.

Where WERE the parents??

2008-07-28T21:17:00.000-06:00

Twice in the past five days I have had cause to wonder where the parents of a child were. Granted we can't be with them 24/7 when they become older and more mobile, however when they are under the age of 3 I'm pretty sure we should be, or at least be certain they are in the care of a responsible individual.

On Friday I was in Edmonton visiting a friend. We went to Northgate Mall so she could select some eyeglasses. While we were in the parking lot, just finished parking and she was finishing a smoke (I'm almost at a year quit yay me) the rear driver's door on the SUV next to us opened up and slammed into her car. I looked out my window, as it occurred on my side of the car, ready to give a piece of my mind to the perpetrator. My mind was quickly changed when I saw that the person responsible was less than two feet tall and probably JUST two if that. I was stunned. There was no parent in sight. The child was running through the parking lot, barely avoiding being hit by cars. I ran over and took his hand. I asked him where his Mommy was, he didn't know, obviously. I took him back to the SUV and told him I'd wait with him until his Mommy came back. Shortly afterwards an East Indian woman came running through the parking lot yelling, "I'm right here, I'm right here...I was only gone a couple of minutes".

I looked at her flabbergasted as we'd been there for well over ten as the events had unfolded. Another bystander was on the phone to the police as I was talking to the Mom. She kept saying she was only gone for a few minutes. We told her that he was left unattended in a stifling hot vehicle, in the middle of a parking lot. It was well into the high 20's that day, and the SUV was black, how hot do you think it was in there?

She got very indignant and said that he wouldn't go into the store with her so what was she supposed to do. She tossed him into the back seat and then hopped into the driver's seat and pulled away. She did NOT buckle that child into a car seat, nor into a seat belt.

I was left there to mutter, " well in my world I would have picked the lil shit up and CARRIED HIM IN; you are the Mom, you are in charge. " Now I realize in the mid-east the women obey the men, but do they really start obeying them at birth??? Do the male children seriously dictate their mother's actions? I was totally sickened by her lack of care or regard.

What if some sick creep had found that child wandering? What if he would have gotten killed? I can only shake my head ... and these would be the first parents crying injustice if something awful were to occur.

Today, I was driving down my street, THANK GOD I was going under the speed limit and paying attention. As I rounded a ninety degree corner I spotted two very young children on the sidewalk. The youngest, appearing to be not yet two, got away from the little girl with him. She couldn't have been more than 7, if that. He darted out into the street. I slammed on my brakes and had I not swerved into the oncoming lane as I braked I would have hit him. The young girl had darted out after him, screaming. Another older girl was on the opposite side of the street,she appeared to be at least 13 and was obviously with the two young children. It appeared that the little guy was trying to get to where she was.

I sat in stunned silence for a full minute, thanking God that I hadn't struck either one of those children. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed the older of the two girls walking toward my truck, mouthing "I'm sorry"...and she had left the little guy UNATTENDED AGAIN. I told her it was ok and to watch the young lad.

I drove away and shook my head. The little girl who originally had the little guy had her hands full of papers and could not hold his hand. She couldn't stop him from darting out, and really why at that young of an age was she saddled with that responsibility? I can only imagine the horrendous guilt she would have felt if he had been hit. Truly the older girl should have been looking after the little guy. And again, WHERE WERE THE PARENTS??? No one came out when these children screamed in fright. No one came to their aid, no one came to make sure they were ok.

I would have felt so sickened had I hit that child. I don't know that I would have ever drove again. I am so glad I didn't.

Beauty and Time Out

2008-07-13T19:14:00.001-06:00

Sometimes when the world seems chaotic...when everything around me seems to be in a state of "going to hell in a hand basket", it is hard to find the good. It is hard to see the beauty in what's around me, especially in people.

Sometimes, I get so tired of doing it all on my own, of being single and responsible for everything. Sometimes I feel frightened that I am destined to be alone forever, that there is no one special person for me. Sometimes those feelings threaten to overwhelm me, to take over the usually optimistic person that I am. Sometimes it is hard to remember to breathe.

So this is when I look to nature for my beauty, my serenity ...my peace.

How inviting does this path look? I had seen it many times in my travels to the hospital on the days that I volunteer, and kept thinking how nice it looked. I wondered where it went. So a couple of weeks ago we went.

This is our provincial flower, the Wild Rose. There were tons of them along this path.

And we saw Bluebells, I haven't seen these since I was a child. They were beautiful!!

Then there is always the wonderment of discovery. I love watching kids when they see something new. What is it that they've found? What could it be?

They saw two ants carting the carcass back to the masses. See the green worm? Two wee ants were working together to take him to their colony. The girls were rather disgusted by this find.

There is something calming about the stillness of a pond when viewed through saplings. (This was taken while on a field trip to Ft. Edmonton with my youngest)

I see beauty in storm clouds. They are mysterious in that you never know what they will bring.

Yet, that beauty brings with it a sense of fear because of that unknown.

The end of the day. The stunning beauty of the sun setting.

Fire in the sky.... the colors take your breath away. You can sigh at the completion of another day.

So when the road seems to long and never ending. When things appear to be too tough, or when the weight of the world threatens to suffocate I will make a different choice.

I will choose the path of beauty and discovery. The path of peace and serenity. The path to re-energize, regroup and reconnect.

I will remember to give my troubles up to a higher power. I will remember to take a pause for me. I will remember that I matter too, and that it is important to not lose myself in the hustle and bustle of daily living. I will remember to take five (See the hand in the sky).

EWWWW, ICK...PATOOOIE even

2008-07-06T06:57:00.000-06:00

I hate, I mean REALLY REALLY hate using public washrooms or washrooms in other venues, such as work (I suppose that could still be classified as public, just not as many unknowns).

Why can't people take a wee look behind them once they finish their business? No one, ESPECIALLY not me, wants to come upon your leavings. There is nothing more disgusting than going to the washroom and finding a drip, a plop, tiny balls of toilet paper, pubic hairs, lint and God knows what else left sitting on the seat by the previous toileter. Seriously folks, all it takes is a second, maybe two if you've left something behind, to look and perform a little clean up if needed. (and YES I am very well versed in the "hover and go"...but STILL .....just finding this is gross)

Very few things in this world make me gag, but finding someone's body stuff on a toilet seat does. I don't want your body leavings on or around my bits ... it's not like we're bed buddies or anything like that. Someone's pube left just sitting on the seat, waving at me as I walk in is NOT cool.

Remember, "If you sprinkle when you tinkle leave bits of yourself behind, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie." =)

Falling off the Face of the Blog World

2008-06-30T08:20:00.000-06:00

I have been very absent lately. It's just been soooo darn nice out in these parts. I've been keeping busy with work, outside at home and my daughters, no excuse I know, but I'm using it anyway.

On top of that, I seem to be having some sort of writer's block thing going on. I don't know what to write about, and not just on here, I haven't been able to write period. It is like my mind is too cluttered, so I've been working on cleaning out my thought drawers.

I have taken some really beautiful pictures while I've been away from here. As soon as I upload them I will share.

I just wanted to let the few readers that I do have...I'm still here. Just struggling with what to write.

Be back soon.

Insomnia...Grrrrr

2008-06-18T01:19:00.000-06:00

I could just kick myself right now. It is 01:23, and my alarm is set to go off at 05:15...and I'm still up. It is probably my own fault to some degree, I drank an extra large double double at my writing group tonight. That probably wasn't a good idea, however, it usually doesn't affect me to this degree.

I have been suffering restless legs tonight as well. I worked out yesterday and my muscles have not been liking me all day. I decided this excess weight has GOT to go NOW!!! Sometimes I fantasize about taking a knife and cutting the excess flubber off, whittling and sculpting until I'm happy... but seriously that's gross and I would never do that. I just think about it.

Right now I'm thinking about how tired I'm going to be tomorrow. I'm annoyed that I'm not sleeping yet.

What do you do when you can't sleep? Obviously I turn the computer on and sit in the dark, blogging.

Ahhhhhh Moments

2008-06-14T12:53:00.000-06:00

It is a Saturday, a lazy Saturday at that. I'm sitting here, mentally doing everything I need to do today, however I haven't quite found that physical motivation. My coffee is tasting too good right now.

My daughters have decided to make some lunch, using a cookbook my youngest received at school. Sitting here listening to them work together, cooperate with each other, discuss the process and laugh together is an Ahhhhhhh Moment.

I love Ahhhhh Moments, they make my heart feel good, they make it sing. It is truly a take-a-deep-breath-and-sigh-with-a-smile-on-my-face moment. All is good in the world today.

What are your Ahhhh Moments?

For Dummies...

2008-06-13T18:49:00.000-06:00

I love the "For Dummies..." series. Today I purchased Photoshop for Dummies, the all-in-one desk reference version... 9 books in one!!!

I am having fun. I am learning and BOY are my photos going to look great!

First I took this photo...

I made it to a grey scale and then I put "some" color back in using the gradient tool. I REALLY like how it turned out.
Look...

I had so much fun doing that one so I decided to fix one that came out too dark.

Here's the original:

I love this photo but I found it to be too dark for my liking. So I "fixed" it using the shadow/highlight tool.

Here's the end result:

Here is my attempt to make her eyes "pop" following the directions from the photography section of Pioneer Woman .

As it stands I'm still learning, and judging by the thickness of this book I will be for a while.

I am pleased with my first two forays into the Photoshop world and look forward to those yet to come.

Assume = Me U Ass

2008-06-07T21:56:00.000-06:00

In my prior rant blog today I made an assumption that was unfair to someone.

Without going into details, as they are too personal to share, I had a wee bit of a neurotic insecure moment. I allowed past slights and hurts to rule my head/emotions when it came to someone else. (My opinion of the Internet dating world remains unchanged however, but the catalyst for that blog does not deserve that judgement)

Fortunately this individual recognized where the fears were founded and what prompted them. This individual even went so far as to say that this was part of who I am, part of what he treasured and respected in me... he referred to it as my battle scars.

I learned a valuable lesson today. Assuming, jumping to conclusions...leaping before looking, whatever you want to call it usually leads one in the wrong direction.

It is definitely time to bite the bullet and take a leap of faith. It's not truly risk taking unless you let go of all past fears and hurts. I have to believe that not all men are the same and there truly ARE good ones left. It is now time to take that step snd trust, insecurities and all...because in the end, you just might be pleasantly surprised!

Thank you PEL, you are amazing!

Internet Dating

2008-06-07T07:13:00.000-06:00

I was a member (until very recently) of an online dating site. It was the only totally free dating site out there, supposedly. This would mean I received exactly what I "paid" for and it also explains the clientele. When I first joined I was quite excited, thinking that it would be a good way to "shop" around and weed out the jerks. WRONG!!!

While it does offer variety and selection, it also allows the wolves to pose more cunningly in the sheeps clothing. It is easier for those who have bad intentions to lure the unsuspecting. I discovered that it doesn't really matter how smart you believe yourself to be either, you can still be taken for a ride so very easily.

I am fairly picky selective in my choices for dating having had enough poor choices in my past. I think I'm fairly street smart, and I classify myself as a good judge of character. I have discovered that being a good judge of character means nothing when dealing with "masks" worn by those online.

People who claim to be looking for "long term" love really aren't. They are looking to see how many they can string along. They will talk to and show interest in someone until they come across a profile that seems to offer something more (most profiles are purposely deceptive in some way to lure people to contact it's author)... bringing us to the age old question "is the grass greener"? I think online dating is akin to turning a small child loose in a candy store full of all the candies of the world and telling him to choose just one.

I've gone on my share of dates, most of them were duds. I've made some really good friends from that site, both female and male. However, yesterday I deleted my profile.

I deleted it because I'm so tired of the energy that it takes from me, the hurt it inflicts on me time and again, and yes I know I probably set myself up for those hurts because I care too much, I'm too soft on the inside and I suppose, to be honest, I wear my heart on my sleeve. But HOW does one stop being themselves. I also admit that I have walls up as a protective mechanism, and letting them down is the most scary thing ever. The other day....the other day I stepped out of my comfort zone, I bared my heart and soul...and now I feel the fool.

Why do people tell others that they are interested, they really like them, they want to pursue things...they text and call often, they make future plans and then.... then they just fall off the face of the earth. There is no "ending" conversation, no reason given. They just suddenly quit taking your calls, quit responding to messages...they just cease to be.

Is it too much to ask that people who participate in online dating retain a modicum of their humanity. Is it too much to ask that they treat others with respect and courtesy. Is it too much to ask that they tell the other person they are not interested, for whatever reason, ESPECIALLY after spending much time talking and plan making. Is it too much to ask?

I became tired of the constant game playing, the dishonesty...basically the garbage dump of online dating destroyed any desire I have to date at this point. No one seems to be looking for long term, monogamous relationships anymore. We truly have become a throw away society, and now we have included our hearts and souls in the expendable pile.

Scaredy-Cat, Scaredy-Cat

2008-06-03T19:28:00.000-06:00

Things that scare me:

Snakes...UNnatural to be able to move like that with no legs .... ICKY

Worms...UNnatural to be cut in half, and then in half again and STILL live, although they can "f" themselves having both sex organs,but again UNnatural.

Deadly storms...not ready to die yet

The Dark...not sure why

Loss... self explanatory

Taking leaps of faith with my heart...always the scariest, the memory of a hurt can linger and cause one to not want to take a chance again...but without risk there is never gain.

Cold Burger...Dirty Bathroom

2008-05-26T12:21:00.000-06:00

I haven't really blogged lately. Working 12 hour days and then going home to try to spend a bit of time with my girls before it's bedtime doesn't leave a lot of time for blogging, or other Mommy pursuits for that matter. But it's my life and I like it, for the most part.

I did however make an astonishing discovery this past week. I took my ladies to Dairy Queen for supper (it was movie/treat night...a rather unexpected one but fun nonetheless). We waited forever to have our order taken, I mean I know that having FIFTY people behind the till for the whole 5 people waiting to order was probably a stretch on man resources. When we were finally able to order we went and found a table at which we sat while awaiting our food.

Of course, my bladder being what it is, decided that I needed to pee ...NOW!!!! Bathroom... STAT... do NOT pass go.... find the toilet go go GOOOOOOO. As I was getting up to make the dreaded trek to the public washroom ( I hate public washrooms) my youngest decides she has to go too. So off we went.

We entered the den of horrific-ness and I was aghast!!! There were small scraps of toilet paper all over the floor, I didn't inspect too closely to see whether or not they had been used, I just assumed and skirted around them. I instructed my daughter to do the same. Not to mention the lovely icky public bathroom smell. So as I hovered above the seat I was instructing my young'un to make sure she triple... no, quadruple layered the paper on the seat before sitting down (she hasn't mastered the hover yet).

As I positioned myself in front of the sink to wash my hands I was about to admire my stellar beauty in the mirror, however found that I was unable to. The mirror was smokey looking and spotted with water marks. The sink, well it was disgusting, picture a tub in a house full of 25 men, and it's never been cleaned .... yeah that was the sink. You could see finger paint marks in the grime where someone had obviously tried to decide whether it was dirt or sink and then left it. We hurriedly completed our business and went back to the table .... sooooo SOOOO GROSS!!!

When our food came the burgers were cold, cheese unmelted, although, my burger was cooked to well done as per my specifications; the fries were tough and chewy, the pop was set with carbonated water levels too high/syrup too low, but the onion rings were piping hot.

Kids wanted to know, wasn't I going to complain. No, in fact I was not. I really saw no point.

There was not an adult to be seen in the place aside from the patrons in the restaurant part.

You see, I discovered that our fast food restaurants have been taken over by pimply faced, squeaky voiced high school students and really, they don't care about customer service. They are merely there putting in their time. They are more concerned with gossiping/flirting amongst themselves and could really care less about taking a food order. It's almost like a school yard, with small clusters of students here and there. And when there are no adults around to guide them ... what else can we expect.

Cold burgers, filthy bathrooms and long huffing sighs accompanied by glares when heaven forbid we actually ask them to do their jobs.

Geese

2008-05-20T09:39:00.000-06:00

Remember the geese, the pretty geese, from my previous entry

They are kind of peaceful to look at aren't they?

What I failed to show you, however, was this guy:

This guy here, he's the a-hole of geese.
He's the arrogant, goose jock.

He locks the weaker geese in their goose lockers and gives them goose wedgies.

He certainly does not share well, in fact ....when I was feeding the geese bread crumbs to get them closer so I could snap photos of them, he was very rude to the other geese. I wanted to spank his wee goose bum and send him to goosie time out. Here he is, waiting for the crumb

Ohhhh yeah this is good!

But wait... look behind the AJG (arrogant, Jock Goose), do you see it in the water. Let's watch and see what happens.

We heard there's some food here.... look out crumbs here we come.

Mmmmm, this is good...

ohhhhh nooooooo, AJG has spotted you.... RUN!!!!!

Shoo, Scram...Skedaddle!!!! Get out of here, this is MY food.... MINE I tell you!

And just so you don't forget I'm gonna chomp you in the tail feathers.

Now beat it... don't let me catch 'round these parts again.

Let me leave you with this final thought...

This guy.... this guy right here:

Yeah, him

He might look pretty, he may strut his stuff with all his goosie gander confidence, but remember...he's an AJG. He has the mind of an eagle, the stealth of a peregrine falcon and the cunning of a vulture. He is not to be trusted!!! Whatever you do, just walk away. Don't look him in the eye.

He's evil I tell ya... evil!!!

It Was a Beautiful Night

2008-05-14T20:24:00.000-06:00

The weather was gorgeous here today, so I decided that I wanted to have a wiener roast. I called up my friend Rachel to see if she wanted to join us.

She did...

The girls came in handy for collecting firewood...

Hurry... Don't take too long!! HEY quit texting... you are supposed to be gathering wood!

Ahhhhh, finally, here they come. Oooops you dropped one, pick it up!

What good wood gatherers!!

Rachel built a good fire.

We had hot dogs and s'mores.... MMMMMMMM

That's Tucco on the right there.

He only has three legs due to an accident when he was a puppy.

Tucco REALLY likes playing with Montana.

This is Montana.

She likes to play with Tucco.

She's also a pretty good kid. I love her.

Go get it Tucco!!!!!

Tucco loves fetching from the water!!

Speaking of water, look what else was in the water....

It was a great evening!!!! We were all so very glad that I had the idea to go to the pond and have a wienie roast!
A great time was had by all ....

Good friends

and

Beautiful girls

Couldn't ask for more

We left with full bellies and smiles!!!!!!

Saying "We'll do this again soon"

I've Been Thinking....

2008-05-13T10:51:00.000-06:00

Over the last couple of days I've been thinking of pet peeves, and I've discovered that I have a LOT of them!!

For instance, just now I answered the phone at work. I took all the pertinent information and was proceeding to wind down the call. Just as I was going to say "good bye, have a nice day" the caller wound back up and starting yakity yak yak yakkin' about schat that I really didn't care about.

Everytime I tried to interject with a polite comment followed by a "good bye, have a nice day" he kept talking. And talking. AND TALKING!!!!

My "in-my-head-voice" was screaming SHUT UP, STOP TALKING.... SSSSHHHHUUUUUUTTTTT UUUUUUPPPPPPPP !!!!! FFFFFAAAAAAKKKKKK !!!! Apparently it would be frowned upon if I were to interrupt and say, "Excuse me, but could you please just shut the eff up?" I don't know why, I think some people need this kick in the chompers so that they become aware of the rambling idiot that they are. I view it as being akin to holding a mirror up in front of Mimi and saying "Girl you look like a clown" ... WHAAAAT this is frowned upon too ??? Damn PC crap.... *sigh* OK, I'll put up with the nonsense and continue with my "in-my-head" conversations, but seriously, if my inner bitch ever escapes, I am not responsible.

*Deep cleansing breath*... I guess what I'm trying to say is this: when making professional phone calls, please, for the love of God and all that's holy, just say what you have to say and then carry on your merry little way.

I can almost guarantee you that the person on the other end doesn't give two schats about your nonsensical ramble.

Good bye, have a nice day!!

Flaming Lunch

2008-05-11T13:53:00.001-06:00

I went to pick up some lunch on Sunday. The young lad who helped when I arrived never fails to make me smile. He is FLAMINGLY gay, in fact I think, judging by his manner and mode of dress, he flaunts it. And good on him for doing so and being true to who he is!

He had his hair all pushed up so that it stood flamboyantly up from the top of his head. The top (tips) dyed platinum and the base ebony black. I'm pretty sure he had a light lining of black along his lower lids, although he could have just been blessed with that "look" I'm not 100% sure. He is so gregarious in his greetings and general conversation. Animated and lively, hands gesturing wildly as he talks.

His dress today comprised of a shimmering black/grey/white billowy blouse type shirt and a pair of snug, buttock hugging polyester pants. His belt accentuating his boy hips, well actually, he has more of a girlish figure on the bottom half than a lot of women do these days. Frankly, I'm a bit jealous, he has a very tight ass, perfectly heart shaped that blend into legs any woman would kill for. Top the outfit off with some lovely low heeled boots that I am sure only served to exaggerate the sway of his hips when he glided to the kitchen, he truly glided, any catwalk would be proud to host his presence. He doesn't walk, or just merely glide, the boy sashays!

His skin flawless, teeth perfectly white showcased by his enormous smile. A sedate metallic blue half loop adorned his left ear and a couple of silver rings took up residence on his slender fingers. George Costanza's hands would have been put to shame by the set this particular lad has been blessed with.

I don't really know why I felt the need to blog about this. Other than he makes me smile everytime I go in there. He truly enjoys what he does. Most importantly he is uber comfortable with who he is, he has his own sense of style and he wears it well! His place of employ should count their lucky stars that he works there, he only adds to the ambiance.

Some days it doesn't take much to amuse me, or to take up residence in my head.

Mother's Day

2008-05-11T09:44:00.000-06:00

Happy Mother's Day to all you mothers out there.

Mother's day is bittersweet for me. It's a day that my children want to pamper and spoil me, yet it's also a day that I feel the loss of my own mother so acutely I just want to curl up in the fetal position, alone in the dark until the day is over. Out of love for my own children I resist this urge.

They say the pain of loss lessens with time, and in some ways it does. In others not so much, on special days that pain remains the same.

Perhaps it's because I guilt myself over past transgressions, I wasn't always the best daughter. I'm sure my Mom knew though that no matter how disrespectful I ever got that I loved and admired her above all else.

She was a strong woman, yet she was soft in all the ways that mattered. I can remember her laying with me on my bed, gently stroking my head when I was ill or frightened by a nightmare. It was she who gave up so much so that my brother and I could have all the experiences that our youth offered us. She was the epitome of patience and understanding. She was exactly what a mother is meant to be...she truly was there for me no matter what, no matter the time of day, no matter that I might not live at home anymore. She had the meaning of unconditional love down to a fine art form.

It was she who taught me how to be strong in the face of adversity. How to make lemonade when life hands you lemons. How to laugh at the bumps in this road we call life. How to have courage when you are scared shitless. How to face your fears with your head held high. How to give of yourself. Many of her lessons were not intended, they just were because of who she was. She truly led by example.

So as much as my heart constricts with tears yet to be shed, on this day I will embrace the love of my children and appreciate every moment I am given (after I get home from work of course). I will cherish memories held in my heart and anticipate those yet to be made.

For anyone who has ever lost their Mom, look to the sky, feel the sun upon your face and the breeze in your hair today.... it is her kiss and caress. If you have your Mother with you, call her/visit her, let her know how much she is loved. Anyone who has ever had a child and given it up so that a better life would be had, take a moment today... you ARE a mother and you too know the meaning of sacrifice and unconditional love.

To ALL the Mother's across this land and beyond... HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!!!

Happy Mother's Day to my Mom.... I love you and miss you every day.

Big Shiny Trucks

2008-05-10T15:27:00.000-06:00

Today I had to leave work for a few minutes to go take my youngest child home from an activity she had attended. Naturally, I was in a wee bit of a hurry as I didn't want to miss too much work. Maybe I was speeding just a teeny bit, but I was totally focused, eyes darting left and right and back again, mirror check, lane change...GO!

I stopped quickly at the bank to grab some cash, just in case the youngster wanted to buy a book (she did, they were over priced, I still have cash in my wallet). As I pulled out of the bank a big, shiny, black done up to the balls truck whizzed around the corner, trapping me in the far right hand lane (read turn lane grrrrrr). I sped up, he sped up. I put my signal on, he sped up. Light turned red, had to stop. Penis extension, I mean, shiny black truck pulls up beside me. I'm trying to see past him to gauge oncoming traffic, he inches forward.

By this time I'm thinking OK DICKHEAD, just cuz God gave ya one doesn't mean ya have to be one. He has this damn winch on the front of his shiny black truck, sticking out from the polished chrome bumper and his inching forward has totally blinded my view to the left.

I am livid by this point. I slowly inch out then figure EFF IT, I'm already out there, so I turn. Cut through the grocery store parking lot and get back out to where I need to be ... ahead of Richard Cranium I might add ... cuz that's important.

I get to where I need to be and there's not a parking place to be had. Who has a plant sale AND a writing seminar/book sale for kids on the same freaken day!!!!! THINK people !!!! For the love of God... THINK.

Finally get the kid, take her home and arrive back at work. As I'm reliving this particular experience I am left to wonder:

-are there certain people for whom a gas pedal is an option?

-how about signal lights...are there models in which they don't exist?

-why do short men suffering from little man syndrome feel the need to buy the biggest, baddest, most tricked out pick-up they can find and proceed to be the biggest ass on the road? Do they think it makes them more appealing to the opposite sex? Cuz I have news for them ... really.

-why do I see the hottest guy I've seen in a while when I have my youngest tagging along and I have to hurry back to work (read cannot strike up a flirty conversation). Helloooooo Murphy.... you're killin' me here!!!!!

-why when I'm in a hurry does time seem to stand still and not move?

These are things I wonder about today.

Validation

2008-05-09T20:43:00.001-06:00

We all like to hear that we've done a good job, or someone has enjoyed something that we've created whether it be art, food, a story... it is just damn nice to know what you do is appreciated.

Tonight I arrived home from work to find an email from a hometown friend. In her email she told me how she'd spent much of her day reading through my blog. She went on to tell me how much she'd enjoyed it, singling out a few posts. She told me that I am an amazing writer and she wants more.

It warmed my heart to have this type of feedback. I mean, I type an entry and post it. Unless there are comments left by those who have read it, I am left to wonder whether or not anyone has seen it. If they did, was it enjoyed? Will they come back.

I think any type of artist, anyone who creates and then puts themselves out there by sharing their creation with others needs validation. We are fragile egos... artists. We need positive feedback, we need affirmation that we have done a good thing. Yet we would never ask for it. It is scary to share, but if you don't share what's the point of creating.

Thank you Chelle! Your words meant more than you could possibly know. They have encouraged me to be more proactive in my blogging. I may not always be interesting, but you, knowing me personally know how offbeat and zany I can be, will not be surprised by anything that comes out of my noodle.

In a world where negative commentaries are the norm ...positive feedback is a rarity. So I challenge you all to take a moment and give some positive feedback to someone, even if it's a stranger, even if it's a clerk at the store...a little encouragement can go a long way. You may never know the power of your words, but trust me when I say those words can go a long way to making someones day!

Recital

2008-05-08T15:31:00.000-06:00

I volunteer at my local hospital on my days off. One of the gentlemen that I have had the pleasure to visit and spend time with is quite up there in years. I adore listening to stories of days gone by, of simpler, less hasty times. I like hearing how his family immigrated here, the hardships faced and joys realized. It was during one of these visits that we discussed literature.

I mentioned that one of my all time favorite pieces was the following:
~~Cremation of Sam McGee~~

There are strange things done in the midnight sun.
By the men who moil for gold;
The Arctic trails have their secret tales
That would make your blood run cold;
The Northern Lights have seen queer sights,
But the queerest they ever did see
Was that night on the marge of Lake Lebarge
I cremated Sam McGee.

Now Sam McGee was from Tennessee, where the cotton blooms and
blows.
Why he left his home in the South to roam 'round the Pole, God only
knows.
He was always cold, but the land of gold seemed to hold him like a
spell;
Though he'd often say in his homely way that "he'd sooner live in hell."

On a Christmas Day we were mushing our way over the Dawson trail.
Talk of your cold! Through the parka’s fold it stabbed like a driven nail.
If our eyes we'd close, then the lashes froze till sometimes we couldn't
see;
It wasn't much fun, but the only one to whimper was Sam McGee.

And that very night, as we lay packed tight in our robes beneath the
snow,
And the dogs were fed, and the stars o'erhead were dancing heel and
toe.
He turned to me, and "Cap," says he, "I'll cash in this trip, I guess;
And if I do, I'm asking that you won't refuse my last request."

Well, he seemed so low that I couldn't say no; then he says with a sort
of moan;
"It’s the cursed cold, and it’s got right hold till I'm chilled clean through
to the bone.
Yet 'taint being dead - it’s my awful dread of the icy grave that pains;
So I want you to swear that, foul or fair, you'll cremate my last
remains."

A pal’s last need is a thing to heed, so I swore I would not fail;
And we started on at the streak of dawn; but God! He looked ghastly
pale.
He crouched on the sleigh, and he raved all day of his home in
Tennessee;
And before nightfall a corpse was all that was left of Sam McGee.

There wasn't a breath in that land of death, and I hurried, horror-
driven,
With a corpse half hid that I couldn't get rid, because of a promise
given;
It was lashed to the sleigh, and it seemed to say: "You may tax your
brawn and brains,
But you promised true, and it’s up to you to cremate these last remains."

Now a promise made is a debt unpaid, and the trail has its own stern
code.
In the days to come, though my lips were dumb, in my heart how I
cursed that load.
In the long, long night, by the lone firelight, while the huskies, round in a
ring,Howled out their woes to the homeless snows - O God! How I loathed
the thing.

And every day that quiet clay seemed to heavy and heavier grow;
And on I went, though the dogs were spent and the grub was getting
low;
The trail was bad, and I felt half mad, but I swore I would not give in;
And I'd often sing to the hateful thing, and it hearkened with a grin.

Till I came to the marge of Lake Lebarge, and a derelict there lay;
It was jammed in the ice, but I saw in a trice it was called the "Alice
May."
And I looked at it, and I thought a bit, and I looked at my frozen chum;
Then "Here," said I with a sudden cry, "is my cre-ma-tor-eum."

Some planks I tore from the cabin floor, and I lit the boiler fire;
Some coal I found that was lying around, and I heaped the fuel higher;
The flames just soared, and the furnace roared - such a blaze you
seldom see;
And I burrowed a hole in the glowing coal, and I stuffed in Sam McGee.

Then I made a hike, for I didn't like to hear him sizzle so;
And the heavens scowled, and the huskies howled, and the wind began
to blow.
It was icy cold, but the hot sweat rolled down my cheeks, and I don't
know why;
And the greasy smoke in an inky cloak went streaking down the sky.

I do not know how long in the snow I wrestled with grisly fear;
But the stars came out and they danced about ere again I ventured
near:
I was sick with dread, but I bravely said: "I'll just take a peep inside.
I guess he’s cooked, and it’s time I looked"... then the door I opened
wide.

And there sat Sam, looking cool and calm, in the heart of the furnace
roar;
And he wore a smile you could see a mile, and he said: "Please close
that door.
It’s fine in here, but I greatly fear you'll let in the cold and storm -
Since I left Plumtree, down in Tennessee, it’s the first time I've been warm."

There are strange things done in the midnight sun
By the men who moil for gold;
The Arctic trails have their secret tales
That would make your blood run cold;
The Northern Lights have seen queer sights,
But the queerest they ever did see
Was that night on the marge of Lake Lebarge
I cremated Sam McGee.

~~Robert W Service ~~
~January 16, 1874 - September 11, 1958 ~

This gentleman sat there in his chair and began to recite this in it's entirety. He never stumbled, he never waivered. Not once did he need to pause to search his memory. If I hadn't been sitting there in person I'd have wondered if he was reading it, so fluent was his recital.

I have never had a man recite poetry of any type to me. This was a very special moment, one that I shall cherish forever.

This was recited to me not for personal gain , certainly not to show off, it was done for pure pleasure. It was done because I mentioned that it was one of my favorite pieces. It was done as a gift, given freely from the heart.

I love my volunteering, it is so rewarding in more ways than one. I have found many treasures on my volunteering travels, but I don't think any have touched me in quite the way this one did.

The next time someone passes off an elderly person as just being old, remember this ...remember this man reciting a long ballad from memory, fluently and completely. The elderly are a treasure trove of information, but rarely is it accessed as the young are too busy. I feel blessed to have found the time.

Finally, my drooling and dreaming have paid off...

2008-05-06T19:50:00.000-06:00

On this past set of days off I treated myself to something that I have been coveting for a very long time. It will enable me to explore my creative side, to realize an idea that has been taking shape in my mind for almost as long as I've wanted this item.

What is it you ask...well just feast your eyes on this bad boy:

I also picked up a 55-200 lens and my next need want is a macro lens.

I have been driving my kids nuts following them around taking photos...

This child didn't mind having her photo taken .....repeatedly, in fact she was more than happy to pose for me; well, sometimes she was snapped without her knowledge:

Then there is this child:

Clearly overjoyed NOT happy at having her photo taken.

But.....

When she smiles she is stunning!

And sometimes....

She doesn't know I'm taking her picture.

Even our cat Charlie got into the game...

I believe the cat is rolling his eyes at me...get used to it Charlie!!! I'll be a snapping fool!!

I took my new toy to Calgary when we attended our friend's baby's first birthday party, which turned out to be very fortuitous as their camera decided not to work. I snapped over 150 photos of that sweet baby .... overkill you only turn ONE once.

Besides, tell me you could have resisted this:

or this...

And finally, tell me seriously that you could resist this ...

Happy Birthday Sweet AL, you future Diva you!!!

I foresee many, MANY hours playing with my new toy. I am so excited!

I have become ....gasp all those women before me...

2008-05-03T08:40:00.000-06:00

I went shopping for some new pants recently.

Now I have to be realistic. I have gained a bit of weight since I quit smoking 8 months ago; but yay me on not smoking haha. This weight seems to think it's taken up permanent residence on my hips and ass; however, I have a newsflash for it .... YOUR DAYS ON THIS BOD ARE NUMBERED. That being said, it still sucks to try to find pants right now.

When I was younger I HAD to have the tightest fitting jeans EVER. I can remember my Dad lamenting "they show every crack in your body", and my Mom, "nice girls wear pants like these (as she handed me a pair of baggy Pulse jeans with the beautiful white piping down the side)". I didn't care what showed, or what "nice" girls wore, I was comfortable. The legs didn't twist, the pants didn't shift or ride up into nether regions in which they didn't belong, and I knew they sure as hell weren't going to fall off!

I still like my jeans snug, perhaps it's my middle-age rebellion, my personal denial if you will... but dammit, weight gain and tight jeans do not make good companions (read cottage cheese stuffed into too small sausage casing). And WHEN did I start to bloat after a dinner... bring on the Beano, my jeans aren't comfy!!

So, here I am slowly filling my closet with "middle age" wear. Baggier, softer, less rigid pants in muted hues. In fact, I've decided the baggier the better. They are comfy!!! I can move, I can sit and breathe...I can eat large meals in a single bound and not pop a button!! What more could a gal ask for.

I'm sure once I'm down to my svelte self I'll be back in my snug jeans ... but for now ... fat, middle-age wear rocks.

Screw middle-age anorexia or bulemia, I like my food too much and barfing.... well ewwwww, 'nuff said. Bring on the fat pants.... oh, and pass the fries would ya?

BBQ, Firepit and Snow...... Must be Canadian, eh?

2008-04-22T07:57:00.000-06:00

On my first day off, 1 week ago, I purchased a new BBQ. I was soooo excited. I have been without a BBQ for a while. When I saw that deal that was to be had on this one I jumped at the opportunity (Regular price was $500, sale price $200).

I brought the HUUUUGE box home. Thank God for room mates, the box weighed over 200#. We manuoevered it onto my deck and there it sat until the next day.

I excitedly put the BBQ together, my mouth watering in anticipation of the rib eye steak I was going to grill that night.

I BBQ'd my steaks, melt in your mouth good!! The next day we BBQ'd chicken on it. Then....

Then the snow came. And came ... and CAME. In fact, today, five days later it is STILL snowing.

Last night I said "screw this" and I dug my new BBQ out and I grilled my chops.

Did I mention that I bought a firepit on the same day as the BBQ? It was Spring, the birds were chirping, the grass was greening.... I was ready to pull out the patio furniture.

Then the snow came.

Tomorrow I go back to work. It is supposed to warm up tomorrow.

Go figure...

Special Place in Hell for Me.....

2008-04-21T13:29:00.000-06:00

It has just occurred to me that there is something wrong with me, well not really, but in the eyes of some I'm sure.

I laugh when people get hurt. I mean, I laugh until I have tears and my belly hurts. I gulp out the words "can I help you" in between fits of laughter; but I laugh nonetheless.

Sometimes it just looks darn funny when someone hurts themselves. And sometimes, when you can see it happening before it happens, something inside you prevents your mouth from forming the warning words. Subconsciously you want to see it, you want to laugh.

Don't get me wrong, I do feel bad when someone gets injured...but damn it looks funny sometimes!

I think I'm sick.

Excuse me, I have to go say a Hail Mary or 2 dozen...

Speaking of which, it reminds me of a confessional joke...

A drunk enters the confessional... Scratch that, I'm in enough trouble as it is.

My Kitchen...Imagination Station

2008-04-21T12:54:00.001-06:00

I went grocery shopping yesterday and while I walked down the seafood aisle I noticed ground salmon. Interesting, ground salmon. I picked up a couple of packages, thinking I can find something to do with this.

I came home and unpacked my groceries. I looked at that ground salmon and started thinking.

I decided I make homemade fish cakes for my girls, instead of the frozen crap that is pre-chewed and then pressed together prior to being breaded. I hate mechanically separated meats, it always seems to "regurgitated".

This morning my youngest, slug girl, mentioned that she needed new undies. While I was shopping for those I wandered around the store. As I aimlessly went up and down the aisles I had a thought, an idea ...I KNEW just what I was going to do with that salmon.

I raced to the canned meat aisle. I picked up a can of cocktail shrimp and a can of crab meat.

Once I arrived home I got busy.

I mixed the ground salmon, crab and shrimp together. I sprinkled some black pepper, some dill and a little bit of celery seed, along with finely diced celery and thinly slice green onion into the fish mix. I combined it all. Then I added one egg to provide binding, and some fine bread crumbs. I mixed it all together.

I sprinkled some bread crumbs onto a plate, into it I mixed a bit of seasoning salt, some black pepper and some dill into it.

Taking some salmon mixture I formed a patty, which I then coated in the bread crumb mixture. I repeated the process until all the salmon mixture had been used.

I pan fried them in butter (fattening but ooohhhhh so good) until they were crispy golden brown. Sooooo tasty.

Now they will go into the freezer for yet another make ahead meal for the girls.

I like being inventive. I have never seen ground salmon before, but I will be buying it again.

Sugar and Spice ...and Everything "Not so Nice"

2008-04-16T07:38:00.001-06:00

My youngest daughter phoned me at work the other day to let me know she was home. We chatted briefly about her day as I wasn't overly busy. In amongst the general ramble she casually says:

"Oh, I found slugs in my backpack."

I thought I had heard wrong, "Slugs... is that what you just said?"

"Yes, I found slugs in the bottom of my backpack."

I had to go as work beckoned, however I had slugs on the brain. I was horrified. Slugs.... in Alberta ??WTH?? I couldn't focus, all I could think about was the slimy grossness in the bottom of her backpack, that was IN MY HOUSE!!!!

I quickly dialed home, "Get that backpack out of my house!!! I don't want those things in my house!!!"

"Where should I put it?"

"I don't care, anywhere but in the house" I was thinking the trash, the neighbors yard, the box of the truck across the street...frankly I didn't care as long as it was outside.

Then a thought occurred to me.

"Did you leave food in your backpack??"

"Nooooooo" (giggle)

"Welllllll, maybe I lost a banana and my orange in there." (more giggles)

I'm fairly certain my jaw hit my desk as I shook my head.

"You LOST fruit in your backpack?" How the hell does one lose food in their backpack? How do you lose anything in a backpack?

"Uummm, yeah"

"Are you sure it's not worms?"

"I dunno, it's slugs"

"What do they look like?"

"Well they were moving and they are green and black"

I choke back a gag.

"Did you empty your backpack?"

"NOOOOO!!!! I'm not touching that"

I take a deep breath, "Well, I'm not touching it either. I suggest you take your things out of it. I will buy a new one on the way home."

A meek little voice answers, "oooook... I have to go now"

A short while later my phone rang.

"We got my stuff out and guess what we discovered Mom?"

I was stuck on the "we" part... had my child been so traumatized by this ordeal that she'd developed multiple personalities? As far as I knew she was home alone. So I bravely asked the question, "Who's "we"?"

"My friend from down the street. He came over and looked in my backpack, and took my stuff out for me."

Ahhh, and so we see that the act of seeking out a member of the male species to deal with the nasty jobs seems to be ingrained in us female types from birth. AAAAWWWWWW, how cute, she didn't want to touch the icky stuff so she phoned a boy.

But I digress...

"But Mom, guess what we discovered"

"What did you discover?" I cringed as I awaited the answer, not sure that I really wanted to know.

"There were no slugs in my backpack"

"Hmmmm, no slugs ... that's good..but what was in there?"

"My smooshed up banana hahahah, it was really slimy Mom!" She's laughing now.

"Ohhhhh", big sigh of relief ... Thank God it wasn't slugs or worms. (shudder)

We hung up and I finished my day. I kept smiling to myself as I thought, yep, my lil tomboy isn't so tough after all!! When it comes to gross, nasty, icky stuff she's all girl.

I came home to find yellow rubber gloves in my garbage can. I asked where they came from. Well didn't her friend take them from his Mom's kitchen to wear while he poked through her backpack; I had a chuckle at the visual that came to mind. I could almost see two little kids poking gingerly through a backpack thought to contain slugs. Gasping and jumping, screeching and laughing.

Ohhhhh to be young again!

Teacher .... I have to goooo....

2008-04-11T20:46:00.000-06:00

Recently my teenage daughter was punished by a teacher for needing to use the washroom facilities during class. She was told that if she went to the washroom she would have to stay after class to "make up" the time. This teacher seems to have singled my daughter out on more than one occasion and she feels picked on by him.

Now I could see this being an issue if she was one of those students who "always" had to go the washroom during class and seemed to take the whole class to do so; however, she is not. She is a teenage girl who happened to be in her monthly cycle and "suddenly" had to go take care of business (all of us women have been there at one time or another). She chose to rebel and go to the washroom rather than be faced with an unfortunate "incident" that would most certainly result in ridicule.

She had to stay after class.

When she told me this I was livid. How dare she be punished for having bodily functions. I wrote a note to her teacher. In it I outlined WHY she had to go to the washroom and asked that in the future he take into consideration the fact that she is a girl and she may have female things to deal with. I told him that he should realize that an event such as having a leakage issue as a teenage girl, in the middle of a class surrounded by her peers would have been catastrophic to her. I was hoping he would feel some chagrin.

Then he phoned me and we had a "discussion". He tried to tell me that he didn't keep her after class because she'd gone to the washroom, but did it to help her "catch up". I asked if my daughter was behind in his class. He stuttered out a "no". I told him that it seemed to me that he did indeed keep her back because she went to the washroom after he had expressed his displeasure at her leaving in the middle of class. I also informed him that she feels picked on and singled out by him; an observation shared by many of her peers. I asked him to please try to change his treatment of her in the future.

He has constantly reprimanded the girl for doodling during lectures, forcing her to look directly at him and maintain eye contact with him while he lectures; an act I find rather creepy. I was a teacher assistant, and I know that there were studies done that have shown that children focus better on a lecture when they are doodling or otherwise fidgeting (as long as it is not disruptive to others). All children learn differently, apparently he skipped that class.

Two days ago he looked at my daughter and asked her if she was handicapped.....

I think I may be visiting her school. He obviously has a conduct issue that needs to be addressed.

I am a WRITER.... The Story Must Be Told

2008-04-08T22:06:00.000-06:00

I am a writer.

Yep, that's right, you read correctly...I AM A WRITER.

It has taken me a lifetime to get that through my head. I have tried various career paths and none ever seemed to be a fit. I have always written, and that always fits.

Sometimes it is just too easy to ignore what is right in front of our eyes, it is easy to overlook what we already possess and seek to obtain something more. I am done overlooking and I am done seeking. I am ready to embrace the talent God gave me. I am ready to face my fears and just write.

Fears you ask? Well up to this point I have written a smattering of poetry; good poetry mind you; and children's stories. But now... Now I want to write a novel. It is going to be a fictional account based strongly on true events. Going from writing short stories and one page poems to a novel scares the begeezus out of me. I don't feel disciplined enough, I don't feel experienced enough, what if I cannot focus... what if I cannot get it right...

I am writing it in memory of my dear, dear friend. My friend who was so much like the sister I never had and always wanted. The friend who was never afraid to say it like it was, to say, "yeah, ummmm it's not the jeans that make your ass look fat ... your ass is just fat". God, I miss her. I miss her everyday. I miss her kids who were so much a part of me that they seemed like my own. I miss phoning her in a crisis and ending the conversation laughing so hard we would cry.

Sadly, I miss my friend, not because she is dead, but because someone who was supposed to love her wanted her dead. He tried and thankfully did not succeed. However, because of his heinous act she and her children were removed from their lives and given new ones. So for all intents and purposes they are dead to those who knew and loved them. I think knowing that they are out there somewhere but not knowing where and being unable to contact them is in some ways more difficult to deal with than if they truly were gone. Don't get me wrong, I am so glad they are alive and well; I wish them nothing but health and longevity... but I miss her so much, I wish I could visit.

I promised her I would tell her story. I promised her that what happened to her would matter, and it wouldn't be for naught. I promised her that I would use my words to reach even just one woman in that situation...to give one woman the courage to take a stand and say "I am worth more than this and I won't tolerate your beatings anymore". I gave her my word, my word is my honor, so for her I will conquer my fear and I will write.

I will write, I will remember... I am sure I will cry buckets of tears, but I will counter them with belly laughs so deep I can forgo my ab workout. I will do it because I love my friend.

Stomach Aches, ER,... Sickly People ... Ohhhh My

2008-04-06T09:04:00.000-06:00

Soooo I haven't really been feeling very bloggie lately, but here I am.

My daughter had her ultrasound last week (there's a big long story to that, however I am choosing not to bore you). As the tech was passing the "probe" over her intestines I could see HUGE bubbles, I mean, the girl is full of gas!!! So the tech tells me that is generally an indicator that the body is not tolerating something that it is ingesting. She commented that perhaps it is lactose, as that seems to be a common agitator in a lot of people. Nope, can't be that the girl drinks soy milk ever since her Dad and his g/f took her to see the homeopathic doctor last summer. Tech says that soy can be more intolerable for some people than lactose. So of course that gets me to thinking. Her stomach aches became worse and increased in frequency AFTER she started drinking the soy milk as recommended by the homeoquack, errrrrr I mean doc. So I told her NO more soy milk, bought some lactaid tablets for kids and she has been taking those prior to consuming anything dairy. Guess what .......SHE HAS NOT HAD A STOMACH ACHE!!!!! I feel AWFUL that I didn't clue into this before. Poor child.

A couple of days prior to her ultrasound her father had brought her and her sister home from a visit. I arrived home from work to find this child curled up on her bed in tears with a bad stomach ache. So off the the ER we went. We sat for 2.5 hrs without seeing anyone, amid sick, hacking, barking, puking people. Finally, I decided to go home as I was starting to become gravely concerned as to what we were being exposed to while sitting waiting. I want to know, why, when they have all these signs posted stating "if you suspect you have a respiratory illness, or if you are coughing....", don't they hand out masks as these people come in? But noooooo, let's share the wealth people, EVERYONE get sick, that's right, inhale those spittle particulates as they are coming at you Mach 9...yessssssss breathe deeply. Ahhhhh, ain't the ER grand.

Oh yeah, and here I am, on my set of days off SICKER THAN A DOG.... thank you ER sickies.

Now I must go and see about de-snotting so I can carry out my chores for the day.

Worry and Faith; Faith and Worry...

2008-03-11T20:55:00.000-06:00

My youngest child has been plagued by stomach aches for nearly a year. Over the summer her father took her to see the paediatrician in the city of her birth; this was her Dr. from the time she was born until we relocated. He said he could see nothing physically wrong.

Stomach ailments continue; then headaches start. Strangely enough they seem to occur at roughly the same time of day, early evening. Soon though she is waking up with stomach pain, going to bed with stomach pain and headache.

Back to the Dr we go, our doctor in our city this time. He examines and says he doesn't really feel it's anything physical.

I question my daughter, has someone, anyone, hurt her and told her not to say anything? No. Ok, so why the physical ailments along with a growing fear of many things. I worry.

I weigh her, she's lost 4 lbs since summer. Ok, back to the doctor as her appetite now seems to be waning. She doesn't seem herself... or am I being paranoid?

I beg him to please do some tests, please rule out a physical cause for sure. At least then we know what we're dealing with. I tell him that I am beginning to lose patience with this, it's been ongoing for so long with no definitive answers. I feel awful for doubting, is it all in her head or is she really ill? What has caused this. I am scared....

I wish my Mom was still here so I could talk to her about my concerns, about my fears. I wish she was still here to tell me everything is going to be ok, to just say my prayers and have faith in God.

I do have faith, but I am scared. I am begging him please don't take my baby from me. Please let it be nothing serious. And please, let us find a cause so we can fix it and she won't hurt anymore.

The Best Game...

2008-03-02T20:25:00.000-07:00

I am a hockey fan. I am a hockey fan who used to play hockey for many years, so I know the game. Recently my youngest daughter and I attended a WHL game in our city. I have attended a few games this year, and each time I have been disappointed with the level of play that I am watching.

These are supposed to be young men on their way to the big league. Young men whose drive, ambition and talent have earned them a spot at this level. Someone forgot to mention to them that the type of play that got them to this team was supposed to continue on.

I saw no positional play, in fact, it was at times hard to determine who was in what position. They reminded me of the Atom level players, all the men on the ice seemed to gravitate to where the puck was leaving most of the oppositions team open. I rarely saw any passing, but what I did see was a lot of glory seeking puck hogs. They wanted the goal, failing to remember that the most important play is the one that sets up the goal. I saw little if any thinking, and hockey a thinking/anticipating game. Don't get me started on the skating, I thought I was watching a Sunday afternoon at Rockefeller Plaza. Absolutely no drive and no energy. It was one of the most boring games that I've attended in a long time. I couldn't wait for it to be over.

Their skill level seemed to be lacking and one was left to wonder exactly what we have a coaching staff in place for. The boys really need to be taken to task on the body checking skills. These guys are "jumping" up at the opposing player, with their elbows up. When contact is made it is usually the guy delivering the check that ends up on the ice thus taking himself out of play. It is sad to see the fundementals of the game, the most basic of skills seem to have been forgotten.

Today I had the pleasure of seeing my seven year old nephew play a game in a tournament. This young team played their postions to a tee; I was so impressed and almost in awe of the coaching when I witnessed them play a perfect box on the penalty kill. They skated their little hearts out to get to the puck, not one of them slacked. They were a TEAM. They passed the puck, they anticipated plays, they kept their heads up.... there was one play these little guys set up that culminated in a goal that would have made the greats shed a tear of joy. These young kids seem to have a better grasp on the fundementals and basics then the young men who have been playing the game for the majority of their lives.

At what point does the game get lost? When do the basics cease to matter? Where does it all go sideways....It is a sad truth, but the game is no longer a game. It is a business, a money making venture. The public wants a rough, at times violent game, they like to see blood drawn. It sickens me when I see fights being cheered on, and those who choose to skate away booed. Give me the days of LaFleur, Dionne, Clarke, Hull and Orr, that's when the game truly was a game. They were legends, they were tough and they had a respect for each other and the game that doesn't seem to exist today.

I hope my nephew never loses what I saw in him and his teammates today. I hope that this next generation can bring back the basics to the game. Most of all I hope they never lose the love of the game, the drive and the ambition I saw in each one of them today.

I will take a game at the little guy level over the big leagues any day!

Bucket List

2008-03-01T16:32:00.000-07:00

I went and saw this movie today. Morgan Freeman is one of my favorite actors. I have never been disappointed by one of his movies and today was no exception. Jack Nicholson was also amazing in this film. If you go to see it I highly recommend having tissues on hand because if you are not shedding a tear or two at various parts you must be without feeling.

As I watched this movie I had to wonder...why do we as humans seem to wait for a "death sentence" to "live"? Why don't we have a "bucket list" all the time? We all have things we want to do, things we want to see; what are we waiting for?

Like Morgan Freeman's character I find myself looking back over the years and thinking, "WOW". I am amazed at how quickly time has gone by. The son I remember bringing home; I can remember the feelings and smells from that day; is now grown and on his own. I have worked more than I have played. I find it easy to sit here and justify it as having been out of necessity; but was it really? Could I have made different choices that would have eliminated some of the financial burden that seemed to have necessitated working as much as I have? Perhaps to some degree I could have, but as with everything I had a method to my madness.

I now want to enjoy life more while I can. I want to do things that I have always aspired to do. I want to enjoy my kids more and worry less about working. One thing I have learned from this life is that no matter what, things always work out as they are meant to in the end.

I will be taking some reflective time to create my own bucket list and God willing I will have many years in which to accomplish what ends up on that list.

When will YOU create your bucket list? What are YOU waiting for?

Lost or Not

2008-02-20T23:08:00.000-07:00

I recently joined my local SAR (Search and Rescue) team and have been excitedly signing up for different types of training offered. Last weekend was navigation training.

I finally learned how to properly use a compass and to understand what it was telling me. I learned how to plot a course using a map and compass. More importantly I learned how to properly read a map, a topographical map at that. Just because it is only 4 miles as the crow flies doesn't mean that it's 4 miles as Jenn walks, this is where the topographical map comes in handy.

I lucked out and had a fabulous seatmate for the course. Thankfully we both shared a similar sense of humor and a mutual annoyance with the instructors use of the word "awesome" and the suffix "-ish" every other word. We coined a new word by the end of class ... "awesomeish"!

I have discovered that I love navigation. Maybe I just love learning... whichever, I want to take further orienteering courses. Speaking of orienteering, do you know how hard it is to find books on orienteering? I have checked several bookstores, sporting goods stores, dept stores and backcountry supply stores to no avail. I did, however, find a map and compass book which has good basic information. As my seatmate said, it is almost as though all navigation has become GPS oriented and to find any information on map and compass you'll have to look in the history section haha.

A co-worker gave me a GPS unit when he found out I'd joined SAR, which was very kind of him. Tonight I decided to have a play with it. I googled Geocaching in my area and took some co-ordinates. I plugged them into the GPS and headed out. I found the spot the cache should have been at, but since it was night and the area was under snow I didn't find the actual cache. I did however find that this could possibly become and addiction for me.... Yes, I think I like Geocaching!

Who knew navigation could be so much fun!!

Go on, tell me to get lost, I just may take you up on that ;)

A Girls First Love

2008-02-14T21:23:00.000-07:00

My daughter messaged me at work today to say "Motherrrrrrrrrr you have flowers". Of course for the rest of my shift I was wondering who in the heck had sent me flowers.

I anxiously raced home to see. I was excited, it's not often that I get flowers, and last time I checked there was no one "in" my life persay that would send me flowers for the big V-Day.

I carefully unwrapped the bouquet.

I gingerly opened the card.

A huge smile spread across my face as I read the senders name....

Every little girls first love..... DAD!!!

My Dad, bless his soul, wasn't sure whether or not I had someone special in my life to send me flowers today, so he did.

There is no man that will ever be as special to me as my Dad.

His act of love made my day today, I am still smiling.

Love/Hate and Burn, Baby, Burn!!

2008-02-11T11:25:00.001-07:00

There are many things I could claim to have a love/hate relationship with, but I think my workout is the biggest.

I have recently been doing Billy Blanks' Boot Camp missions (tae bo with resistance bands). Mission 1 was the hook, I mean it was a workout, but I didn't hate it. In fact, I embraced it.

Soon, it was time to begin Mission 2. I watched it through first so I'd know what to expect, it didn't seem too bad. I can do this!! I got ready, sneakers on, water at the ready, hair in pony... Let's go!!

First part, yep I'm sweating, but feeling good!! Let's work those triceps, c'mon, gimme one more set...

One more?!? Are you out of your freaken mind??? My arms feel like rubber, in fact I am pretty sure they are going to fall right off my body and run away, they hate me.

I grunt, groan and moan my way through the tricep, shoulder and deltoid work. MY GOOD GOD ...... it BURRRRRNNNNSSSSS!!! Ok, so Billy is telling me to make it burn, no problem there, any more burning and I'm sure to spontaneously combust.

Ohhhh thank God, we are moving to the lower body.

WHHHAAATTTT, he wants me to put BOTH bands on one foot??? Ok, this won't be so bad.
OH... more burn, great. Well make it burn, make it burn. That's right, you know what Billy, you can take your burn, go EFF yourself with your burn!!!!

Run in one spot, ok I am down with that. Knees higher, are you kidding me? Where should I put them?? Stuff them in my ears?? How freaken high am I supposed to get them? Faster, push harder ....... arrrgggghhhhh

Still, I perservere, I WILL complete this. I glare at the tv, I am HATING on BB HARD. Who does he think he is... make it burn indeed.I yell at him as I burn, I curse him and his workout. There are things I'd like to make burn right now, and let me assure you NONE of those things reside on my body.

I pant and huff and puff my way through. I can't believe my eyes...is he... omg ... YESSSSSS ... Remove your bands. Stretch out the burn, stretch out the pain. Good workout.

I feel good, I feel like I've done something. I feel as though I am taking ownership over my body. Soon, when someone asks me "What's shaking?" I won't be so quick to answer, "Cellulite and flubber!".

I LOVE Billy Blanks!!!!!

Bring on Mission 3 .....

Parental Pride and a Pat on the Back

2008-02-08T11:40:00.000-07:00

As a parent I am always wondering...have the lessons that I have attempted to impart to my children stuck? I think all parents wonder this same thing. We worry, will they make the right choices when the time comes, will they remember our warnings and "talks".

Today I was given proof that the lessons have stuck and my daughter will make good choices.

We were talking about her friends, as one had just slept over and had indicated a desire to spend more time here. This is a friend she has lost touch with somewhat as they are in different schools this year; I mentioned that I really liked this girl as well as the current "best friend".

Kelsie informed me that her "best friend" (I shall call her S) has been making some bad choices as of late. S has been hanging out with a girl of questionable moral character, one whom I have forbade Kelsie to hang out with. This girl is welcome to come to my home where I can supervise, but she is not to hang out with her elsewhere... so far this girl has never graced my doorstep. S has been going to a boys house while his parents are not home and experimenting with alcohol...not a good equation because the results are sure to be negative. She has a tremendous crush on this boy, this week anyway. She is desperate for a boyfriend and I'm very concerned as to what lengths she will go to have one.

Apparently S has told her parents that she will be sleeping over at F's (the girl of questionable moral fiber) house this evening, when they are going to be sleeping over at the boys house. I should mentions these are FOURTEEN year old kids. WHERE THE HELL ARE THE PARENTS of the boy ????? When kids want to spend the night at my house I make sure I've spoken to the parents to ensure they know where their children are.

My daughter told S that if she was going to be drinking, lying to her parents and making bad choices she no longer wanted to hang out with her. S told Kelsie fine, seemingly uncaring. When Kelsie asked her whether or not she cared that she was losing her best friend S gave a non-committal whatever as an answer.

I feel bad for Kelsie, she is hurt by her friends actions and nonchalant attitude toward her stance. At the same time I am indescribably proud of my daughter. I told her that I am so very proud that she is making good choices, even when it is hard and even when it is "costing" her a friend. She recognizes that S is not a true friend if she is willing to "whatever" away Kelsie's concerns.

As a parent I feel validated, my daughter is doing everything I had hoped she would and more. She is showing remarkable maturity. She is amazing.

I don't by any means think that my child is 100% innocent in all things, or that she is a goody-goody; but by todays standards she runs pretty damn close.

Kelsie I am so very proud of you!! Don't ever stop being true to yourself !

Roaring fires, hot chocolate ........ Damn it's cold!!!

2008-02-08T09:00:00.000-07:00

Yesterday the weather was rather nice for a winter day. Today I woke up to blustery winds, snow swirling and bone chilling cold. GRrrrrrr. I am soooo tired of winter.

Perhaps I wouldn't be so tired of it if I had someone to cuddle with. Days like today are meant for cuddling in front of a roaring fire, with a cup of liberally laced hot chocolate. Maybe a big bowl of popcorn too and a movie on the tv.

For people like me, who have no one to cuddle, it's just another DAMN COLD DAY!!!!

If I didn't have to go out in this crappy weather it might not be so bad, however I have promised my daughters haircuts today; and since I am in class for the weekend, we have to go today.

If you think you see the Michelin Man's sister out there today, have no fear, it's just me... trying to stay warm.

This is one fruit best left to the dragons...

2008-02-04T21:00:00.000-07:00

Every once in a while I decide that I'm bored with the same old foods and fruit. This is when I shop around to find things I don't normally eat, or haven't tried before. This week it was "try a different fruit" week.

I bought a pomelo, a papaya, a starfruit and a dragon fruit. The dragon fruit looked sooooo pretty. Fushia colored skin drew my eye, the pretty petal like folds that occurred around it on the skin made me think of a delicate rose. I excitedly brought my new fruit home.

Of course, never having had this type of fruit before I did a little googling to find out how to eat it. How simple, I thought, you just cut it and eat the innards with a spoon. The picture I saw on the internet had a gorgeous deep red colored flesh in the center, dabbled with tiny black seeds. It looked yummy!!

The next morning I thought ooooohhhh I'm going to take some of my new fruit for a snack at work. I carefully cut the dragon fruit in half, almost hating to ruin the pretty exterior of it. I was somewhat surprised when I noticed that the flesh inside was white with black seeds. It looked like petroleum jelly full of tiny fruit flies..... how appetizing. Meh, whatever, I'd try it anyway. Cannot say you don't like something if you don't try it first.

Along comes the time that I'm feeling the need for a snack. Out comes the dragon fruit and spoon. I am again a little miffed that the inside of my dragon fruit is not the pretty red color I had seen online, but again, I'm brave, I'll try it. I swirl the tip of the spoon in the center, creating an almost perfect circle. I take this soft flesh into my mouth. I allow my tongue to feel the mushy texture, then I chew, feeling the tiny seeds pop and crunch between my teeth; but wait... where's the flavor?? There doesn't seem to be a taste of any type. How bizarre. I try more bites, still no flavor. Mushy bland texture, crunching and popping as I chew. How odd.

This must be what black and white tastes like. Nothing. It's there, but not really.

Yes, this prettily packaged fruit will be one that I pass by on my next foray into the fruit aisle.

Reality Check

2008-02-02T06:58:00.000-07:00

Every morning I grab my coffee and sit down at the computer and read several online newspapers. One of which is the paper from home. I like to keep up on what's happening there; maybe I'm just nosey.... who knows!

Morbidly, I read the obits daily. I scan the names to see if I know anyone who's made their final journey. This morning I saw the name I recognized...a "boy" (I use the term boy because I never knew him as the man he became) I used to party with, hang out with on weekends (for as long as I dated his friend anyway). I remember him as a quiet sort, yet fun loving. Most of all I am remembering a certain rodeo dance where he and I shared the longest kiss surrounded by the cowboy hats of our peers held in a ring around our heads. I didn't know him any more than could be allowed given the circumstances surrounding our interactions; ok, the group of us were usually drunk on weekends.

He was 41, a mere two years older than I... wow.

If this doesn't bring your mortality to the forefront I don't know what will. I mean, seriously, I may be 39, but I still feel young and I have a lot of living left to do. How long before my clock of life reaches it's end? What a daunting thought. Will I have left things undone, or will I go with no regrets? No regrets... what a funny concept,

I think we all have that goal but as I've gotten older I've realized that it is a silly, almost impossible notion. Life is full of lessons designed to teach us and make us think/realize... there are always going to be things we "wish" we could have done differently (regret). So perhaps just striving to live the best life we can is the best course of action.

It seems as though everytime I hear of someone who has lived a life far too short, I think I should count my blessings. I should be more appreciative; less wanting Enjoy more; rush less. Talk less; listen more. Judge less; understand more. Stress less; relax more.

Life is short, no matter how long you are given. Make the most of your allotted time.

I know you hear me...but are you listening?

2008-01-30T22:43:00.000-07:00

I've recently had some conversations with various people regarding the dying art of communication, as I know it. Apparently for the younger generations communication IS the cold, lack of human touch electronic messaging that we see so much of today.

Anyway, I digress from my main point tonight...

How many times do we speak to people and wonder are they even listening? Or how many times are we physically present in a conversation, but mentally elsewhere?

At work today, ok at work everyday I experience this and on really busy days it makes me wish I could reach through the phone and shake the shit out of some people. I book hotels for men who are out in the field, needless to say I speak to a LOT of front desk clerks. I am very much a say what I have to say person, and then I move on.... NEXT.

Here's a typical booking:

Me: Hi, this is **** from *** *********. I'd like to book a single, non-smoking room for one night beginning tonight, it's for one of our employees.

FD Agent: Could you hold for one moment please?

Me: Sure

FD Agent: Sorry about that I just had to switch phones.

Me: that's ok

FD Agent: Soooo what kind of room did you want?

Me: Single, non-smoking

FD Agent: Okkk *insert various mouth noises*, uuuhhhh soooo a single

Me: that's right

FD Agent: and would like smoking or non?

Me: non

(by this time I'm flipping the bird at the phone and mentally I'm having a totally separate conversation, in which I am able to say EXACTLY what I'm thinking. I actually worry sometimes that I may slip up and say what I'm thinking... Generally I'm thinking you stupid f**k, did I not just TELL you exactly what I wanted at the beginning of the conversation...arrrggghhhhh. Then I'm getting pissed off at the "choo choo chaa chaa" mouth noises people seem to feel the need to make when concentrating.... what's up with that, can't you just silently stick your tongue out the side of your mouth?)

FD Agent: uuhhhhh...... sooooooo a single non-smoking ... ooookkkk and how long did you want that for?

Me: One night starting tonight.

FD Agent: and when would they be coming in?

Me (as I am biting my tongue so hard I taste blood): t o n i g h t (Gawd, I wonder how much slower I will have to speak, perhaps I should just draw a picture and fax it? 1 stick man, on 1 bed in a room with only 1 bed and a no smoking sign, with a calendar that has only today's date on it?)

FD Agent: Ok **** (and usually they get my name VERY wrong) sooooooooo that's a single, non-smoking, coming in tonight ........and how will you be guaranteeing the room?

Me: I have a visa that will pay room and tax, I will fax you an authorization

FD Agent: oookkkk and how will you be paying, with a c/c ? what type?

Me: (repeat my above comment) give my c/c number

FD Agent: okkkkk and do you need an authorization form ?

Me: nooooo, I have one already filled out, I've actually faxed it to you while we were talking.

FD Agent: oohhhhh ok thank you then.

Me: thank you , have a great day.

Is it any wonder we get stressed out during the course of our days??? Must we all multi-task so much in our current positions that we lack the mental space to actually concentrate on a conversation and what is being said?

I am also guilty of "not listening", I hear but I don't really listen. I can't tell you the number of times that my kids have come and asked me for something while I've been concentrating on something else and I'll absently say "yeah yeah, go ahead". Then a few minutes later I'm freaking out on them wondering why they are doing what they are doing. Who told them they could do that???? Guess what Mom, YOU DID!!!!! I've learned to give them my undivided attention when they are speaking to me.

We could all improve upon our listening skills. It's all a part of effective communication. Think how much smoother, not to mention how much more expediently things would get done if we all practiced listening better.

Reconnecting

2008-01-29T07:29:00.000-07:00

I get up early. Most days I'm up at least 3 hrs before I have to leave the house. Many people who know this look at me like I've just grown three heads and gasp "WHY".

Simple! It's MY time. It is time that I do not have to worry about hearing anyone say "Mom", I don't have to worry about the phone; I am totally and completely free from all responsibilities for a brief moment. I can just sit sipping my coffee lost in my own thoughts, I can immerse myself in that book I've been reading, I can have uninterrupted time to write, I can workout, I can plot and plan ..... the possibilities for my morning time are endless!!

I cherish my time, especially since my children are older; they don't go to bed as early and some days it feels as though there is someone around me from the time I get up until the time I go to bed. Alone time is so important. It allows us to reconnect with ourselves, to be in touch with our inner most thoughts and feelings. It is time that allows us to explore ourselves, perhaps offering a gentle reminder of who we are. Sometimes it's easy to lose sight of ourselves when we are busy "living".

Besides, getting up this early enables me to see some pretty spectacular sunrises !!!

Disasterous Dating

2008-01-28T21:57:00.001-07:00

I've been more or less single for 6 years. In the past 2 yrs I've decided to seriously "date" and hopefully meet my life partner. Life partner, that has become the most laughable thing in my life to date.

First, there was the guy who dated me for 3 months and couldn't seem to bring himself to do the deed. He ended up dumping me over the phone, after having been gone out of town for the weekend, supposedly collecting his father's belongings from a storage unit (silly me). Said he didn't have time for a relationship, yet he has texted me on occasion over the last 18 months. At one point suggesting that "maybe" we could have coffee sometime, said I should call him "during the day"; I just don't understand why he got offended when I questioned the "during the day" thing ...... I mean all I asked was did he have a wife at home that he was stepping out on. JERK

So I joined online dating. Oh what fun that's been. First guy from there, very damaged. We saw each other for a while, a short while. Great conversationalist, even better sex. Met his two bi-sexual friends who kept trying to pick me up, well one of them tried, the other one I think was confused. That was an experience ... one I'd rather live without repeating. Then he informs me that he's dumping me because his 26 y/o rebound romance (did I mention that he was 41?) had phoned him and wanted to try again. This idiot sat there, looking me in the eye, apologizing but asking me to understand as they just had this monumental "connection" that he'd never experienced with anyone before .........was deja vu for me as he'd said the exact same thing regarding me. I was hurt, but my faith in Karma was restored when the 26 y/o fling thing dumped his ass because he'd impregnated his 28 y/o confused bisexual friend. HAHAHAHAHA. JACKASS

Then there was the guy from work (first mistake), who was 8 years younger (second mistake, BIG ego boost) who decided after 3 months that he didn't want to date someone with kids. Now I realize that my keeping them duct taped in the closet for three months and then just springing them on him was probably not the best thing ....... ah hindsight. ASS.

Then there was the guy who was widowed, poor soul. Was left with two young boys to raise, oh how hard it was. Never gave me any indication that he was anything other than widowed, I could contact him whenever I wanted. Caught him in a lie, did a little digging (knew someone who worked with him) and found out he was Mr. Widowed-Not-So-Much. I'm sure he goes home each night on edge until he figures out what mood his wife is in...I asked him how she'd like to know that he was telling women she was dead so that he could get some. I would never phone, but I giggle when I think the cheating bastard will end up hanging himself. FAITHLESS PIG

Recently I had the pleasure of going for coffee with a really nice guy. We laughed, we joked, we conversed... we closed the coffee shop down and continued to talk in the parking lot. He asked if I'd like to do it again... why sure, of course. After 10 days (to credit him I had gone back on shift and didn't have days off again until day 10) he contacted me to ask if I'd like to go for dinner. Sure I would; Friday it is! I was excited, haven't had a date in 6 months, so I buy a new outfit. Talk to him on phone night before, all is great! Get all dolled up and ready to go. FORTY-FIVE minutes before we are to be eating he TEXTS me to say "I think I have to cancel, I'm just not feeling the chemistry". WTF Over??? I didn't even dignify his cowardice with a response. RUDE

I find myself thinking at times ... is it any wonder why some women switch teams ?! Dating as an adult is a whole different ballgame than dating as a teen/young adult. However, I can say this, the "boys" now sure try just as hard if not harder to get into your pants. Guess some things never change.

For now I am still holding out hope that someday I'll meet my Mr. Right; for now I'm happy and content with the status quo.

Daunting....

2008-01-28T19:09:00.000-07:00

Finally, I have broke down and joined the blogging world.

Seeing as I seem to have an opinion on almost everything, and I like to write this should be a good fit for me. Yet as I sit here looking at my brand new blog spot, I feel that tightening in my chest... nooooo it's not and MI...but uncertainty. Will I be interesting enough to make others wish to read what I have to say. Will feedback be kind?

Time will tell. Tonight I am far too scattered to type much more than this vague ramble.

Thanks to Becca for turning me onto this place :D You rock g/f!!!!

Marvelously Mundane Musings

UnProfessionalism

Contentment

Counting My Blessings...Taking Time

Simple Things

Mind, Body, Spirit

Of Losing Self and Rediscovery

Please Pray or Send Positive Thoughts

How High are the bubbles Momma.... 10 ft high and risin'...

I broke it :o((

NEVER FORGET

Change

Life's Little Lessons Sometimes Harsh Lessons

Opportunity Knocked and I Answered...Will You?

Heartspeak

Shout Out For a GREAT Customer Service!!!

Energy Muse Bracelet

My Apologies

Plugged toilet ... cause: RAGS

Stranded ...

Cute Stuff

Winter Doldrums

Disappointment

Who Will I Be When I Die?

Feel Good Flowers

LITERARY AGENT - CAN YOU HELP?

A Child's Plea

Positive vs Negative

Trash for Supper

Idiots, Morons and Mayhem ..... Otherwise Known as Winter Driving in Alberta

Worry in Red

Run Ya Over...

Internal Review

Oh The Strange Places My Mind Will Go...

Write it Down!!!

Exhaustion

Fast Food Follies

Little Girls are Sugar 'n' Spice 'n' Mouth Guards and Sticks!!

Sunsets

Tangled and Jumbled

WHYYYYY...

Packing

Unwanted Surprises

Overwhelmed...

Moving

I Chose to QUIT LIFE

Families Who Run Together...

NEVER FORGET

She Wants a WHAT????

To Thine Own Self and All That Jazz

Presidential Race.... A Canadian Viewpoint

You Know They Are Growing Up When...

You Know What ...Eff You and Your Crappy Attitude Too

Role Reversal ... Almost

Pets

Going Home

The Greatest Pain

Where WERE the parents??

Beauty and Time Out

EWWWW, ICK...PATOOOIE even

Falling off the Face of the Blog World

Insomnia...Grrrrr

Ahhhhhh Moments

For Dummies...

Assume = Me U Ass

Internet Dating

Scaredy-Cat, Scaredy-Cat

Cold Burger...Dirty Bathroom

Geese

It Was a Beautiful Night

I've Been Thinking....

Flaming Lunch

Mother's Day

Big Shiny Trucks

Validation

Recital

Finally, my drooling and dreaming have paid off...

I have become ....*gasp* all those women before me...

BBQ, Firepit and Snow...... Must be Canadian, eh?

Special Place in Hell for Me.....

I have become ....gasp all those women before me...